children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

What sort of dog walking area is it?

I think dog owners should look after their animals and keep them on leads in public places. A dog is bloody scary to a child - a labrador is bigger than a toddler. Let alone the risk that even a previously well-behaved dog can have an off-day.

Having said that, my sister's ex-rescue dog used to stray - he'd escape to go off and have adventures. Could jump a six foot wall so tricky to stop him doing it. He was alsation size and very friendly so would go up to kids. Obviously some children were wary of him so if we were with him, we'd call him away before he got too close and check if the children were happy to play with him.

Dogs should be on a lead in a public place. End of.

I've mentioned this on MN before but when ds1 was very small (about 2) I was pushing him in his buggy through the local park and an enormous boxer dog bounded up to us , jumped up, put its paws on his knees, and proceeded to lick and slobber all over his face. He was completely hysterical and I didn't dare grab the dog's collar to pull it away in case it bit him.

The dog's owner (who initially was nowhere to be seen) was calling the dog and it was taking no notice. When she eventually caught up with her dog she uttered that all time classic dog owner's line "oh, he needn't be upset - she loves children, she wouldn't have hurt him."

So my ds - who previously had not been scared of dogs - was now terrified of them. He's still very wary of them - and even a year ago, aged 9, cried after a huge dog chased him, barking its head off, when he was running in the park. Again owner called the dog back - again it took no notice.

I don't like dogs but I didn't make him scared of dogs - irresponsible dog ownners did that.

thunder cant hurt you

dogs can

end of story.

dogs should be on leads especially if they are likely to run up to greet people. I actually think you are being unreasonable. Of couse a mother will pick up their child if their child is frightened, natural instinct.

I grew up with dogs and am not afraid of them but i do not like it when dogs bound up to greet/sniff etc. Our dogs ould walk off the lead, they wouldnt run up to people and they walked close to us unless playing fetch etc.

Too often I see poorly trained dogs jumping all over people and out of control of their owners.

you can't "dull the fear" if a creature as tall as you comes running at you in an uncontrolled way. I don't mind dogs but my daughters are a bit scared of them. I tell them the kind of signs to look for which tell them whether a dog is happy/angry and that it's only trying to get to know them if it's licking them. but tbh I do wish dogowners would take more responsibility esp round toddlers/babies.

I'm with KB on this one. I dislike dogs, and always have done, and I'm from the school of thought that they should be on a lead in a public place. I resent having to restrain children to enable dogs to run free.

Whether or not any harm is likely, some of us just don't share a dog owner's love for their pets and their furry friends, and really feel uncomfortable when dog owners take personal offence that I don't want anything to do with them. People don't get upset if we don't like their choice in shoes or cars - yet many dog owners seem to see we dog rejecters as a personal challenge. My own DH had dogs as a child, and can be a bit like this, and it really irritates me.

From the safety angle, this has been done to death, but... YOU may be certain that your pooches are lovely friendly chappies, but I can't tell them from the majority of less-than-perfectly-controlled dogs that roam parks. A thunder storm isn't ever going to rip your daughter's face off. A dog might.

In answer to the inevitable "mine are beautifully behaved and wouldn't hurt a fly" comments, from what I can see, and from the plethora of "It's me or the dog", "Dog Borstal" stuff on TV, there are sadly more dogs that are not fully under control than there are obedient ones. I'm sure that there are many reasons for this - including the scary tendency of some owners to use their dogs as surrogate and very spoiled children, or the more thuggish tendency who like their dog to be as hard (ie feral) as they perceive themselves to be. Either way, I don't want them near my children.

And with that said, a dog in friendly mode is not necessarily to everyone's taste either - I'm just not into any slobber or jumping up or sniffing that isn't coming from my children. (and I'm not even too fond of that, at times!)

My DD (2.7) knows never to touch a dog unless I have said that she may. At the moment they do freak her out, but so do a lot of other things.

Annner

why should i npt my children to the park because there might be a dog there? Surely that is just playing to the fear?

What gives you the right to be cross with scared children (and/or parents who are scared for their children)??

How do you know what those children or parents have gone through before?

There are parks which have dogs-only areas - use those if you want to go lead-less.

I grew up with a dog. She was a lovely, gentle thing, however, we DID NOT allow her to wander up to small children if at all possible, and if she did get too close, we called / took her away. I TOTALLY understand why some children (and their parents) are scared of dogs. I think any responsible dog owner has to respect the fact that not everyone is comfortable around dogs.

Strangely, despite always being a dog lover, I developed a strong fear of dogs when I was pregnant with my son and it has never realy gone away. I cross the street to avoid them, and although I am happy for my son to be in the supervised presence of family dogs (he loves his grandad's dog, for example), I don't feel happy about him playing with or even touching strange dogs in the park. I hope I am not sending the message that 'all dogs are frightening creatures' - more that it is probably best to be cautious around animals, especially those you don't know.

It depends on the public place - when i am walking on a six mile hike in the country I always get some idiot scowling because the dog is chasing a ball/stick.

I won't go along with the idea that everywhere out of doors is a public place - my lovely dog has just as much right to bounce in the woods as the next person.

I keep him on a lead in what I consider is a public space - local parks, round towns etc.

And it makes me sad to see parents enouraging fear of dogs - one woman told her daughter (dog on lead as in park) 'walk over there, we don't like dogs in our family'

you would have to have a massive garden to keep a springer for example happy

I'm all for dog walkng parks lets make half our parks dog walking and half no dogs like beaches keeps every one happy

I believe if you have a dog it should be well trained this should be compulsory my dog is looked after like a member of my family it has every hing it needs to be healthy jabs, proper food and long walks in the park with freedom to run

Blimey. Only two replies when I started that.

In answer, I think that YABU.

laurie well said I wouldnt take my dog to a childrens park/ small park either or a picnic area but out in the sticks yes and she would be off a lead

i love dogs...although i have never owned one...i have no natural fear of them on the whole etc...im a fan!

my ds however has always always loved dogs in theory...in books,photos etc and he likes to talk about them etc...but in real life he can be quite terrified by them...particularly the lively ones (small or large)..he would look like he was losing the plot to you...he would shake uncontrollably and may even scream.

i try to show a positive reaction to the dogs that we meet..but if he is scared i pick him up and acknowledge that he is scared ...cos it is alright to have those feelings.how can it not be?...he's three and on eye level with something unpredicatble to him.tbh when i see little children who arent scared atall i think its amazing!!

his confidence is emerging...over time.

i have never had reason to ask an owner to put their dog on a lead...but if an owner saw my sons distress and did nothing i would be scared by their lack of compassion....and then not trust their dog.

some owners are so so lovely and try so hard to ingratiate their dogs...but my son still wriggles in my arms and shows real fear!

time will tell

My dogs are very well trained and i think this is obvious when they are walking off the lead. They dont run over and jump up at people or children they dont actually even take much notice unless there is another dog with the family. I call them back to me as soon as i get the impression that the children are fightened and they always do what they are told. But i still get the looks and comments from the parents. There are several local parks where dogs must stay on a lead and then there are parks where they dont. Why would you take a child that is petrified of dogs to a park where there are numerous dogs running about off the lead - it just baffles me. I know what you mean about dogs that are poorly tained i fully appreciate that, i certainly wouldnt be happy for a dog to trample all over my picnic stuff.

it is difficult because both dogs and children like to run around in parks and open spaces. i used to have a dog and would never let him go near small children, doesn't matter that he wouldn't hurt them, he might knock one over and horrible for them if they're already scared. in fact very sensible to be scared of wolves who are bigger than you.

i went to a park recently and teenage boys had an drooling monster dog tied to the swings so ds and i ran around the park, they stayed in the play area.

parks are for people before dogs IMO, I pay taxes to my council for my park for my children to play in, to not go in case of dogs is a bit much haychee!

My dog is so ridiculously soft when we took him to see our god children (aged 1) they were putting wotsits in his mouth and taking them out and eating them

You have never seen a dog want to go home so much as mine that day

haychee - you said in you first post that you call the dogs away.. therefore they do run up!

yes your dog should be on a lead

so what if some kids are frightened of dogs? its up to you to control your dog, not parents to educate their children for your benefit.

Another inflammatory thread from you haychee, you must really love this

"Why would you take a child that is petrified of dogs to a park where there are numerous dogs running about off the lead - it just baffles me."

Because parks are for people and dogs should be on leads.

YABU. Parks are public places intended for people, not dogs. If a creature that was three times the size of you bounded over, how would you react? And parents are not psychic, how are they supposed to know that your dogs are friendly and wouldn't hurt a child? Plenty would. I have given plenty of dog owners hard stares for letting their dog too close to my DS in his pushchair, and if one ever touched him I'm not sure who I would attack first, the dog or its owner.