WWYD in this situation?

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

So, a couple go to bed at the same time most nights, together, and usually watch 30-60 mins of TV in bed before turning it off and going to sleep.

In general, person A likes this set up, but person B doesn't particularly.

Tonight, person B said they feel tired, and wanted to not watch TV. Person A wants to watch it as usual.

Who is BU in this scenario?

Just get him to watch tv on his phone/tablet with ear phones. Remove big tv from the bedroom.

Agree bed is for sleeping but a bit of tv sometimes is nice. Not every night.

If he doesn't like the small screen he can get wireless headphones for the tv.

DH and I both like to watch TV, we just don't like the same shows! He goes to bed with the chickens (and his shows) I go to bed later after watching mine. I creep into bed after he's asleep and quietly change the channel and set the sleep timer.

I'd be really tempted to wake him up now and tell him that he's snoring really loudly and keeping you awake (regardless of whether or not he's snoring ) - I know it's petty but I'm guessing it will also be satisfying...

I would also tell him that from here on in, given that you both want to do different things at bedtime, that you get to alternate so that you get an equal number of nights doing things your own and each other's way. See if he'd prefer to alternate every other day or every other week and then every time thereafter that he moans when it's not his night point out that he has expected you to suffer going to bed the 'wrong' way for you for years (?) so that he should consider himself bloody lucky that you have offered him the compromise starting when it did, rather than saying that it is your turn for the next few years. Also - if he is suffering and complaining then why does he think it is ok for him not to suffer but for you to have to go along with him, rather than share equally or does he think that he is more deserving? And then watch him squirm as he tries to word it so that he can square wanting to have it his way all the time but making it sound like it's fair to you too...

Separate bedrooms is the only thing that saved our marriage....

What would happen if you just said you can’t put up with it anymore and the tv has to go? Would he just ignore you?

We have a tv in our room and DH watches it with wireless headphones if I want to sleep (connects over wi fi or something or other)
Would that be an option?

Ooh, too much "we" in there for me - is there a requirement that you go to bed at the same time, and get up at the same time, that I don't know about? The only reason I'd have a tv in the bedroom is if I was immobile/sick, it's just not conducive to a good night's sleep. Waking you up unnecessarily in the morning is bang out of order.

Two people with different needs and body clocks can't help that, but they can show some consideration and compromise, and there are several sensible solutions to this. I hope you can reach one before you end up throttling him, sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture!

My DP likes to listen to audiobooks and when I tell him to turn it off he says he needs it to sleep, so I say use headphones so then he says I should get used to it, it'll help me too.

Er, no, I say, I want quiet when I sleep. Then we row and he says what is it like to be so strong all the time and always right.

Just because I don't want to listen to an audiobook about Donald Trump.

It's controlling.

Can he not listen to the radio or music or audiobooks or something through headphones to fall asleep to, instead of having the TV on? I dated someone2.5years ago who had to have the TV on, I hated it but I'm always the last up anyway and I read, so I was able to put up with it. It was also only ever nature shows so they weren't intense programs

@Crunched you're honestly the first one I've ever come across – I honestly was starting to believe it was some kind of men-only social conditioning thing! I wonder if you're the exception that proves the rule... :)

watch the TV on the smart fone and with a decent pair of headphones or earphones and keep the brighness and volume down!.

@rosablue : were you Machiavelli in another life?

This is why TVs dont belong in bedrooms

"muuuum,dad?"

This is not good. Please get your thread moved to relationships. Report your OP to mumsnet and ask that it be moved to the relationships board.

Why and how does he wake you up?

What else does he do that makes you feel this:

I feel like I'm worth nothing to him

We have this set up, A has to watch tv downstairs in this situation because the living room is open for TV all hours. The bedroom is for sleeping.

"I do it for DH because I know he likes to fall asleep with background noise"

So presumably he falls asleep then you switch tv off as you are still awake? He must know this - he's taking the piss OP.

I'm with the "FUCK OFF AND IF YOU WAKE ME EARLY AGAIN I'LL THROW YOU OUT A WINDOW" brigade. That is just SO unreasonable! And the TV in the bedroom is also unreasonable by the way. The two together - that's past the line for me.
Or how about: "if you can't let me get enough sleep you have to move out"?

I'm failing to understand the whole TV thing. I thought the blue light was supposed to interrupt sleep.

@JaneEyre07 I had restless legs in pregnancy and kicked DH in the night. I honestly couldn't help it. It was such a horrible horrible condition, I just used to cry. Low potassium - a banana every day, magnesium spray to rub into the legs and an iron supplement. You'll see a drastic difference within a week

Urgh. You need your own room...I've got one and it's heaven, all clean and tidy and snore free!

Falling asleep with a screen on is considered a big no-no in the world of ‘sleep hygiene’. Bad for the quality of sleep that night, and long term health problems are a risk. Show person A the research.

Go up earlier and try sex instead? Else it’s seperate bedrooms. I wouldn’t stand for it. It’s bad for everyone, and a bit insulting, actually.

People who 'need' the TV to fall asleep need to train themselves to sleep without it, just like you sleep train dc.. It's bad for everyone. Your dh needs to change, op, not you.

The TV moved out of DH's bedroom when I moved in. I hate screens in bedrooms.

But along with the waking you up early, this sounds much worse. Is he controlling, abusive?

Just to clarify, he doesn't wake me up early on purpose. He's naturally an early riser but I struggle to sleep sometimes so whether he gets up or stays in bed, it always tends to wake me up.

Thank you for all your replies. I feel much better after a sleep, I think I was being a bit melodramatic last night but I blame the tiredness 😁

I'll just be counting down the days until we move and can have a spare bed and room to store a spare quilt in case it happens again!

For what it's worth, we did talk about it this morning and he had his reasons for being a pain last night, so we're all okay now.

Hate TV in bedroom.