To be really upset by this woman

[Climbingahoneytree]

I'm on a weekend break at the moment with DH and Ddog, before our baby arrives in June.
DH had gone in to the onsite shop to get some bits for tea whilst I waited outside with Ddog. A woman came out of the clubhouse with two drinks and asked me to watch them whilst she went and bought a lighter.

When she came out she asked how old Ddog was and said that he had to give her dog away when she had her first baby because it got jealous and nasty, and was sorry to tell me this but 'that's just how it goes'. She didn't hear me tell her that I teach at dog training twice a week and that a good friend is a full time trainer. Ddog loves kids and has been very snuggly with me through pregnancy. So many people have felt the need to tell me I'll have to rehome him, despite the fact he is fantastic with children and babies.

Then she asked me when I was due. When I told her June, she started going on 'oh you're really small for June' (first time anyone hasn't called me huge and asked if I am having twins) 'is there anything wrong with baby, is she measuring ok, well as long as you think she is healthy'

I got distracted by people coming to fuss ddog whilst she carried on talking about if my baby would be healthy or not and then walked off. This woman is a total stranger. Little does she know that we did actually receive a high risk of DS (got the all clear) and do have to have growth scans because of this, but at all of my appointments they have said everything looks fine and baby is currently growing along at the most average rate.

Anyway, I've got back to the caravan and cried my eyes out. DH has told me not to pay attention as the woman (we aren't normally so judgy) had no teeth and was sitting outside smoking drinking two pints, so shouldn't be speaking to me about health. He also said to totally ignore her about ddog (who I love dearly) as she probably doesn't actually know anything about dog behaviour.

But I can't shake how upset I am!! What makes people think they have a right to say anything that pops in their head upon seeing a baby bump?

[FenellaMaxwell]

She used to sleep in our bed, with her little fluffy head on my pillow. Now she sleeps in DS’s room on the armchair so she can gaze adoringly at him at all times.

[FenellaMaxwell]

(He’s still in a cot, I don’t leave them alone together unattended)

[Mississippilessly]

I'm afraid this kind of unwarranted advice carries on after you've had the baby.

Smile and nod if you.are feeling polite. Say something that rhymes with duck toff if you arent..

And congratulations

[EchoCardioGran]

I reckon she drank from one glass and had her teeth in the other?
( my MIL used to do this)

I hope that you are feeling a bit better by now.

[CoffeeRunner]

Return her unwanted advice by offering the number of a good dentist.....

Although she was probably pissed TBH.

Think no more of it.

[TooManyPaws]

My dad's golden retriever loved children so much that he'd escape from the garden to go up to the village primary school at breaktime. Dad would get a message to go and collect him and all you could see was a wagging tail sticking out of a huddle of small children cuddling him. One of mine adores puppies of all species. Stupid woman.

[fairybeagle]

Ah sorry OP. I remember a similar incident when I was pregnant. It's a combination of pregnancy hormones and protectiveness over baby and ddog.
The woman was an idiot pay no attention. Your baby is fine and ddog will love her. We have two ddog's before baby and they are all the best of friends xx congrats on baby

[MissMoan]

She sounds like an expert who knows absolutely everything about nothing. Pregnancy is a stressful enough time as it is so it is totally understandable that her behaviour brought on tears. It's easy enough to say 'ignore her' but when you constantly receive an influx of these or similar comments, it builds up and can wear a person down.
Let's flip this and consider what an expert this particular woman is. Apparently not expert enough to know the dangers of smoking I presume. And not expert enough to understand manners.
I'm certainly no expert but I know of plenty of families whose pets adored the new arrival.
Just bask in the knowledge that you know what you're doing, even if others do not. No one is qualified to judge you, especially those who don't know you.

[Climbingahoneytree]

My dad's golden retriever loved children so much that he'd escape from the garden to go up to the village primary school at breaktime

Ddog is a bit like this. We live near a school and he likes to sit in the garden at pick up/drop off times so he can hear the children. He just chills out there wagging his tail. Bless them.

[kateandme]

no need to comment on the missing teeth though.this can happen for many horrible reasons.that is u being a bad as her in some ways.

[kateandme]

and the missing teeth vile comment continue

[kateandme]

my dog was born alongside brother the both adored and ignored eacohter and having the mess at the same time that new ones bring was not a problem!.
i was still a babe.she was my best friend.and such a comfort when mum had to pay more attention to the little one.she was throughout my life the dearest best soul mate I could ever wish for.i was NEVER once in danger from her.and due to our closeness when I got ill with seizures she even became my rescue dog who would drag me out of harms way and wait with me for safety.our connection from such a young age was something that bought more joy to me than anything ive ever known.she was my protector and then me hers.

[Aveeno2017]

People just talk shit..she was proberbly drunk and had lost her false teeth.

[floribunda18]

You are probably very hormonal right now. Try not to be worried about thick people talking shit.

[floribunda18]

I'm afraid thick people talking shit and constantly offering unasked for advice and judgement is par for the course in pregnancy, and when you have babies and small children. You do start to grow a thicker skin eventually.

[Dimsumlosesum]

What a horrible thing for her to say. Ignore OP. Some people just really like to try and distribute misery/distress whereever they can.

[Rarfy]

Oh op you have my sympathies. When i was pregnant after what i thought was a well known time of previous pregnancy struggles including a stillbirth a midwife i worked with came in interrogating me about the size of my bump. It was horrendous i even rang the maternity assessment unit purely based on her telling me my bump was too big. People are idiots.

Baby is here safe and sound btw and we also had issues with risk factors. My hcg was off the scale high so they couldnt originally give is a risk factor for ds. Then i has the quadruple test which came back something like 1:160 officially low risk but didnt feel like it as my stillborn sons was 1:10000 or something like that!

We also have a dog, got him just after losing our son. We formed and incredible bond and i was so worried when pregnant as to how he would cope with baby. To make matters worse i ended up in hospital a month before delivering her abd dog did not cope well at all. The next time he saw me at home was when i walked back in with baby a month later. He LOVES her. He gets nowhere near as much attention as before but doesn't seem to mind. He is so protective of her and wants to be next to her at all times. Everytime i leave the house and return the first thing he does is check the pram has come back. It's amazing to see.

[Climbingahoneytree]

no need to comment on the missing teeththough.thiscan happen for many horriblereasons.thatis u being a bad as her in some ways

Normally I would never comment on something like that but as she felt the need to start suggesting my baby is not healthy based purely on my bump, we did jump on the judge train for a change, especially with two pints and asking me for a lighter also

@Rarfy you're dog sounds like an absolute sweetheart

[Rarfy]

He is @Climbingahoneytree they will have a great relationship as they both grow the only thing i would say is i find it difficult always being on guard when he does want to be next to her e.g. when we do tummy time or if i just wanted to lay her on the sofa and he jumps up. He's a miniature dachshund so can't see where he is going when jumping up.

[SosigDog]

My dog, who previously adored me and was basically my shadow, now goes to bed with DS every night and lies on the floor snoring. I wouldn’t dream of getting rid of her. Ignore the silly old bag who had no business giving you advice and clearly didn’t love her dog.

[Sipperskipper]

What a dick. My dog (very full on, silly, disobedient terrier) has loved DD since she was born (obviously never left alone together). He loves being near her, and now she is a toddler they have so much fun together. He has helped me teach her to be gentle and respectful of animals, which I think is so important.

[ShadowHuntress]

I had 2 dogs and 2 cats when I fell pregnant with my first. One was a Rottweiler cross the other a staffy cross. I had sooooo many comments from everyone and their mother about how I should give them up. Told the dogs will be aggressive (never so much as growled at another dog or person), the cats could suffocate the baby etc etc. Even got told off by an old lady in the park for walking the dogs while heavily pregnant (the don’t pull and have great recall). I was so upset and worried I didn’t enjoy the end of my pregnancy at all as I felt I’d have to rehome my pets.

Anyway, 7 years and 3 dc later, we’re all quite happily living in (almost) perfect harmony! Even added another dog to the mix! The kids dote on them.

Ignore, it seems likes everyone has an opinion when you’re pregnant and feel like it’s their right to tell you!

[FinallyHere]

DH has told me not to pay attention a

I'm with DH on this one, why would you take any notice of the opinion of random strangers, especially when the little you know about them (their opinion re interaction between dogs and babies ) is so much at odds with your own

Trust your own opinion (and that of DH) and don't give any headspace to randoms

What makes people think they have a right to say anything that pops in their head

You just can't have any control over what other people think and even say , however misinformed they are. You can control your own reactions, and so it's best just to ignore them.

It will be good practise for the coming years when all sorted of people will give your their opinions on your child rearing skills.

Have the confidence of your own opinion and just ignore

much much better than being grumpy to DH

HTH

[Climbingahoneytree]

much much better than being grumpy to DH

I wasn't being grumpy to DH, we had a conversation about it as I was upset

[KC225]

I think the missing teeth was a relevant point, giving that she was double fisting pints and smoking outside a pub whilst upsetting strangers .......

I had four Devon Rex cats and was pregnant with twins. Almost daily, I would get but you have to re-home the cats, you can't keep the cats, what are you going to do about the cats. People came out with the most ridiculous suff about cats trying to suck the breath out of babies, cats will go for their eyes. Even my health visitor said to be careful because cats can smother babies. I challenged her to show any reported/proven case where a baby was smothered by a cat because I couldn't find one. I even phoned her Manager and said she should not be spouting this rubbish. By all means tell prospective parents to be careful with ANY animal around babies and small children but don't stress out hormonal pregnant women with old wives tales.

My twins will be 12 this year and we only have two of the cats left, one of which sleeps at the end of my daughter's bed. It's upsetting when we let these strangers get to us but rest assured, you know dogs, you know your dog - it will all be OK.

Best of luck OP. Enjoy your holiday.