to find this attitude towards single mums a bit annoying?

[GreenTowel]

I've recently become a single mum to an infant, so very little lovely baby. I left his father due to some pretty heavy emotional abuse that I was brainwashed into believing is normal.

I didn't notice it so much before, but recently I've been finding comments about singlemumdom a bit saddening.

• 'I did really well for myself considering I was raised in a single mum household' (from a colleague)
• 'I was disadvantaged because my mum was a single mum' (master chef contestant)

Etc etc. I have plenty more examples.

My son is not disadvantaged, not are the kids of many single mums I know. Are there statistics to back this up? I'm sure there might be, but it's sad to think this is the attitude many people have.

Anyone else find this?

[justjuggling]

I’ve been a single parent for nearly 6. My DC haven’t seen their Dad for 5 years but I have a good job, earn decent money and am very lucky to have the support of my family who live nearby. Both my DC are doing well at school, have lots of friends, take part in various extra curricular activities etc.

Having said all that, I worry they are disadvantaged, I think, sadly, they probably are. Essentially, they’re missing an extra person who should be there to live them and help raise them. I’m always busy, tired and probably don’t pay them the attention they deserve. There is considerably less money coming into the house than there would have been if their Dad hadn’t left and they now live in a much smaller house, have cheap & cheerful holidays etc. And, if I’m really honest, I worry about the long term impact on their emotional well being and future relationships from their father walking out. I try very hard to compensate: amazing birthday parties, attend (or send my parents!) to every school event, make cakes for bake sales, lots of friends round to play, etc etc but they are disadvantaged because they have only one parent.

I’m a damn good one though and one good one is far better than if the other being around/present is detrimental to them!

[GreenTowel]

Do you place any responsibility on the woman to be more discerning about who she chooses to procreate with? Not excusing feckless men at all but responsibility does extend to both parties.

I had no idea my ex would become jealous and abusive during my pregnancy, and worse when baby was born. It's not always the case that women just choose to have babies with abusive men. This just stigmatises single mums (especially those in abusive relationships) even further. I've been a victim of coercive control, it's not so simple that you just walk away.