Not to want my x-DH not to bring his girlfriend (the woman he was sha**ing whilst I was pregnant with dd) to my ds' sports day?

[peachypie]

I really would like a few opinions about this. My first feelings are absolute anger and if she comes anywhere near I wont be responsible for my actions. (im normally not a agresssive person)

Thanks

I don't have any children yet and I understand how you feel. My guess is more that she doesn't care how you feel and has decided that you need to "get used to the new situation already" and will take these kinds of opportunities to make that situation a publicly acknowledged one.

I also disagree with Alicet. I get what you're saying, but a marriage is a public commitment. People in the marriage as well as people outside the marriage should respect it. It's someone else's family. Knowingly violating that is a terrible thing to do. Doing it when there are kids involved and you are possibly breaking up their home is unforgiveable IMO.

You aren't being unreasonable peachypie. In fact it sounds like you're drawing on your inner strength to deal with a very hard situation as reasonably and as maturely as possible and are minimising the effects on your LOs.

Unfortunately it looks like you're going to have to suck it up and be the gracious person one more time. Your kids have a great mom, they're lucky.

PS would it really be the worst thing in the world if your sister did have a couple of choice words? No, bad me. You're quite right to keep it all civil. good for you.

not unreasonable

i cant understand why she would want to attend knowing you would be there anyway

definitely not unreasonable. Has your ex considered how your children will feel seeing their dad with the other woman. When your children are racing or away from you announce in a very loud voice and pointing 'that's the woman I was telling you about' to the group of supportive mums that will no doubt be with you!!

She might want to attend in order to be seen as the exh's current partner. Maybe he has asked her to attend. Sounds like she should be at work really.

They are both as guilty as each other, but we live in a more tolerant society, than in Thomas Hardy's time - remember the Skimity Ride in The Mayor of Casterbridge? Perhaps it is better that we are more tolerant, making less temptation for them to murder Peachy and get her out of the way so they could be together.

Of course it hurts, Peachy, but they know what they have done, and have to face the fact that your dc will understand what they have done, when they get older. You will no doubt always be able to look your dc in the eye. They won't.

Send a text telling them that after the Mums' race and the Dads' race there will be a womenwithoutmoralsoranythoughtsforanyone else race so not to forget her trainers. If they do come, hold your head high and give them a wide berth.

Thanks again for all your support,suggestions and witty comments.

You all have really made me laugh and made me feel more able to deal with the situation. I will remember what has been said and it will keep me smiling tomorrow.

x

How did it go Peachypie? Hope you're okay.

peachypie I hope your ds sports day went ok and she didnt attend

fwiw I would have been inclined to say to ex h that its not about what he or the floozy want its your childs day and he should respect that.

Personally I think she (flooozy) is obviously very insecure in her relationship with exh and feels the need to cling

Hope it all went ok peachypie! x

Hi thanks for asking.
Well because of all the recent rainfall they had to move sports day into the school hall and they couldnt accomodate parents as there wasn't enough room!
I didnt get to do any of the suggestions that were provided unfortunatley
She did come with X-DH last night to drop off DC and we had the usual ficking and pouting. Honestly she reminds me of a peacock with the whole display thing.

That should have been 'flicking' x

Forgot to say - Helenhismadwife I think you have a couple of good points there.

is she that insecure that she needs to be with him every time he has to associate with u, i think its hilarious......dont think their relationship is gonna last she is a nob ed

Suezee you make me lol.

hell no i wouldnt want her anywere near me

well its true tho lol, i just think its pathetic and i love how ur dealing with it all cos she'll be even more pissed that ur not crying begging him to come back to u every time u see him........sometimes the most subtle revenge is the best

Thanks, I hope so although sometimes I feel a bitannoyed that they have a life that seems rosy. Big 4 bedroomed house, flash cars, holidays.

I just hope what goes around comes around.

I hope so to, but as you know doesnt matter what money gets u, might be a very differant story behind those 4 bedroomed doors{ha ha ha ha).

do u really think a relationship founded on a sneaky shag is going to go the distance......my auntie did this to her dh and ran off with the fela 2 years later shes up shit creek and i think its fab she deserves everything coming to her. fair enuff if a spouse wants to leave, but be fair and leave before the shaggin about starts

Lol. Yes your right.

Funny story, a friend of mine was out with another friend who is friends with exh (hope you followed that) they were at the local with a few others and in walks Exh with floozy who joined them.
They had been sat chatting for a while and floozy starts passing around her phone with a picture on.
My friend was getting a bit annoyed thinking she was passing around pictures of my DC and this annoyed him as he knows exactly what the pair of them have done. The phone eventually gets to my friend and its a picture of her new leather brown settee

Get a life love.

My dad says this, any relationship based on lies and deceit will not last.

WTF????????????????? y would anyone be so sad to passing round a phone pic of a new sofa........what a pair of absolute shit heads really,how ols is she????????????? just out of nappies the way it sounds

She is 27!

so im guessing hes older than her then?????is he having an early midlife crisis. i just hate the fact that hes been able to walk away from u and ur left to pick up the pieces.i dont know how ur so civil towards them both.......can i ask how long ago this all started, im new to mums net so sorry if uve already done a thread or im being a nosey cow x

No i dont think i have ever done a thread on it and no your not being nosey.
It happend about 4 years ago now (where has the time gone) I was eight weeks pregnant and had a 2 yr old when I found some messages on his phone.
We had been married for 9 years known each other for 12 years.
Exh is now 34.
We married quite young. I was 19 he was 22 but didnt have children till 6 years later.

Loved him to bits.

Insensitive of him. Why not email him and say if she comes you won't be responsible for your actions or flaunt a new lover at him which might be more subtle - borrow a good looking man for the afternoon and turn up in a jag.