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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset by this woman

83 replies

Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 19:13

I'm on a weekend break at the moment with DH and Ddog, before our baby arrives in June.
DH had gone in to the onsite shop to get some bits for tea whilst I waited outside with Ddog. A woman came out of the clubhouse with two drinks and asked me to watch them whilst she went and bought a lighter.

When she came out she asked how old Ddog was and said that he had to give her dog away when she had her first baby because it got jealous and nasty, and was sorry to tell me this but 'that's just how it goes'. She didn't hear me tell her that I teach at dog training twice a week and that a good friend is a full time trainer. Ddog loves kids and has been very snuggly with me through pregnancy. So many people have felt the need to tell me I'll have to rehome him, despite the fact he is fantastic with children and babies.

Then she asked me when I was due. When I told her June, she started going on 'oh you're really small for June' (first time anyone hasn't called me huge and asked if I am having twins) 'is there anything wrong with baby, is she measuring ok, well as long as you think she is healthy'

I got distracted by people coming to fuss ddog whilst she carried on talking about if my baby would be healthy or not and then walked off. This woman is a total stranger. Little does she know that we did actually receive a high risk of DS (got the all clear) and do have to have growth scans because of this, but at all of my appointments they have said everything looks fine and baby is currently growing along at the most average rate.

Anyway, I've got back to the caravan and cried my eyes out. DH has told me not to pay attention as the woman (we aren't normally so judgy) had no teeth and was sitting outside smoking drinking two pints, so shouldn't be speaking to me about health. He also said to totally ignore her about ddog (who I love dearly) as she probably doesn't actually know anything about dog behaviour.

But I can't shake how upset I am!! What makes people think they have a right to say anything that pops in their head upon seeing a baby bump?

OP posts:
longtimelurkerhelen · 23/03/2019 20:24

What is going on in these self appointed authorities on everything people's minds?

They clearly have nothing going on in their own lives and feel the need to bestow their unsolicited idiotic opinions on others.

I'm not surprised her dog had to be re-homed (lucky escape for the dog), she clearly lacks awareness and probably didn't treat the dog properly.

Ignore and enjoy your break, but YABU for not attaching a picture of your cute dog Grin

Congratulations on your baby. Flowers

MarthasGinYard · 23/03/2019 20:25

Just a joy sucker in general I'd say

A Busy of the body with an opinion on any opinion.

Bless you

Ignore

Butteredghost · 23/03/2019 20:26

Ignore! I know what you mean about the size comments, I got "omg you are enormous, is it twins" and "omg your bump is so small, are you keeping the baby in your handbag" comments on the same day, an hour apart.

As for the dog comment, I'm guessing she feels bad about dumping her dog and is making herself feel better by pretending she had no choice as everyone has to do so.

SofaSurfer20 · 23/03/2019 20:28

Nosey twunt.

Ignore her

Original poster
Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 20:31

I'm guessing she feels bad about dumping her dog and is making herself feel better by pretending she had no choice as everyone has to do so.

Hmm possibly, would make sense

Nosey twunt

Twunt is my new favourite word

OP posts:
ItookYourJob · 23/03/2019 20:32

Sometimes one has to chose between having teeth or common sense.

letsdolunch321 · 23/03/2019 20:34

She sounds like an absolute charmer - NOT.

Take no notice and enjoy your days away with DH and Ddog.

Wishing you well for June 💐

Pernickity1 · 23/03/2019 20:34

This will be the first of many many occasions where you will receive unsolicited criticism or judgement about something associated with parenting

Not necessarily! I have two DC and I’ve yet to receive unsolicited criticism relating to them (sods law it’ll happen tomorrow Grin). My advice is not to engage in these conversations OP if you can help it. She was incredibly rude - perhaps the booze had loosened her tongue? Regardless she’s an idiot.

Don’t worry about your dog, mine was utterly spoiled before the DC came along and while he’s not their biggest fan it’s been totally fine.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers

Zoflorabore · 23/03/2019 20:38

Cheeky bloody mare! Don't let her spoil another second of your break.

Be comforted by the fact that you still have your teeth and she hasn't.

If you see her again and she says another thing that upsets you then blank her. She's not worth another thought.
Or you could recommend a good dentist.

Roxyxoxo · 23/03/2019 20:38

Eurgh yes she was out of order, plenty of people have dogs and little ones with no issues. People used to comment how small my bump was (even though I didn’t think it was), and my daughter was 9lbs9 when she was born haha. Hope you can relax tonight and take your mind off her ridiculous comments.

Original poster
Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 20:38

Sometimes one has to chose between having teeth or common sense.

I laughed out loud

She was incredibly rude - perhaps the booze had loosened her tongue?

That's what DM said when I told her. I should have knocked her drinks over with my 'tiny bump'!

OP posts:
EmmaJR1 · 23/03/2019 20:40

This is my ferocious displaced pup after 2 babies in 2 years...

That women is talking bollox!

To be really upset by this woman
Original poster
Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 20:40

Be comforted by the fact that you still have your teeth and she hasn't.

Another one that has made me laugh out loud. I'm glad I posted here, it's cheered me up.

OP posts:
BigFatGiant · 23/03/2019 20:42

She was probably a little drunk. I know it’s hard when you are hormonal especially if you were having a difficult pregnancy up to this point but just ignore her.

littlebillie · 23/03/2019 20:42

They walk among us ignore as much as possible. Assume that most people are nice, however the horrible ones are out there. The things people said pre and post birth🙄

Original poster
Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 20:48

This is my ferocious displaced pup after 2 babies in 2 years...

Lovely photo Smile

OP posts:
RoseGoldEagle · 23/03/2019 20:49

I am pregnant and a few weeks ago had one person (in Tesco) ask how far along I was and then say ‘you are TINY for being that far along’ and a few days later someone in a different shop thought I looked due to pop any day and couldn’t believe I still had so long to go. I’m measuring completely average. I know it’s hard but honestly just ignore her! And your dog sounds lovely!

FrozenMargarita17 · 23/03/2019 20:51

And by the way, my dd loves her 'goggie'

To be really upset by this woman
flatulencebythebucket · 23/03/2019 20:51

Our dog has always been very gentle with kids, even though she'd never met one prior to ours really.

She sounds nuts.

Yogagirl123 · 23/03/2019 20:55

Odd way to speak to a someone, just forget about it, she was talking complete nonsense.

Our dog was about 7 when our first child arrived, never experienced a problem, no signs of jealousy whatsoever, and as for your size,how rude of her to make such an assumption.

Good luck OP.

7circlemats · 23/03/2019 20:57

My dogs have been great with my DD, ignore her. What an idiot!

FenellaMaxwell · 23/03/2019 21:03

I have a 2 year old DS and a 5yo dog. They are joined at the hip, and the only jealousy is mine that I’m not the dog’s favourite person anymore!

Skittlesandbeer · 23/03/2019 21:06

Maybe my preggie belly anecdote will cheer you up. 8 months along, queuing at the supermarket checkout. A lady in her 50’s strikes up a chat with me, clucking sympathetically and saying ‘Poor you, not long now at least!’. I answered, smiling, ‘Actually it’s all been fine, I’m lucky, no nausea or anything.’ She looked most put out and sort of hissed ‘Well, you know what they say, “easy pregnancy, difficult labour!” ‘.

The whole queue of about 9 people turned and stared at her, gobsmacked. A man her age told her off, and another young woman let me through in front of her saying loudly ‘You don’t need to hear any more of that nonsense.’

It didn’t upset me (only people close to me have the power to do that) but it was a bit of a shock! I’m just sorry you didn’t have any nice passers-by to tell her to F off, like I did. I’m sure if there’s been more (sober) folk around they’d have been vocal in your defence.

One day it’ll just be a funny dinner-party anecdote for you, like mine is!

Original poster
Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 21:07

They are joined at the hip, and the only jealousy is mine that I’m not the dog’s favourite person anymore!

This will be me Grin we keep joking that the dog is in love with me, but it's definitely the little person in my tummy that he is smitten with

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 23/03/2019 21:10

Op If it happens again

"Thanks for the Tips Barbara woodhouse"