To ask you for the most stupid household domestic idiocy

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Dh put a wash on yesterday- couldn’t find the wash gel lid thingy (that you would put the gel in). So instead used a flglass ramekin!!!
Yes he really put a glass ramekin full of washing liquid in the washing machine...

Please tell me I’m not alone...

Billy - I usually do exactly the same thing twice to remember not to do it again!

Never told anyone this, I didn’t want my friend to feel bad. Friend had an emergency c-section while her DH was away, her mum is unhelpful etc etc. Cue me to step in and be super helpful! Never fear, I’ll cook you loads of dinners and bring them over. I spent all day cooking. Literally all day. I have a massive oven and felt like a mega efficient super-goddess, I made a lasagne, macaroni cheese, cauliflower cheese, a casserole, and some roasted veg and tomatoes for a pasta sauce. Champion. Turned on the cool down or defrost or whatever the option is where it stops cooking and cools it down by circulating air in there, and went to collect kids from school. Came back to the house full of thick black smoke, I’d actually turned it onto max temp. and cremated the lot of it, and had the added bonus of a house that smelled like barbecue for weeks. Next day I made a load of different stuff for her on the hob. The very idea of standing there making those exact bastard dishes again made me want to cry with frustration! Took me months to face making a lasagne again, I was so angry in fact... there might be some lingering rage there.

My DH is a man of all trades and is very clever/ good with his hands.

In the kitchen he can barely boil pasta

Anyway he was reheating left over curry sauce from the Chinese we had the night before. Not only did he put a polystyrene fucking cup in the microwave. It also had a METAL teaspoon. I saw the sparks within seconds and turned off at the plug.

My dear god I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Saying that though I'm sure he's got plenty of dopey moments from me!

These are brill!

... Forgetting about the glass teapot left happily boiling dry on the hob.. Until we heard a huge bang.. Glass every.where 😳

This glass kettle was a replacement for the electric kettle that was killed on the hob. What a div. 🙄

We had a load of old fashioned, beautifully coloured Christmas baubles from when I was a child. Lovely. A few years ago, my mum and I decided they were all a bit dusty and needed cleaning so we ran a big bowl of hot soapy water and popped them all in.

They all came out squeeky clean... and silver. Just silver.

There were tears. And than laughter.

Me - drunkenly reheated crispy beef in the microwave while it was still in its metal container. There was a fire which melted the inside of the microwave door.

Also me - made gravy with cherry brandy instead of red wine 🤢

DSis - made a roast dinner then poured the meat juices down the sink before looking at me confused about how to make the gravy.

DM - put her handbag on a lit hob 😵 Ruined leather bag, purse, money and I can safety tell you melted lipstick gets everywhere and it stinks!

DH - cleaned the inside of the fridge with polish.

Also DH - put a homemade steak sauce on the dog biscuits then couldn't work out where his sauce went (dogs did not appreciate a garlic and wine cream sauce)

And lastly, me again - cheerfully put the cooker pieces in the dishwasher, alongside an old, fine china cup and saucer and a jug. Worst idea ever.
Cup and saucer shattered. The cooker pieces were not dishwasher safe - they went in silver and came out sort of gun-metal grey with some silver flecks and some black ones. Jug was ok though! You

YouKnowMeDontYou my dad did exactly the same once. Wait, are you my mum?!

Long ago, before ceramic pans, my husband turned the cooker ring on under a dry non-stick pan. We had black cobwebs all over the kitchen.

When I was 14 put a ceramic plate onto the gas hob after tea (always did this as it was right next to the sink). Went back in 20 mins later with my baby nephew in my arms to get his bottle and the plate exploded. I fortunately managed to hit the deck before shards of plate shot at us.
Turns out DM hadn't turned the hob off all the way

We had just moved to a new house which has a jacuzzi bath. My son-in-law asked if it was OK to use it but I forgot that I hadn't included him in the stern "don't use bubbles in the bath if you are going to use the jacuzzi function" lecture.

He yelled out in utter panic from the bathroom. It was bloody hilarious and luckily my daughter was able to stop laughing long enough to get a photo

I once made a boef bourginone for a dinner party when I was playing at being posh. Spent a fortune on ingredients. I cooked it the day before, then put the dish straight from the fridge onto the hob to reheat. The dish exploded! My DH rescued it by putting everything into a sieve, rinsing it, picking our allthe bits of pottery and adding Bisto! It was delicious!

I bought a julienne peeler and used it on some courgettes. I julienned the palm of my hand too, covering my courgetti with blood. Ouch.

For some reason I decided that it would be a clever idea to reuse the water from my hot water bottle and poured it back into the kettle to reheat. I did this a few times over the course of the day, congratulating myself on my water-saving ways. ExDH came home from work and made himself a lovely cup of tea. Which tasted like the inside of a hot water bottle. Oops...

Left some bottles of homemade cider on a windowsill in full sun. Came back from summer holidays 2 weeks later to find they had all exploded. We had to dig shards of glass out of the walls and ceiling, thank god no one had been in the room.

Mines pretty daft put a pizza in the oven trying to make myself something quick whilst I sorted the kids out, for no reason what so ever I turned it over and shut the door after about 10 minutes the smoke alarms are going mad and the whole house stunk the pizza had just disintegrated through the bars and baked onto the bottom .

My boyfriend once made a saucepan of soup on the hob only he'd actually used a steamer rather than a pan. That was fun.

We put a throw away BBQ on our ,then new plastic patio table , cooking nicely , then the whole lot fell through a nicely melted hole it had made ,
Lovingly made my new husband a rice pudding , didn't think that that amount of rice was enough , so doubled it ! , added more and more milk , then water ran out of milk, it was like the never ending porridge pot. he was eating it for days.
My first attempt at a toad in the hole , it rose so well it went through the rungs at the top of the oven , had to take it all out toghether rungs and all, there are many more !!

My partner was stewing some apples and went out asking me to keep an eye on them. I sat in the kitchen at my computer so as to keep an eye on them while also doing some work. My work was apparently very engrossing. Gradually I became aware of a delicious sort of baking smell which seemed to get stronger and suddenly I remembered the stewed apples, some 3 feet away from me. They were very, very stewed, not to say black, stuck to the bottom of an enamel pan which, after a frantic hour spent trying to clean it, we had to throw away.

Anita, I've very nearly put a pizza in, with that wretched polystyrene on the bottom. So far have managed to notice it. Don't always get the same, so bound to slip up eventually.

Put the kettle on the hot electric hob. New kettle required.
Melted butter still in foil packaging in the microwave- luckily I realised pretty sharpish
I’ve also burnt oven gloves on the hob.

I nearly gassed us to death by not reading instructions properly. I was descaling the iron, and turned it on when it's supposed to be off with the stuff in. I realised my mistake when we started choking.

I was putting a jar of mustard in the fridge while chatting to someone. Instead of putting it on the shelf I sort of let go of it too soon and it went crashing onto the glass shelf at the bottom, which smashed.

A friend's housemate at uni had never cooked for himself before and was unfamiliar with the basics. Friend arrived home one day to find a metal saucepan whizzing around inside the microwave, emitting sparks galore.

The housemate was doing an MSc in Radio Frequency Engineering.

Flantastico I did the same with the hot water bottle and pouring it back into the kettle. Partner came home and spent about forty minutes making a spaghetti bolognese including stock with water from the kettle. Vile it was!

XH put a plate on the ceramic hob without checking it was off, bits of earthenware stuck to the ceiling.

I AM NEVER COMING TO YOUR HOUSES FOR DINNER!!!