WWYD. Dad in hospital. Brother away.

[DarthRosenberg]

My DDad was taken to hospital today. It was scary for a few hours, but he is stable now and likely to get better pretty quickly.

My DB is away for a couple of weeks, very different timezone. I am mid text conversation with him, in that I should be replying to something he sent me about his trip. I don't have to, but it would seem a bit weird not to.

My DM isn't keen on me mentioning my dad's hospital stay so I don't ruin the holiday. She said it was ok if I think I need to, but she wasn't going to do it herself. I think if I reply, it would be so strange not to mention it and besides that I think he has the right to know.

I'd phrase it sensibly, no dramatics, but I guess what I'm asking is would you want to know while on a special trip? Would it ruin it?

I am sure I would want to know and we're both in our late 30s, so proper grown ups (more or less), and he is a sensible sort of guy.

When you say special trip, how special? Are we talking honeymoon or just a long haul holiday? If the former I would think seriously about telling not him, otherwise I would.

I would want to know.

Sorry , can't really help but hope he recovers soon.

No! Not honeymoon, a holiday, but a cool one, not run of the mill.

I would tell him.

"Dad got taken to hospital earlier, but he's fine. Had a panic but he's in no danger. So no inheritance yet :-)"

Thanks. He's well enough now to be worried about being bored, so I'm pretty sure he's on the road to recovery. It was one of those things that was scary, but surprisingly quick to recover from.

I would want to know but only you know your brother. Is he a calm logical person or very emotional?

Can you phone him if timezones allow rather than try to explain by text?

I would want to know.

Sorry your dad is unwell. I would give your DB the facts.

I would want to know and if deemed serious want to come home.
My dm died suddenly when my dsis was abroad on holiday, that call was the worst I've ever had to make.

More on the calm logical side, I would say.

I like "user" version.

'User's tone is certainly appropriate for our family dynamic!!

I'd tell him. User's suggestion keeps it light hearted so I'd go with that.

You have to. I would be p’d off if I didn’t hear about my DF being in hospital!

My DSis and I have been going through similar for a couple of years and know we have tough times ahead. We've agreed on never lying to each other but also encouraging each other to take time out. It works for us but we have to be honest with each other. Making light of things suits our dynamic.

I WOULDN'T tell him. What's the point? Your dad is going to be fine, so why potentially spoil your brother's trip by causing unnecessary worry? If your dad were in a serious or critical condition, then yes, tell him, but that's not the case.

Tell him when he gets back. Why bother him with this when there's nothing he can do.

I say tell him but keep it light

Tell him. My parents haven't told me in similar situations- twice it's happened- and I used to travel a lot with work and what it meant was if I was away and couldn't get through/didn't hear from them instead of thinking 'oh they must have nipped to tesco' I'd think 'oh god one of them is in hospital.'

Tell him now and you might put a slight damper on one day of his holiday until he's sure your dad is really ok. Don't tell him now and every future holiday he could have a small voice in his head wondering what might be happening at home.

Tell him. My family always tell each other stuff like this. Keep it light, move on safe in the knowledge that we'll be told of we need to come home. PILs are of the "don't worry each other" school of thought. As a result, DH and BIL don't trust them to be honest and often worry about them and about being away from them.

If he's the type to jump on the next plane home when you tell him then I wouldn't. If it means he's just going to ask you to keep him updated by text once a day I'd tell him.

I would definitely tell my siblings in this situation