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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he being taken advantage of?

107 replies

ICanBThe1 · 24/03/2019 18:55

Would you think this situation as unreasonable? My boyfriends brother said he needed help financially and if he could borrow £200 off him and didn’t say what it was for. My bf’s brother isn’t in a job where he would need emergency money. my bf gave it to him anyway without asking what it was for. Now my bfs brother has announced on Facebook that he’s going on a holiday. Presumably using the money my bf gave him. AIBU because he said he needed help financially but really it was just money for a holiday or is this expected between siblings? I feel like my bf is being taken the absolute piss out of him but he’s not allowing any conversation about it and says it’s not any of my business but I feel like his brother takes advantage of him and therefore it impacts both of us

OP posts:
Springwalk · 24/03/2019 19:26

It really isn't any of your business. It is between them, why do you care? Its not your money, not your brother and absolutely nothing to do with you.

Honestly you sound jealous he is going on holiday. Just book a holiday yourself and leave them to do what brothers do, they really won't thank you for getting involved.

Original poster
ICanBThe1 · 24/03/2019 19:26

Ok so if you were in a relationship with someone and someone just kept borrowing money from them all the time (1 sided not lending each other money) you would be ok with it? And not think the person was a CF?

OP posts:
Babyornotbaby · 24/03/2019 19:27

I would be (and am) fine with it. It isn’t my business.

Nicknacky · 24/03/2019 19:28

I leant money to my sister fairly frequently for a while. And I’m married!

category12 · 24/03/2019 19:28

You again?

Why don't you break up with him and find a guy who's an only child to date.

CinnabarRed · 24/03/2019 19:29

Ok so if you were in a relationship with someone and someone just kept borrowing money from them all the time (1 sided not lending each other money) you would be ok with it? And not think the person was a CF?
As long as I got paid back, I’d be fine with it.

SD1978 · 24/03/2019 19:31

From the (several) different posts- you have an issue with this, when it doesn't affect you, partner is quite well off, and he is happy to help out his brother? You're still being unreasonable, and it still doesn't affect you, or have anything to do with you.

Ontheboardwalk · 24/03/2019 19:31

ICanBThe1 how long have you been with your boyfriend?

I’d get annoyed if a partner, with no shared finances, kept trying to tell me what I could or couldn’t do with my money. Do you argue with him about the cash?

S1naidSucks · 24/03/2019 19:32

I honestly don’t know why your boyfriend and you are still together, you are so resentful of his decisions.

alonerinlona · 24/03/2019 19:32

Arghhh it's you again!

How many times are you going to post a different version of a similar story and expect the MN mind to agree with you !??

You're controlling. I'm surprised your long suffering BF is still around

Flowersintheatticconversion · 24/03/2019 19:34

What ontheboardwalk says
Your bf doesn’t have a problem with it and as long as it’s getting paid back mind your own business and stop starting the same thread over and over.
The answer is the same

Bluntness100 · 24/03/2019 19:34

Oh good you're back. To argue with everyone you're right, you should be able to control whatever money your boyfriend lends his brother.

Great.

MelGtn7 · 24/03/2019 19:37

Unreasonablebutjustified

I see nobody sees my point. Predictable. But not surprising.

^
That was from the last thread. Take a hint.

steff13 · 24/03/2019 19:37

Your boyfriend has the money and is happy to give it to his brother. That's all that matters.

Thingsdogetbetter · 24/03/2019 19:38

I lend a friend a wad of money. My husband said it was my savings and therefore mine to lend.

You keep saying 'us' when it's not joint money. Is this the issue? You think your bf is lending money you think ypu should have joint conrol over? Which makes you unreasonable at best or a good digger at worst.

There is way more to this than you thinking it's you wanting to protect your bf. You need to work out what the actual issue is before you're single and don't have this problem anymore!

ChicCroissant · 24/03/2019 19:41

You again, OP. Still not happy with your partner deciding what he does with his own money.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 24/03/2019 19:42

You do post about this fairly regularly under different names sometimes. Your going to get the same answers every time, it's his money, he isn't struggling to pay bills, his brother even pays him back! There is literally no issue here, other than you not liking not being in control.

Babyornotbaby · 24/03/2019 19:42

I’ve read your posts on the other thread.

You’re abusive and controlling.

Your bf needs to get rid of you.

Original poster
ICanBThe1 · 24/03/2019 19:42

Gonna abandon this thread as nobody gets my point. I’m not trying to control I’m just trying not to get my bf be taken advantage of. I don’t see why it’s seen as a bad thing I’m looking after him

OP posts:
Babyornotbaby · 24/03/2019 19:43

By cutting telephone calls and trying to alienate him from his family?

Classic abusive tactics op.

MelGtn7 · 24/03/2019 19:44

Gonna abandon this thread as nobody gets my point.

Until the next time...

steff13 · 24/03/2019 19:45

I think if this many people are telling you your wrong, a wise man would consider that he might actually be wrong.

steff13 · 24/03/2019 19:45

You're

Bringbackthestripes · 24/03/2019 19:47

Gonna abandon this thread as nobody gets my point. I’m not trying to control I’m just trying not to get my bf be taken advantage of.

Because he is NOT being taken advantage of

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