children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

pagwatch earlier today we had cleared up our differences we agreed. Now i am talking to someone else you are going to misunderstand what im saying at this moment.

Hey ho I will continue to walk my dog and keep him well away from the hysterics as always.

I will let him shit in the woods though

sorry Haychee not Hatchee

I think I should bring my son over to you anyway . He would be good for you . He is echolaic. I'm sure you know what that means ( being a nurse) but it would be heaven. I say to him "you are so beautiful" and he says "you are so beautiful"
You could say " you are always right in all your opinions and are amazonian in you determination to defeat the unnatural forces of the mumsnet bitchfest"
Ok - that might be a bit complicated.
I will start when he gets home - "you are right, you are right, you are brave and strong..." Give me a month. I'm sure we will all still be here.

Ahh it is keeping me distracted from missing him

all
if you dont want a dogs attention do not shout or scream or run at the same time. It will only encourage the dogs attention. If you teach your child (not with autism) to do the same by simply demonstration then you will find you are going to get more attention from dogs, that you have all made it perfectly clear, you do not want.
It really isnt that hard to understand. Have some respect for all animals not just dogs. Teach your children the correct way to react to animals whether it be horses, dogs or cats or whatever.

Haychee

I repeat, I am not scared of dogs and am never hysterical in front of my child. I teach him to be wary of dogs as, I think you will be forced to agree, there have been many, many instances of children being maimed or killed by SOME dogs. My friend however, was badly mauled by a dog as a child and so possibly is slightly hysterical when a strange dog comes running over to her (with or without her children) because she has a lifelong fear of dogs due to her own particular life experiences. These things happen, get over it. Not everyone you encounter in the street will like your dogs as much as you do.

so what do I do if Im sat there doing nothing and it comes bounding over and jumping on me?

You acknowledged that ASD kids would be scared and that you would not know that they are ASD and yet you are still judging people scared of your dogs as "hysterical" even when you know absoloutely nothing about them.
I apologised because you acknowledged that there are kids like mine out there but it seems to have altered YOUR preconceptions one jot.
I still regard your basic premis as ridiculous and your inability to actually EMBRACE any one elses point of view as bizarre. You don't debate - which requires listening and conceeding and reviewing - you seem to want to fight - you seem to want to always be right and you seem to regard yourself as heroic in doing so.

There is a difference between brave and beligerent.

Zookeeper

Exactly, you keep them away until it becomes clear whether the dogs attention is welcome or not. That is all any one is asking. i teach my children to do exactly the same to a dog. Mutual respect.

I've never said otherwise Barabara

But haycee children do all those things - at the same time - and not just because they've seen a dog. Perhaps we should just not take the kids to the park at all and then you can get on with enjoying your dogs. Sorted.

barbamama

Remain calm. And speak quietly to the owner if the owner doesnt admit they had poor control and apologise, report them!
90% of dogs do just want to say hello, they are not all bad. If you dont want to be approached by a dog off the lead at all, then only go to areas where there is strict no dogs off leads policies. Unfortunately though having said that, there are owners who disobey these rules - this i think is appauling! They need to be reported too. Put the dog wardens number in your mobile and call them instantly.

Zookeeper I know, that is my point - YANBU as a dog owner, others are, in my opinion.

And back we come to the beginning.

If you go to a place where there are children playing you should put your dog on a lead not expect the children to go elsewhere.

saggermaker
Im referring to the kids who are pointing their fear towards a dog. Im not talking about the ones laughing and playing and taking no notice of the dogs. Its when they keep looking and screaming and running that a dog presumes this means i want to play. If approached by a dog and the child does not like it, they cry and scream and jump and then run, and the dog follows. If approached by a dog and they ignore it the dog looses interest and wanders off.

But there are areas that are deignated as no dogs off leads for this very reason so people can choose what they have to put up with. If this is not available in your area then maybe you should do something about that.

Rofl ( actually my dog makes that noise)

Really must go - must go - must go

Would you all prefer a dog chased your child or that it wandered off?
Its quite simple, if you dont want a dogs attention do not scream and shout.

So can your dogs tell the difference between children screaming in fun and screaming in fear? Can they tell the difference between children running around and children running away?

And some dogs give you 'attention' even when you aren't screaming or shouting.

To answer the OP directly, because some selfish owners think the sun shines out of their pampered pooches backside and they let them jump, lick, run around everywhere. I love dogs, as do my children and I have never perpetuated any fears I may have of anything onto them. Humans are naturally wary of something different to them, especially if it is much larger.

I am sure your dogs are lovely and well mannered but because unfortunately you have been tarred with the same brush as the less responsible owners.

IMO all dogs should be trained properly so that they sit when told and do not move. They should walk to heel if not on a lead. They should come when called. If a dog doesn't do all of these things then it shouldn't be off a lead when there are children around. My schoolfriend had a huge German Shepherd and her father insisted that they all go to dog training sessions as there was no way they were owning a dog like that if it could not be controlled. It was the best trained dog I've ever encountered.

It's simpler than that Haychee.

Don't allow your dog's attention to be caught by anyone else. At the end of the day it is your responsibility to do so. If you do so, it will avoid any future "hysterics" and your need to bleat about it on Mumsnet as though you are the injured party.

This is pointless. I can't be bothered amymore. I am off to take my son to the park where, thankfully, there is no need for barbed wire fences segregating the dogs from the children as, the local dog owners know to keep there dogs away from children. Unless you are saying that dogs are so dangerous that they should be segregated in which case now you really are contradicting yourself.

all dog owners should have to go to compulsory training classes. This thread proves it beyond doubt.
Lets see, what is more important, the rights of children or the rights of dogs....

Hmmmm....

Do you think there is a dogsnet?

Hi I just wondered how many people have read the dangerous dog act???????????

I have it states that any dog off of it's lead is deemed as dangerous regardless of breed or size. It also states that in places ALL dogs must be restrainted unless is a designated dog area.
I have also seen first hand how much damage a dog can do. Thankfully not to a child but ti my neighbours cat. IT picked it u andv through it around like a rag doll killing it with multiple injuries. The owner said afterwards that the dog had always been so quite and calm and would never hurt a fly.