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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset with ds

89 replies

Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:23

He is at college and like alot of 18 year old likes to go out spending with his mates.
He was having trouble finding a job but then did a retail job for a while but got fed up of never getting a day off and it was interfering with his social life I know what people on here will think oh that's life etc and so do I.
Anyway I made him come down a agency office with me and they got him a job between Monday and Thursday on nights but only until 1am at the latest seemed so ideal for him and he accepted it.
Last night was his first shift and I had to go with him yesterday to get safety shoes in preparation he was in a foul mood all around the shops saying I don't want this job I don't want to go swearing etc I kept my cool and said we will get the shoes in case. Fast forward to time to leave for shift and he has a meltdown because he had forget he needed a fleece jacket so he stormed off to his room and didn't go.
Please go easy on me because I'm really upset abt all this.

I

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:26

He was meant to call and book this first shift but took his time and had a attitude abt it apparently according to him the agency called him and he said they where rude to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:27

His dad is refusing to subsidise him any longer and I can't afford to keep doing it

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 26/03/2019 10:28

Would he be working until 1am four nights a week in addition to college? I do think that's a bit much tbh.

His attitude stinks but then again I don't know how much pressure he's under so it might be more understandable if he's stressed.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:30

He only needed to do a couple.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:30

He kept on saying he was gonna be working with a load of rough necks and chavs

OP posts:
SweetAsSpice · 26/03/2019 10:31

How many days and hours is he at college?

He is 18, legally an adult. If he doesn't want to earn his own money, and you can't afford to keep subsidising him, then stop. He will quickly learn!

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:31

He had to pass a 3 hour assessment to work there and he passed easy

OP posts:
AllStar14 · 26/03/2019 10:32

Do you give him money for his social life? If you do, stop. He needs to realise that in order to have a social life he needs to work to earn money for it.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:32

Hours at college are full time more or less

OP posts:
Sicario · 26/03/2019 10:34

Close the mum cashpoint. Stop giving him money. When he starts demanding, tell him to go and shake the money tree.

You don't earn? You don't eat.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:35

I'm not sure what's going on with him
He had a exam yesterday and said he thinks he failed and he couldn't get tickets to a Wembley game with his mates so I don't know if that had any bearing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:36

Sure as hell don't know what the agency must be thinking because they where not informed.

OP posts:
c24680 · 26/03/2019 10:40

That seems like long hours as well as college.

Does he get any money for going to college?

FooFighter99 · 26/03/2019 10:42

You need to stop babying him. He is an adult and you are doing him no favours!

It's time he grew up, if he wants money for going out with his mates then he'll have to earn it.

He's going to end uo living with you till he's 30 if you don't teach him some responsibility

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:43

He would just need to do 2 four hour shifts a week from 8.30pm until 12.30am.
We get child tax credit and child benefit that's it.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 26/03/2019 10:45

4 nights until 1am is not a suitable job for an 18 year old in full time education. It's his responsibility to find a job that is suitable though.

Drogosnextwife · 26/03/2019 10:48

What is the job OP?

JenniferJareau · 26/03/2019 10:55

4 nights until 1am is not a suitable job for an 18 year old in full time education.

This ^^

He should get anther job though. You need to stop subsidising him.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:55

Parcel loading he didn't have to do 4 nights he only had to do 2

OP posts:
NutElla5x · 26/03/2019 10:55

Ideally an 18yr old student should have a part time job, but do you really expect him to work 4 nights a week until 1am and be able to function properly at college too?!!
I encourage my college age kids to get a job,but don't force. However apart from paying their fares to and from College I do not help them out with money in any way,so if they want anything they have to work really.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:56

He has applied for loads of jobs but nobody gets back to him.

OP posts:
lablablab · 26/03/2019 10:57

I did 30 hours a week in a supermarket when I was at full time college and then again when I went to university. My parents simply couldn't afford to give me any money.

I worked hard, I survived and I did well.

He's 18. He's needs to do a job of some kind! He needs to take some responsibility for himself.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 10:57

Again he didn't have to work 4 of them

OP posts:
thefirst48 · 26/03/2019 10:59

If he wants money he will need to find a job simple. Close the bank of mum and dad.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/03/2019 11:00

I honestly don't know what to do with him. First job was weekends in retail £4.20 an hour he was popular with all the staff and did okay with the job but he moaned abt the pittance money and lack of social life.

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