children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

thankyou playmummy another excellent response. As you dont have the luxury of the choice of the type of park you can go to, i believe you are doing exactly the right thing, teach your children to be wary but also calm around dogs or any animal for that matter.

Thankyou funkimummy, yes i do realise there are situations when it is required to put the dogs back on the leads, and i do quite frequently, it is not (some of you may find this hard to beleive) go out of my way to terrify every child in my way.
But i do come accross this type of absolute over-reaction sometimes, it is not a single incident. If the dogs are around with lots of other dogs off leads in a permitted area, i still am faced with obnoxious (?sp) parents. After reading here i now see that this is down to those irresponsible owners and they have ruined it for the rest of us.

and I'm faced with obnoxious dog owners everytime I go to the park (icluding a supposed dog-free one). Nice and considerate you are.

This is appauling bunny you should report it to the authorities if there are dogs running loose in an area where it is not permitted.

noone to report it too - no park keepers any omre. Ds is terrified of dogs since being jumped on by 2 huge ones last year (completely out of control and I'd happily have shot the irresponsible owner). Unfortunately the 2 places ds was confident to go on his bike (the cemetery and a dog-free park) are both used by dog walkers so ds wont go there. It makes me so bloody angry hence my general dislike of all things canine.

Bunny, what about your local council?

Our local park doesn't have any park keepers either and we have to go to the local council if we wish to complain about dog-walkers.

There was a big campaign here last year......not that it did much

The local council i would of thought would be where to go to report these offences. Im sure you are not the only one who feels the same. If enough of you complained then they would have to do something. Maybe the local newspaper could help?

Yes, I should at least let them know. They might do something but I doubt it. We also have (large) dogs at the school gates and I have seen dogs on leads in the fenced off children's play area at the park. I know most dog owners are fine but some are so inconsiderate and it can ruin a day out for ds. He recently badly hurt his elbow when he fell of his bike after a dog came running across his path in a dog-free area.

going back to original point, I enourage ds to stroke dogs if the owner says it is ok. With encouragemnt he will pat a small dog if it is on a lead. I dont want to encourage his fear but I know the fear is genuine and I do acknowledge it.

bunny, my SIL (far more militant than me) lives on the coast and if she takes her children to one of the dog-free beaches and there are dogs there, she sits in her car and calls the dog warden on her mobile (repeatedly if neccessary) til they come and ask the people to remove their dogs.

Have a look at your local council's website and see if there is a number for the dog warden (I rang ours a few months ago when a dog kept crapping outside our front door).

local newspaper - good idea. I have always wanted to write a "disgruntled of Bournemouth" letter. Now's my chance.

do they have dog wardens? I like the sound of that but I have never seen one. (if they reintroduced dog licences they could fund loads of wardens)

Oh I've never seen one - but they do exist. After I rang ours a little sign appeared on a lamp-post warning of fines for allowing your dog to foul the street (shame dogs can't read...)

I believe my SIL is on first name terms with hers though

bunny
In your letters of complaint please be sure to add that there should be adequate provision for those who do and those who dont like dogs. Is only fair for people like me.

just called the council (this is a subject close to my heart! I am normally apathetic). The dog warden didnt even know there were dog-free zones!!! I am waiting for someone from the parks dept to call back!

Haychee, I appreciate dogs need somewhere to go and be walked. I also know a majority of ownwers are responsibe and when I do write a letter I shall say that.

this thread has brought me out of hiding - havent posted in months!!

I dont think there is actually entirely dog free zones, its more that dogs must remain on leads at all times in certain designated areas.

There are beaches which are dog free in the summer months - one near my mother, for instance. She tells dog owners who somehow miss the massive great notices if she sees them walking their dogs, and there are dog wardens who patrol from time to time. Mostly, though, the ban is respected, and it really does make a difference. It means a cleaner beach and more peaceful picnics!

It is possible, isn't it, for dogs to be trained not to go and sniff at other people's food? So why don't all dog owners do it (train their dogs not to, I mean )

That could be possible but would be very hard - dogs are trained mostly with the use of food as reward. I think alot of dog owners do not train their dogs sufficiently and that is why i have so many problems when im out with my 2 well behaved ones.
If i was going on a family picnic, i would leave my dogs at home and chose a no dog or dogs on leads environment to go to. Even though i am a serious dog lover i do not want to be pestered by drooling dogs at lunchtime either.

Haychee, I do know that there are responsible dog owners out there but there a lot who aren't. I agree with the poster who said that owning a dog is a privilege and people should be mindful of others when out with their dogs. DS1 went through a phase of being scared of all animals just after our cat died (have outed myself as a firm "cat person" there) and I took steps to alleviate his fears. We regularly visit an animal sanctuary and talk about the lovely cats/dogs/rabbits/donkeys etc and "talk" to the nice dog we pass on our walk who "wants to be friends with DS1" and even more recently stroke said dog.
This can all be undone with a dog jumping up at him (which has happened)and I do find some dog owners' selfish in their attitudes "He won't hurt you" and eyerolling because you're not keen on a strange dog running up at you.
I've stopped running in certain areas as I was sick of dogs jumping up at me and tripping me over (in an area where they are supposed to be on a lead anyway).
I don't see why my enjoyment of the outdoors should be spoiled by people's thoughtlessness.

My dogs dont even dare look at us in the eye when we are eating.

Absolutely lizzylou
you sound like bunny3 who has just phoned her local council to ensure enforcements are made against those dog owners who break the rules. It simply is not on to allow your dog to go off the lead if they are not controllable (in an area where they are allowed off the lead) or if in an area where they are not permitted off the lead. Its so unfair on the rest of us.

The unfortunate thing is that with dogs they cannot learn their boundaries without having been exposed to it. If i kept my dogs out of the room when we were eating then they wouldnt learn anything. Its only because i allow them free run of the house at our mealtimes that they have now got the idea that they are not allowed to watch. Its the same when off the lead. They have to be recalled at the right moment repeatedly to learn that they cannot approach anybody, joggers, picnics or children.

Haven't read all the thread, so apologies.

I have a dog, and my ds is definitely not afraid of dogs, but I always tell him not to approach dogs that he doesn't know because it is impossible to tell which dogs are good with children and which ones are not.

I agree that parents should teach there lo's to be respectful of dogs, but I do think that teaching them to react with fear is foolish too. Dogs can sense real fear - it makes them nervous and they react to it.

There is a middle ground, where children can respect animals and treat them with caution, but without panic.

I would be perfectly happy for someone to kick or push away my dog if he was pestering you when out jogging, that is how he will learn he is not welcomed by everyone.

It is the shrieking screaming and shouting mothers that i do not agree with. The message they are displaying to their children is wrong (im referring to an off the lead acceptable area).

I also always put my dog (even though I know that he is gentle and likes children) on a lead when I see small children approaching. He must seem very large to children unaccustomed to dogs and he could knock them over in his excitement (he is a dog afterall - it is my job to control him because he can't innately control himself).

So of course dog owners have responsibilities too!

rantmum again thankyou. There seems to be alot more sound people posting here today. I tried to say just that yesterday and i was told that if my dog was likely to chase a screaming (in fear) child then he should be put down. He does like to chase because he is a puppy (11months) and he wants to play he is not at all aggressive. But because he is a large breed dog it does worry me when mothers react with screams.