Or is he being taken advantage of?

[ICanBThe1]

Would you think this situation as unreasonable? My boyfriends brother said he needed help financially and if he could borrow £200 off him and didn’t say what it was for. My bf’s brother isn’t in a job where he would need emergency money. my bf gave it to him anyway without asking what it was for. Now my bfs brother has announced on Facebook that he’s going on a holiday. Presumably using the money my bf gave him. AIBU because he said he needed help financially but really it was just money for a holiday or is this expected between siblings? I feel like my bf is being taken the absolute piss out of him but he’s not allowing any conversation about it and says it’s not any of my business but I feel like his brother takes advantage of him and therefore it impacts both of us

he’s not allowing any conversation about it and says it’s not any of my business

He's right.
If a bf tried to tell me who I could and could not lend money to, especially my own brother, I'd soon tell him where he could go if he couldn't drop it.

A partner who I had joint finances with, would be different.

If you don't share finances I fail to see how it's any of your business what your DP does with his money or who he gives it out to/lends it to.

But he is being taken advantage of because when his bro asks to borrow money he always gives it without question. He doesn’t even ask what for

@ICanBThe1 could you answer my previous post please.

There is no 'us' here! It's not your money, it's not your business.

Do you try to isolate you bf from other family members and friends under the guise of protecting him? Are you jealous of his relationship with his brother? Do you see your bf LENDING his brother money as somehow lessening his love for you? This seems to be an obsession with you and unless you let go, your by is going to get sick of your pettiness. He WILL choose his brother if you push this. Then there really will be no 'us'.

but it’s still him being taken advantage of

No. It isn’t. Just because you don’t like what he spent the money on doesn’t mean your BF was taken advantage of.

I don’t get why the pressure is on shared finances, we are in a relationship with each other,

If he had given money that you, with shared finances, needed to pay the rent/gas bill/food bill then you would have a say on where the money went. Being in a relationship -with no shared finances-doesn’t give you a say on how your BF spends HIS money.

He lends him money and gets it back, doesn't question what the money is for, and it doesn't impact you financially at all. I can't see what business it is of yours.

Does your boyfriend control what you spend your money on?

THATS NOT BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!

I don't understand why you think the brother is taking advantage. The money gets paid back, the brother isn't spinning a sob story about it being for something urgent, and your BF is happy with the situation.

You again. As with each of your previous threads, listen to your boyfriend, it is nothing to do with you.

@DoneLikeAKipper I have posted before but “not on here all the time posting about him”.

Does nobody think this is unreasonable? Or at the very least, cheeky fucker behaviour ?

There is no cheeky fucker behaviour here at all. It’s your issue.

It’s not him being taken advantage of.

It’s between him and his brother and none of your business.

You need to neb out.

Does nobody think this is unreasonable? Or at the very least, cheeky fucker behaviour ?

No. Everyone thinks it’s up to your BF and none of your business.

Which is what we tell you every.single.time you post about it.

He's baaaaack. This is the OP who threw away the celebrations? chocolates at Christmas time. Bfs Brother was given lots of gifts, bf and the OP were only given chocolates as per previous years.

People didn't agree with you either of the last two times op. I doubt thus will be different.

He is being taken advantage of. His brother asks to borrow money from us and then just wastes it on pointless things

He’s not borrowing from “us”.

He’s borrowing from his brother.

Keep your nose out of their relationship.

His brother asks to borrow money from your BF. There is no “us” in this context. And it’s entirely up to your BF.

Fuck me, you’re controlling.

A holiday isn't pointless.

Yes it is up to my bf and his choice but I can still think he’s being taken advantage of

@ICanBThe1

If you’re the guy I’m thinking of, you do post here all the time about your boyfriend giving his brother money. Then everyone tells you to mind your own bloody business about it, you flounce, name-change and eventually come back again moaning about it.

Oh, and again, mind your own bloody business about what your boyfriend does with the money he can afford to spend.

I'm surprised your bf hasn't dumped you. You have no right to judge this.

Yabu

He has lent his brother £200. What he spends it on is fuck all to do with you.

He didn’t ask to borrow the money from joint funds, did he?

So you would never borrow money from your boyfriend if you needed any?