children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

lazylines.. I love mutley

nope, dusted bedroom liberally once again putting it on on Sat. Looked great though.

peanutbear - I have 3 or 4 friends with dogs. Although I have never asked them to my friends do tend to take their dogs outside of the main rom for most of the time they visit. They know I am nervous of the dog and can't relax whilst it is there, so they take the dog out so I feel more comfortable I guess. There are periods in the visits where the dog is around and that is fine. But if the dog becomes too fussy it is generally taken away.

If I found a visit too stressful because of a dog I would simply chose not to visit my firends at their home. I would suggest another location such a smy home or a cafe or whatever.

Glad it's not just me with Mrs Havershams Boudoir then.

Promise to let me know if you find a describable technique? [desperate]

drat.
Miss Haversham

Right. That really is it for the night.
Goodnight all patient souls!

I'm a newbie, hello all. As a dog ownder and a new mum I have to post ! I have a really cute spaniel, but NO WAY do I trust her around any children, even my own. We only let her off the lead when we can see far enough that there are no kids - she's allowed to talk to other dogs though. She's never bitten or been aggressive at all, but she is v protective as b4 ds came along she wwas daddys little princess.We have the opposite problem - when she's on the lead, kids come running up desperate to stroke her as she's so pretty - but being restrained on a lead makes her v protective of us, so obviously she barks, which then scares them ! We always apologise, but it does amaze me that some children aren't taught not to approach a strange dog, especially one that is restrained on a lead. I think this is a very controversial issue, but can see all sides and I don't think there's a right or wrong really - just that dogs should be kept under control at all times, and children should be taught not to approach strange dogs, especially ones on leads.

I would put her out too if she kept sniffing you etc and If you were allergic, but if she was just lying there in a corner would that really be a problem

I do put her out completly for my HV as she is terrified even if asleep in the corner and I dont think desensitation (sp) would work in her case

my dog does live here to though and I had a frind who went through a stage of poping in every day and I did really feel bad for the dog maybe I am to soft

haychee - have you considered that some of these kids might be afraid of dogs (or the parents for that matter) because they have been attacked - DS1 wouldn't be afraid of dogs if he hadn't been put in hospital by one.

As I said before peanutbutter, if I did find it too stressful for myself I would simply chose to meet my friend(s) at a different location to their house. Luckily I am okay with a dog laying in the corner, although I wouldn't be totally relaxed I admit. But the fussing around me, etc. I find very difficult although do cope with it for a couple of minutes to start with, in the hope the dog will get bored of me and leave me alone!

a fear is a fear isnt it doesnt matter how irrational it seems to other people as I have just had pointed out to me by Dh as I ran screaming from a baby wasp sorry if you thought me rude

just for haychee when i start a thread

Now if it was a spider sat on the corner of the room monding its own business, then there isn't a chance I'd be in the room!

Can I just say I have found this thread very amusing today and particularly this comment "Start another thread about discrepancies in the Highway Code" - good one Winestein. Thanks all. Good night.

PS I hate dogs, mainly due to the way they smell and drool.

I've only skimmed the thread but I immediately had a lot of sympathy for the OP and felt amazed at the hysterical outburst. The vast majority of dogs are not vicious or bitey and kids, if allowed to, will enjoy meeting them.

I teach my kids to approach slowly, let the dog have a sniff of them and work out whether or not it's the stroking type.

Dogs have rights in this world too. We've concreted it over after all. Man and dog have evolved side by side. They've served us well and, treated properly, can provide fulfilling and meaningful relationships to us.

Dog rock so get a grip scaredy cats!

Pah spiders hold no fear for me

Slugs and snails are a different matter entirely .

I own a 5 yr old yellow labrador- he seems to be one of those "nice but dim" types that everyone tolerates and istantly thinks is perfectly trustworthy. Now, most of the time, he is. He is not 100% well-trained as we adopted him at 21 months from the RSPCA, and had missed that vital training window. He is not good on recall at times, and sometimes escapes our garden. We do however live in the middle of the countryside, and have a large garden and forest very close.

Someone recently said that they completely trusted yellow labs, and were very surprised when I said that NO dog is 100% reliable. I would not trust my dog with a toddler poking fingers in his ears. I would not trust him to be safe is an unknown child went near his bone or food bowl. He is a dog, not a person. He can react unpredictably. We always shut him away if people come who are scared, and I never let him off the lead in built-up areas.

I do think it unreasonable for him to have to put up with being mauled by children who think he is a large soft toy. On the one hand, I expect him to take this in good spirit, and he is shut away at the first sign of any bad temper (lip-curling etc), but on the other hand children should be taught how to approach any animal safely, whether it be fish, lions or cats and dogs. People used to teach children this kind of stuff. Nowadays, blanket fear and avoidance seem to have replaced common sense in many areas of child-rearing. Just because you do not own dogs does not mean that a) they do not exist or b) your child will never meet one. When they do, they should be ready.

In reply to the OP, yes YABU. Your attitude is boorish and insensitive and I personally think you should not own medium to large bouncy dogs in town. It is not fair to them or to the non dog lovers who have to share your living space (which includes the park).

ok, in response soley to the original thread.

Firstly, i do think that we pass our fears on to children. I have a friend who is terrified of dogs, so too are her children, she admits it is due to her fear and reaction.

HOWEVER as dog owners we are duty bound to keep our dogs under control, so that they cannot cause any harm, if harm is to cause fear if they are not on lead then they must be kept on a lead.

Your argument that parents of children anxious about dogs is flawed. Not take them to places that have large numbers of dogs? Well that rules out the park and the beach then!!! It is the responsibility of dog owners to keep their dogs under control in these areas. If that is kept on a lead then the dog must be kept on a lead. There are places appropriate for dogs to be off lead and it is not where there are young children who may become frightened of large dogs bounding around. You may think you have your dog under control but it may not be apparent to other people. I have had two large dogs (rotweillers), my first i would have trusted as much as i would trust any dog with children. I NEVER let him off lead if there were small children around as it may have cause worry for such a big dog to be off lead. I was very lucky with him that i could tell him to sit at a distance and he would do so and wait til i could put him back on lead. My second rottie was a rescue dog and was never let off the lead even if there was the small possibility of encountering children as his temprement was questionable. I know have a small jack russel type puppy and have come across children who are afraid of dogs. The parents often try to encourage the children to stroke my puppy to get them used to dogs, he is very jumpy and excitable so i simply pick him up and restrain him so the children can stroke him confidently.

It is about common sense. Where there are young children running around, keep your dog on a lead (unless you ahve 100% recall - id be terribly impresed if you have!) until it is appropriate to let them off the lead.

Dogs are banned from our local beach in the summer, its a pain, cos my big boys used to love the beach but i totally support the ban, the beach is a place where small children play and they dont want to be harrased by unwelcome dogs and as for people who think its ok not to pick up after their dogs, dont get me started.

duchesse, i totally agree with your post. You make a really good point about labradors and people's misconception of them being living breathing teddy bears. They are just like any other dog; well trained, they are lovely, however still unpridictable as one day they just might simply not feel well. However any dog that is not well trained is a potential danger. The level of training depends on necessity i guess. Like you say, if you live in the middle of no where and are unlikely to meet anyone on your walks then so what if your dog has a good run off lead and may not come back every time. If you are in a built up area, then this is a huge issue and the dog should be on a lead, end of.

When I lived in London I had a dog who was never on the lead for all his ten years (after initial training).

He walked by my side, stopped at roads and waited for the command to cross, never had a cross word with any child.

He was a fantastic dog and brought joy to loads of people young and old.

We shouldn't feel we deserve so much more than all other animals. Let's not forget we're the ones who are continuing to destroy our own environment.

Animals are part of this world and we need to learn to respect them or how on earth can we expect them to respect us?

I was going to get a dog but I find this thread and its knee-jerk hysteria so depressing I may not bother.

Also dogs on leads are probably more likely to bite. How would you like being poked by someone whilst you're tied up and unable to escape?

'Dogs on leads are more likely to bite.' That is possibly one of the most stupid comments I've ever read on here.

Spidermama, I think what most people are objecting to is the fact that the OP doesn't understand that a child's fearful reaction is not a deliberate thing - it is involuntary and instinctive. And some adults are scared too. They may try their damnedest not to pass on their fear, but that is not always possible. People don't do it purely to wind up dog owners.

But your dog sounds lovely - my aunt had a dog (in London) who walked beautifully without a lead and was a delight to all.

He always comes back, LucyEllens. He just doesn't necessarily come back instantly. I have never lost him in the forest, as he homes around me and checks back every 30 seconds. He just wouldn't come back instantly if people appeared 100 metres away- he'd run up to meet them instead. On my typical 4 mile forest walk I might see two other people (most usually dog walkers as well). Sometimes none at all. I always keep him on the lead near sheep fields, although sheep fields are usually very well fenced, as he tends to run up to any animal wagging his tail, which the sheep strangely don't take as a sign of friendliness (the scene from Babe springs to mind (Wolf! Wolf!).

re the dung- the walk I do is commonly up to 1 ft deep in mud, with horse, badger, fox and deer shit everywhere along it. Nobody in their right mind would or does walk the path without wellies, and you have to watch out for all the other (wild animal) droppings. I only pick up if he does it it in the path. When he does it somewhere more prominent (still in the forest I hasten to say), I flick it into dense undergrowth or dig a hole with my welly heel and bury it. I don't feel that bagging it in plastic and disposing of it in a landfill site is especially enviro friendly, when the wriggly beasts deal with it in a week. Does that make me criminally neglectful?

I respect your poo principles duchesse. I worry about all the plastic-wrapped poo in the world. There must be a better solution in towns/cities/on footpaths.