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Original poster

children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

1001 replies

haychee · 11/07/2007 10:46

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

OP posts:
winestein · 12/07/2007 15:04

LOVE the citation and absolutely PMSL at Pagwatch's precis

winestein · 12/07/2007 15:05

Oooh,

Ooooh,

nearly forgot.

Haychee,

YABU

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:07

Dogs should be on a lead not kids!

After dogs have just licked another dogs a*se and then comes and licks me or my kids, why should we have to put up with it?

Im scared stiff, after being bitten myself, and seeing my sister mauled by 2 alsatians when she was younger it is hardly surprising. Both dogs, the owners claimed, "completely out of character"....but that is what they all say.

Recently had a mums get together....didnt realise the host had a dog...I immediately told the host as she opened the door that I was terrified..usual reply, "wouldnt hurt a fly". Went to get my toddler out of the car who became hysterical. Lifted her higher and was told not to lift my arms else it would jump at me... Then the dog was removed. Was told that would only remove dog from the house for scared kids, not parents.....

I cant help it if I am scared of dogs, and impossible to hide my fear. I have not been in the presence of a dog not on a lead when with my daughter so dont think I have passed on my fear. But give us a break, age has nothing to do with it. Cant help it if you are frightened of them, and dog owners shoud respect that and have the manners to remove them.

BocoBeak · 12/07/2007 15:08

I have this ongoing row with my step mother. I won't take my dds to stay there if the dogs are not in kennels. She says i'm being unreasonable as my children will grow up afraid of dogs. BUT - they have KILLED their own 2 cats, a neighbours cat, a small dog, and a fecking SHEEP! They are huge, dangerous, out of control freak dogs that should be muzzled at all times. No WAY they are going anywhere near my children. NOWAY HOSE!

my friends came for new year and bought their jack russel who went for both dds, and ate their new farm they'd got for xmas. BAD DOG.

Anyway, not really read the thread actually, but it was recommended as a calming read.

zookeeper · 12/07/2007 15:10

You were terrified...your toddler was terrified

It's not brain surgery is it?

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:10

haychee,
why should the child have to learn how to cope with children, and not the other way around? I.e leave people alone unless they come up to the dog?

MrsSid · 12/07/2007 15:10

Interesting topic, this one.
I think that the problem is not the dogs, but the irresponsible owners.
If you know that your dog is not good with children, or it won't come back to you immediately when called, then it should not be off the lead in a public place where children may be found.
My DS age 4 is scared of most dogs, mainly large ones, which is understandable because they are head height and many of our friends dogs tend to lick! My DD age 20 months loves all animals but does get a little concerned when a large dog is close, for the same reason - just the size of them compared to her.
However, my DH and I don't like that the children are scared of dogs. We have both had dogs (many of them rescued ones, with issues) right up until just before children arrived. We plan to get another dog later this year to try to stop the fear/concerns our DS and DD have. It won't be a puppy, but it will be chosen carefully to have the right personality and be well trained/trainable (not for how it looks or what breed it is).
Also, I think that children should be taught to ask owners if it is OK to touch a dog first, and should definitely not be taught to run away screaming (as I've witnessed on many occassions). Then there would be no problem with dogs getting scared of children either, and therefore nipping them, etc.

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:10

haychee, (last one mistyped)
why should the child have to learn how to cope with dogs, and not the other way around? I.e leave people alone unless they come up to the dog?

zookeeper · 12/07/2007 15:11

irresponsible owners and hysterical mothers.

Don't know which are worse.

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:14

My child spends 4 days a week with a child minder who isnt afraid of dogs as she used to have one....so it isnt as obvious rocket science as you make out....she encourages my child to like dogs....my husband isnt afraid of dogs....by my child still frightened regardless as to who is with them.

pagwatch · 12/07/2007 15:14

Winestein

DAMMIT! precis not precise !

ruty · 12/07/2007 15:14

dogs don't just nip because they are scared. they nip for a variety of reasons.

And if you've seen your sister mauled by german shepherds, my guess is that is completely understandable that you'd be wary of having your child around strange dogs. FGS.

Sorry, what i meant was PAAAAAARP. [short but satisfying]

barbamama · 12/07/2007 15:15

I'm not in the slightest bit scared of dogs, but my 2 year old is if one 3 times as big as he is comes running up to him at great speed while he is sitting in the sand pit and frankly I don't blame him. Luckily where I live most dog owners are more responsible than that and control their dogs properly. If they see him looking scared they either move them away if the dogs are not suitable for children or come over and confirm that they are friendly and can be patted in which case I let him pat them and he develops a healthy attitude to dogs. Would you prefer I left him sitting there and let a dog that I have no knowledge of possibly attack him? Seems like a good system to me and works well for reasonable people - can't see the need for all the debate.

barbamama · 12/07/2007 15:18

And, I might add, that if parents encourage children to view all dogs as friendly automatically the child will soon get bitten or attacked as some dogs don't like being mauled by children, as happenned to a friend of mine's child the other day.

Original poster
haychee · 12/07/2007 15:19

HEB7
The dogs always leave others alone unless invited or told to go over by me. My dogs were minding their own business 5metres away. They DID not run up and jump up at this child or its mother.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 12/07/2007 15:20

ROFL !

LittleLupin · 12/07/2007 15:21

By zookeeper on Thu 12-Jul-07 15:11:27
irresponsible owners and hysterical mothers.

Don't know which are worse.

Well, hysterical mothers don't generally maul children .

You will undoubtedly call this bitchy, but what a stupid comment.

Original poster
haychee · 12/07/2007 15:21

barabarama
No, teach children to be wary and teach them to be calm around any animal not this screaming and running that i see so much. Its totally the wrong thing to do. It draws the dogs attention which is not wanted and it looks like they peopleare attracting his attention because they want to play.

OP posts:
zookeeper · 12/07/2007 15:23

No they don't maul children but they may well unnecessarily instill a lifelong fear in a child .

Original poster
haychee · 12/07/2007 15:24

Ah but hysterical mothers are actually drawing the unwanted attention from a possible face mauling dog. And encouraging their children to also act in this way simply be copying what they see their mother do.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 12/07/2007 15:24

Hatchee.
please can I come and visit and see these hoards of screaming hysterical mothers ( not in the rap sense of course).
Perhaps I can then watch as you teach my child with virtually no communication skills to understand that bounding dog with Haychee is good - Bounding dog with strange man is bad.

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:24

Little Lupin: Thu 12-Jul-07 15:21:29

Here here! Well said!

zookeeper · 12/07/2007 15:24

Oh now I understand. I'm stupid you see

HEB7 · 12/07/2007 15:25

Haychee
Sorry, but you are outvoted on this...

zookeeper · 12/07/2007 15:26

Where are all tthese vicious dogs anyway? You lot make a walk in the park sound like a safari lol. It's a wonder you dare open yoyr front doors.

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