AIBU to wonder how you would feel about your child having an autistic teacher?

[Aspieteach]

Name changed for this just in case any one from my school is able to identify me from previous posts.

I had an appointment today at my county's neurobehavioural clinic. No formal diagnosis yet, but I was told that I meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD. I'm going to "come out" to friends and colleagues once I've had a formal diagnosis but don't know whether to tell parents or not.

I've been a primary school teacher for over 20 years and have always had good relationships with both the children in my class and with parents. But I'm not sure whether parents who don't know me would feel uncomfortable with the idea of their children being taught by someone with autism or whether parents who do know me may change their opinion of me.

I'll read all replies if anyone takes the trouble to post, but won't be back on this thread tonight. Today's been quite intense and overwhelming. I'm feeling pretty exhausted so am off to bed now.

It would make no difference at all to me and you should not consider 'coming out' to anyone outside of your close friends and family and even with this circle, I would hesitate. It is nobody's business but your own.

GermanChassis, those teachers of my DCs whom I suspect to be on the spectrum (several) have all had long careers so have clearly managed to pass multiple performance reviews which include among their criteria rapport with students, and multiple encounters with parents.

Two of my DCs otoh had a science teacher who turned out to be a crackhead and neither of them ever really warmed to her or felt that she was really 'present' in the classroom.

Autism is a spectrum.

After 20 of successful teaching, I don't see why you'd have to tell . I wouldn't.

You being able to teach well is far more important.

total non issue!

but I would not tell the parents. not because I would be worried but because I tend to tell things on a 'need to know basis' and if it does not affect your teaching it's nobody's business. You would not disclose another medical diagnosis to parents, would you? so why ASD?

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. As long as your job isn't impacted negatively then it doesn't matter.

I'm not sure you would even need to declare this to students or parents, would you? You've managed 20 years so far. I don't know how it works though, I could be wrong

There are many traits of high functioning autism that I have become familiar with thanks to many people in the circles I am a part of, and that I see and have seen over the years in many of my DCs' teachers. I say 'I suspect' autism because I am not qualified to diagnose ASD, you are right. I have not diagnosed anyone. Just pondered the possibility in some cases based on many little details I have observed.

Not really understanding your statement wrt seeing many colleagues who who shouldn't have any influence on children's education in the context of a thread on a teacher with a diagnosis of autism. Maybe I am reading too much into your statement and linking too freely with the context, but hopefully you are not implying that autism in a teacher presents a danger to students or represents a situation where the quality of a student's education would be compromised.

..the disinclination of people with autism to 'perform' in front of a class and build relationships with students

That is a sweeping generalisation that should not be made. Many people with autism can be comfortable in a role and in relationships that are well defined. 'Performing' can be a comfortable experience for some. Building relationships with students starts with a deep respect for the individual and many of my DCs' teachers whom I suspect are on the autism spectrum clearly build their approach on the foundation of a deep appreciation of the uniqueness of every brain sitting in front of them daily.

I know a primary school teacher and several secondary school teachers who are open about this to varying degrees. All fantastic teachers.

It's no one else's business. You know you are good at your job and that's all that matters.

You're clearly good at your job, I don't think having a label will change the way you approach teaching so I wouldn't tell the parents.x

There's some very interesting reading regarding the Big 5 and their impact on the success of a teacher

Could you provide links/readings/ books, etc?

Thank you for all the comments.

I'm definitely going to let colleagues know as I think it will help them understand me a little more eg I'm very systematic so people will often come to me to borrow books and other resources and I can find them instantly but problems with executive function mean I struggle to keep up with all the paperwork etc that so many different people seem to constantly demand of me; I'm very caring and supportive if a parent or colleague is in tears in front of me but difficulties in reading facial cues and body language means that I don't pick up more subtle indications that colleagues aren't happy (I'm great with children as they aren't so subtle!); I love being with my class but then prefer to spend lunch time marking or faffing about on my computer rather than going in the staff room as being around people all morning is quite tiring and I need a bit of alone time. There are many more things, but that's probably enough to give a flavour.

I'm certainly not going to make a big announcement to parents. I wasn't intending to stick it in the newsletter like we do for births, marriages and retirements!

I'd wondered more whether just to drop it into conversations when it seemed relevant eg if I had a child with particular difficulties that I can relate to or if someone organising the PTA disco put me down to help in the very loud Hall when I'd rather by outside signing children in (I'm on the PTA and get on well with the mums on the committee).

I told my teenage daughter last night. She was initially very surprised as I hadn't told her about my appointment, but then said that she could really see it and kept thinking of incidents/aspects of my behaviour that would be explained by autism. She was lovely and very supportive.

I've asked her not to tell anyone until I've got a written diagnosis, but then said that it's not a secret and after that it's completely up to her whether she wants to talk about it to her friends or not.
Some of her friends have younger siblings at the school where I teach so the news might end up filtering out to the school community whether I say anything or not.

Germanchassis' comment is why I would advise you not to tell parents or colleagues.
Tell your trusted friends h/t if you wish and that's it you've proved yourself you're a fantastic teacher
If it comes up with your class in the future that's fine but don't rush into it
Btw I think many benefits of having an autistic teacher I'd be happy for my child to have one but wouldn't think it was my business to know as a parent

Most people will already have guessed that you are on the spectrum. It sounds like you are doing your job fine so don't see the issue.

My brother 'came out' with his ASD diagnosis a few years ago. He was gobsmacked that everybody reacted that they already knew.

I wouldn't care at all. It clearly doesn't hinder your ability to do your job so I don't see why any parents should be told.

It might actually be helpful in you supporting other children with ASD/spotting the signs.

I wouldn’t tell anyone that doesn’t actually need to know. People have been wired differently for ever, it’s what makes the human race so complex and it’s only in very recent time we’ve felt a need to label and explain differences. If you’re a good teacher and the kids like you, respect you and learn well with you, that is all I as a parent would be concerned with.

There's an autistic teacher in my DC's secondary school. He is a good teacher. That is all anyone cares about. Don't worry OP.

Different reaction here. Not missing the point too badly I hope.

You are on the cusp of getting really important information about yourself which is already having a huge effect on your self image by which I mean how you explain things to your self about what you find easy, difficult etc.

DP was diagnosed as an adult, a really huge life changing experience for him.

Get support, take time to think it through. No need to rush into telling anyone else anything until you have had plenty of time, perhaps years, to really understand your self in the light of this new information.

You are already a good teacher, more self knowledge can only, over time, make you an even better one.

I hope getting a diagnosis helps you op and I understand you wanting to tell your employers and family and friends op.

I don’t understand the need to tell parents. You’ve been doing your job for a long time so you obviously have tried and tested methods that hep you cope. They don’t need to know. How does it impact them? If you had Crohn’s disease, asthma, depression etc or another invisible condition would you share with the parents? It’s none of their business and I would find it odd if my dc teacher felt the need to share unless it was privately in a parents meeting and pertinent to my child.

Sadly you will get some negative feedback- are you prepared for that?

I have over ten years teaching experience OP and I would not tell any parents as it’s absolutely none of their business. Parents can be so difficult and judgmental. It will spread round quickly and if a parent is upset about some thing they will automatically blame the ASD. You will open a can of worms.

I wouldnt explain to colleagues ether. My experience of staff rooms is that they are very bitchy behind closed doors. I wouldn’t want to ‘other’ myself, you clearly are very good at your job and this announcement isn’t needed. Use the diagnoses to understand yourself better.

I wouldn’t tell parents. It’s not their business and people can be so
Ignorant. It might end up coming back to bite you

@Neome Thank you for your post. I hope your dp found the diagnosis useful. I think you've got a sense of how it's been for me.

I'm generally a very independent, private person. I don't talk about my feelings (even to family or close friends) and don't ask for help if I'm finding things difficult.

Yesterday involved a 3 hour conversation and the whole thing was very intense. I was in tears a few times, which isn't like me at all. Afterwards I felt quite overwhelmed and exhausted.

Even though I've been thinking of this for a long time (waited for yesterday's appointment for over a year so plenty of time for reading and self analysis, and had suspected for a long time before approaching my gp) saying it out loud has been quite difficult and listening to the practitioner summing me up was quite emotional.