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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a sick day for my emotional well-being?

42 replies

mumtomaxwell · 28/03/2019 23:15

I’m not very well emotionally and I can’t face work tomorrow. It’s been a long time coming and actually I can’t just battle through another day. I’ve managed miraculously to get a GP apt in the morning so I want to phone in sick. But I don’t know what to say.

I’m a teacher and in our last staff meeting our SLT talked about how grateful they were to those people who still came in when they “feel under the weather” and “supported their team” So actually I feel terribly guilty for even thinking of going off sick.

OP posts:

ssd · 28/03/2019 23:17

Take the day off, yoy sound like you need it.

dellacucina · 28/03/2019 23:18

No. Take the day off.

Likethewind321 · 28/03/2019 23:24

I knew you were a teacher before I even opened your post.
Take the day off.

jiggsymalone · 28/03/2019 23:29

Take the day off. I'm also a teacher and went through a period where I was really struggling to cope (staff shortages and I was covering the workload of 3 people) to the point that my husband said if I didn't call in sick he was going to do it for me. I battled through and kept going in and have come through the other side and things are a bit better, but the stress has had an impact on my physical health in a way that I couldn't have imagined. Look after yourself, take a day or get signed off for longer if you need it.

Likethewind321 · 28/03/2019 23:30

By the way I used to teach, I’ve also been pushed to the point of taking a MH day.
Maybe this weekend think about what needs to change in your career?
Do you need to change your responsibility level?
Your hours?
Your school?
Your sector?
Your career?

Because things are unsustainable at the moment, and it IS one of these that needs to change, not you.

BusyBB · 28/03/2019 23:37

You don't need to say why you are not coming in when you phone up, just that you are unwell. You can decide while you are off if you tell them the truth or say you had a tummy bug, as you may not want the label and judgement that unfortunately often comes with mental health!

Original poster

mumtomaxwell · 28/03/2019 23:39

I will take the day... have no idea how to say it, but I can’t go in.

I’m worried about the fall out when I go back after the weekend. But you’re right Likethewind something has to change. This crushing sense of overwhelm is too much.

OP posts:

SpoonBlender · 28/03/2019 23:44

You don't need to say why. Just that you're too sick to come in. Don't try and justify it.

beeyourself · 28/03/2019 23:55

Definitely take the day off. Tell them you're not well enough to go in & leave it at that.

How long until you break for Easter? 1-2 weeks? Can you make it until then?

I think you will need to speak to the Head/SLT because it sounds like you're heading for burnout.

Likethewind321 · 28/03/2019 23:55

You shouldn’t have to give a reason, but if you feel you have to, food poisoning.

sailorcherries · 29/03/2019 00:26

I feel your pain. I finish at 2.30 tomorrow for our two week Spring break, followed by two four day weeks each side of the Easter weekend. If I didn't have these holidays coming up I'd be getting signed off sick.

SurgeHopper · 29/03/2019 00:31

Don't justify, say your sick is all.

RainbowMum11 · 29/03/2019 00:38

My 'couple of days off' because I was struggling emotionally is me here now, 6 weeks off and off still for the foreseeable, with what has been explained as me having had a nervous breakdown.
It's the longest I've been off for years (mat leave only, and then worked through & went back really soon) and it doesn't feel like I've had any time off at all.
It's so important to look after your mental health, you can't do your job properly or function properly if you're struggling.

stopitandtidyupp · 29/03/2019 02:37

Teacher here too. My staff handbook says saying ' unwell' is not enough a reason has to be given.
Say S and V bug. Then see what the doctor says.
Hugs. Something needs to change in Teaching.

brizzlemint · 29/03/2019 02:55

Stress can bring on a migraine, it sounds like you need the day and possibly longer.

Monty27 · 29/03/2019 03:15

And have a lovely duvet day. You sound like you need it.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 29/03/2019 03:34

Gosh yes, take the day off and don’t give it another thought.

Original poster

mumtomaxwell · 29/03/2019 06:05

Thank you. I’ve messaged my dept colleagues already and just about to email cover/ring in.

I feel guilty and pathetic. Just need space to think. We break up for Easter next Fri thank goodness!

OP posts:

eggofmantumbi · 29/03/2019 06:09

Not pathetic.... Not at all. I've just handed in notice for my TLR because I was getting to the edge with my responsibility. I'd be leaving teaching if I could. I probably will when childcare isn't a concern....

HeronLanyon · 29/03/2019 06:10

Please try not t feel guilty op. You need the day and good for you for realising it. Hope gp appointment goes well.

twinnywinny14 · 29/03/2019 06:12

I was a primary teacher for 12yrs and reached the point that you are at about 4 years ago. I called in sick with the intention to go back after the weekend but never returned. I was signed off for two weeks and resigned while off sick. It was the best thing I have ever done. Yes it was hard financially and I’m now working long days but I’m so much happier and home is home. Life is too short to spend it like this, please put yourself first. If your school is supportive then speak with them about things, unfortunately mine weren’t so I didn’t have that choice

ememem84 · 29/03/2019 06:13

Not at all.

So glad you’ve called in. Teachers have it super tough at present (maybe they always did I don’t know). You guys do an amazing job, remember that, and are hugely under valued (dsis is a teacher so I see it from the “other side” now. It’s not all 9-3 and month and months holiday as I thought!)

Go to your gp. Have a chat. And take care of you. Xxx

Bobbiepin · 29/03/2019 06:15

Teacher here too. I went in feeling under the weather- big mistake. Turns out I was pushing myself too hard, collapsed at work and spent the next week in hospital. Good for you for taking the day.

FlipperSkipper · 29/03/2019 06:17

I'm glad you've rung in. I'm not a teacher but I've been limping through having bad days and realised there's been more bad than good and ended up signed off for two weeks. Look after yourself.

Decormad38 · 29/03/2019 06:19

They should be the ones feeling guilty not you. Treat yourself your amazing to even be in this career.

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