children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

Are you still trying to say that she was unreasonable for being frightened? Not the swearing or the aggression - that's a separate matter, as I tried to say, and you're completely entitled to judge there - but just for being frightened?

How is that your business?

Its natural for a cat to wash itself but that doesnt make it disgusting either.

I think what she is saying is that the child wasn't particularly frightened until the actions of the mother made her so

It seems it was the mother that was frightened not the child. The child learnt its fear from the way the mother was reacting to a dog that was 5meters away not paying any attention to her or her child. That is what i find most frustrating.

Absolutely mrs fish
And this is not the first time, it happens alot!

And the mother? - isn't she allowed to be frightened? For her child, or for herself? If that's how she feels?

[Note, yet again, just to be clear: I am NOT defending the aggression.]

You may find it frustrating, fine but it is just not your business.

Being on the receiving end of swearing and aggression, whatever it's about, yes that is your business. But whatever was going through this woman's mind is not your business.

If you want to do something with your frustration, someone posted something below about a dog-familiarisation charity - you could volunteer for that? Otherwise, you are just going in circles, really.

I think that if all parents carried on like this then all puppies would be kept on leads at all times and all children would be bred with the fear of dogs. I find this very sad. My oldest dog is 6 and we got her when my eldest child was a baby. They are inseperable (?sp) the dog is my daughters best friend in the whole world. There are alot of lovely dogs in the world not all are bad.

Haychee, you seem to be now finding it hard that some people don't like dogs habits, such as sniffing wee, poo and licking all manner of, er, well, mannerful stuff.

I love dogs. I have a dog. I like and love a lot of other dogs that I know. I do not expect other people to like or love my dog. especially what comes naturally to him. Infact, the slobbering sounds he makes whilst licking his back leg drives me to distraction (we have likenened it to the sound of a sock full of whelks being slapped on his leg - and the smell is there too)

I am curious as to why you are unable to accept that some people are frightened of dogs? Or that some people are not frightened of them but purely don't like them?

But it is my business it affects me directly.

I'm scared of dogs. Very scared. This is partly irrational - my father encouraged us in what I agree was a quite hysterical fear of them (we were living in India, where there's rabies), and I've also been bitten by a farking HUGE dog - but also because, frankly, great big animals with huge teeth trigger an 'omg, wolf, hide, run VERY VERY fast back to cave' reflex in them. Also I live in a part of London where the park regularly has signs up about people who've been savaged by the damn animals.

Why, I hear you cry, do I go to that park? Er well, it's a park. And also it's on the way to DD2's childminder. So we walk over the park. And sometimes dogs come up to us and guess what, sometimes those dogs are not under control.

weinstein
I do not disrespect those that are fearful of dogs at all! Its the way some mothers are carrying on encouraging their children to be this fearful of dogs.

OK have not read whole thread but this is what I think.
It is quite natural, IMO, for a small child to be scared of (medium to big) dogs, and it does not take parents to train them to do this.
Think of it from their perspective. Children are small, and to a small child dogs are big and hairy and loud and have huge teeth. If I met a wolf-like thing that was taller than me and panting and slurping and showing me its teeth (other than my DH har har har) I would be scared. I would not wait to see if it was friendly.
I like dogs, by the way.

haychee, do you not think that 72 posts on one thread in one day is a bit, um, excessive?! There's hundreds on other conversations going on out there you know!

Haychee - your dogs affected her directly

Are you so blinkered you are unable to understand this simple fact?

Jeez

Oops, missed off the

Dog lovers often have a very different idea of what "well behaved" means compared with non dog lovers. Basically, when someone says "my dog is great" you shouldn't take their word for it. They might have a nightmare of an animal and love it to distraction

littlelupin
Dont you think that counting up how many times i have posted on a thread that i started is a little odd? Why do you keep coming back and winding me up - like you say there are lots of other conversations going on - if you dont like this one then go elsewhere. Thankyou.

Haychee - I have breed of dog which is not popular in the social stereotype I apparently fit in. I have him because my partner desperately wanted one as he knew many of them growing up in his (highly middle class) upbringing so we researched them thoroughly and found them almost perfect in every way.

The breed is often demonised now. People don't understand them. I have spent 8 years with him having some mothers dragging their children away because of their miscontrual of his breed. Not necessarily because they hate dogs as a whole, just his breed

I used to think it was a shame, but I no longer care. Why would I want to foist him on anyone in the street anyway, any more than I would want to shove my DS into someones way for a quick pat and a stroke. So what if I know he is very friendly? I just control him adequately and he doesn't bother anyone at all.

I didn't count them. I had a look on Search to see if you were talking on other threads, and it tells you how many times a person has posted on a particular thread.

And I wasn't trying to wind you up, actually. If you are going to stick around, you aren't doing yourself any favours by a) being so dogmatic (pun intended!) and b) not really participating in the wider community. So it was more in the way of helpful advice. But you know, you're having fun here, so crack on .

what breed of dog do you have

Haychee - your posts are inconsitent in content. Earlier you said the dog was running around the child because the child was running around.

I think dogs should be well enough trained not to bound/trot up to strangers to greet them (never know.. stranger danger )

I have been a dog owner, although currently do not have one. I have had very well trained gundogs who walked to heel when were free running did not foist themselves on others. As soon as I used whistle stopped and retruned to heel or (depending on whistle) sat. My dog didnt get medals cos I didnt go for the whole self fulfilling bullshit, she was part of a gundog club and went on shoots. She was fantastically well trained and was a wonderfully loving pet too. She would get excited and greet her family memebers/pack memeber i guess in her eyes but would not do it to strangers.

I can hardly believe that your dog was loitering by a bush a good distance away and someone shouted at you, especially as you have changed your story so many times.

You seem to have been glued to your PC all day surely the dogs need a walk. Also I have known weineramers(sp) as friends breed them and also a boss I had, had one. They are excitable at times and can be very bouncy and highly strung. I guess the puppy bouncing energy came through as it went to see the child. Therefore, if a child is scared of dogs a mother is naturally going to protect the child.

I am very very dubious about you as you spout such strong views about the risks of a child being snatched from bed but dont seem to understand the risks from poorly trained dogs.

So what if i think im right. Im not alone, some have been here today.

Just for the record, i do not let my dogs off in areas where they are not allowed to be. I do not allow them to barge up to people and knock them over or even lick them. I do not allow them to trample over and eat others picnics. I do not let them approach people in general but i do alow them to go off the lead and sniff about in the bushes. And i always pick up after them.