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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is very rude of my friend?

29 replies

RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 12:57

Friend regularly texts or sends me a message through messenger. Her messages are always either asking me information about something she wants info about, or a long text about herself and what she's been up to. I will reply, either answering her question (for example if she's asked me for a lift somewhere), or replying in general to her message.

After reading my reply she will always reply with something along the lines of 'Got to go, really busy' or 'got to go now, so tired, need sleep', and that's the end of the conversation.

AIBU to think that she's fucking rude by always acting as though I'm hassling her or keeping her from her busy life when it's her that's contacted me?! AIBU also to just stop replying to her?

She is also the same in person; she waltzes up to me at the school gates, talks at me for a few minutes then said 'got to go', again as if it's me delaying her?

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 27/03/2019 12:59

It's her get out of jail card.

So next time, pre empt it.

"Hi Laura, yeah that's not really possible for me on that date. Got to go, really busy. Xx"

Or "Hi Laur, that sounds really shit for you. :( Will catch up properly soon when it's not so crazy here. Huge hugs. Xx"

SerenDippitty · 27/03/2019 13:00

I know what you mean it's like when people say "I won't keep you" to end a conversation.

AllMYSmellySocks · 27/03/2019 13:01

I don't think "got to go" necessarily implies that you're delaying her busy life, just that she literally needs to go so can't stay and chat. The bit that maybe sounds a bit annoying is that she doesn't ask you about yourself, basically just offloads her stuff or asks a favour then disappears.

Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 13:02

Good suggestions, Elspeth! I'll give those a go!

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 27/03/2019 13:09

Let us know how it goes! Take back the power!

(Oh and fundamentally revise this one way street of a crap friendship)

BlueMerchant · 27/03/2019 13:09

I had a 'friend' like this who would send a long text telling me mundane things and I would reply and comment on what she had put but whenever I mentioned what I was doing she would reply 'Ok' and totally shut down. Sooo used to p* me off.
I started replying 'Ok' and she soon got the hint and doesn't text as much now. Great!!!
Next time she texts just reply 'Ok- got to go'.

Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 13:11

I bet she will hate it when I start telling her I've got to go! People like her always hate being treated the way that they treat others...

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 27/03/2019 13:15

That's why the saccharine send-off is a crucial part. People can't get properly pissed off at someone who is all "Got to go but keep your chin up, hun. Thinking of you xxxxx"

(Like fuck you're thinking of her, let's be real)

It's a sickingly sweet weapon! GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 13:16

Haha that's very true!

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 27/03/2019 13:20

If she messages for a lift on a Friday, reply to her on Saturday - 'just seeing this message now, hope you got sorted, chat soon'. If she replies to that ignore for another day ...

BlueMerchant · 27/03/2019 13:22

I also started sending the odd thumbs up emoji instead of putting 'Ok'. That'll really p her off!

pootyisabadcat · 27/03/2019 13:23

What Elspeth said, with bells on! I'd stop giving her lifts.

Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 13:23

Haha that's a good idea too @BlueMerchant

OP posts:
Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 13:24

And yep, definitely no more lifts for her.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/03/2019 13:25

She sounds very self absorbed. Some people are, the more you give the more they take. Time to step back OP.

Tinkobell · 27/03/2019 13:28

He he...my older DSis does this. Whenever you ring she's always busy - huffing and puffing, sounds massively distracted and bored. I don't take it to heart, I just rarely call her.

Ellenborough · 27/03/2019 13:34

Start opening her messages so she can see you’ve read them but take a day or two to respond. Or open them and respond with ‘sorry too busy to think about this at the moment, I’ll get back to you.’ And leave it for a day or two.

GabsAlot · 27/03/2019 13:54

you must be friends with my dsis op-always just goes into one about hnerself or if she wants something never just asks how i am or what ive been up to

im used to it now but i would hate to be her friend

SeventhWave · 27/03/2019 14:11

I had a friend like this - if I didn't contact her I'd get snide remarks about how friends were supposed to keep in touch with one another etc etc, and if I did call her then she'd be too busy to talk.

MyFavouriteDress1 · 27/03/2019 14:30

I end conversations like that. It's just a way to end them. Otherwise, how do you know the conversation has ended? Maybe I lack social skills.

Excited101 · 27/03/2019 14:53

This is my DSis on the phone- can be an hour long conversation, no questions to me at all sometimes, at the end she’s ‘got to go now hun’ 🙄

Original poster
RunAlexRun · 27/03/2019 17:39

Glad it's not just me with a rude friend! She has actually sent me a text this afternoon but I'm just going to ignore it for now.

OP posts:
Ruru8thestars · 27/03/2019 17:42

Good

pootyisabadcat · 27/03/2019 17:44

Good! Stop pandering to her. Answer her back the way Elspeth recommends and stop doing her favours. She's a user.

maddening · 27/03/2019 17:47

Perhaps she always ended up in long text convos as everyone is too polite to put an end to it?

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