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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want partner going out night before mother's Day?

110 replies

ohhcecelia · 22/03/2019 18:15

DH had planned a night in with some mates Friday before mother's Day - which was fine, I planned to go off my mum's to spend the night so I was out of the way.

Now people can't make it so instead he's planning a work night out, the Saturday night before mother's Day? AIBU to be upset at this? No plans for the next day, I obviously won't get one of the two lie-ins I get a year (birthday and MD) and he'll spend the entire day hungover.

OP posts:
Viobihi · 31/03/2019 10:45

Pop a screen shot of their messages on his Facebook account and tag her in

I would absolutely do this!

Nuyearnume · 31/03/2019 10:45

So sorry you are in this situation but sounds like it’s better off you found out. Hope you and your daughter have a lovely mother’s day together maybe get them locks changed if you are going anywhere though! Tell him his clothes are outside

Originofstars · 31/03/2019 10:50

We pay 50/50 bills and rent and I do 95% of housework. Sorry for going off topic but he's unfair in a lot of ways and I guess I just expect more on mother's Day to show his gratitude for how much I do compared to him.

I'd urge you not to make this random day in March each year the one where you get a lie in, or he'll start to feel like a hero if he manages it. Stop wanting gratitude and get him to do his share instead

S1naidSucks · 31/03/2019 10:52

Originofstars

Read the thread.

Dropitlikeitshot · 31/03/2019 10:53

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but I’m glad you can now break free from that cunt.
You can more than do this on your own, you already are.

I’m in agreement with PPs who’ve said to get your relative to serve notice, re-sign up with them under just your name, and kick him the fuck out.

Good luck OP and Happy Mother’s Day xx

Dropitlikeitshot · 31/03/2019 10:55

Come on people, RTFT!

Unescorted · 31/03/2019 11:03

Get your relative to issue a section 21 eviction notice if they can see gov.uk website here.

Alternatively deliberately break the terms of your tenancy and get them to issue a section 8 notice.

The tenancy can be reissue to you alone.

Original poster
ohhcecelia · 31/03/2019 12:24

Thank you so much everyone, all the advice is really appreciated. I've gone out with my Mum again so I'm enjoying my mother's Day. He seems to be fine it's over so I'll just crack on from here!

OP posts:
Original poster
ohhcecelia · 31/03/2019 18:29

Not heard a peep all day. Asked whether he could come home or not, I said I'd leave a bag of stuff by the door. No, he's coming back and he wants his eviction notice serving. Or he'll ring the police and tell them there's drugs in the house - he smokes weed so there's two bags (that I know of). I fucking hate him. He would rather create two weeks of a fucking awful atmosphere and upset DD than just piss off to wherever he was fine spending all night and all day today.

OP posts:
Graphista · 31/03/2019 19:45

Do you have brothers? Large male friends who take no nonsense? Because if so I'd be arranging for them to be there when he gets back to ensure he gets his stuff including his weed (why are arseholes all weed users?) and gets the fuck out!

Tbh (and I'll be honest I don't agree with this I'm vehemently anti drug) the police and even social services won't even be interested if it's just weed and under whatever amount is deemed enough to prove intent to distribute, so I'd be tempted to call his bluff, flush the weed you can find (do you know where he keeps it?) and tell him to get to fuck!

AppleKatie · 31/03/2019 20:02

Tell him to jog on and phone the police about his own weed. Hmm

Don’t be threatened. He won’t do it. And if he does you tell them it’s his and he’s an abusive cunt you are trying to kick out.

RevealTheLegend · 31/03/2019 20:14

Tell him you’ll Call the Police yourself.

They’ll soon see whose weed it is with a hair Strand Test.

What a loser 🤣

IggyAce · 31/03/2019 20:14

OP stay strong, flush the weed that you find. Is there a chance he may turn violent?

ENormaSnob · 31/03/2019 20:34

Well rid.

Let him ring the police.

Prick.

Tilikum · 31/03/2019 20:37

Oh my God! What a complete shithead. Can't believe he would report you to the police and insist on staying in the house until officially evicted, rather than doing the decent thing and skulking off like the fucking weasel he is.

You are well rid of him.

CheshireChat · 31/03/2019 20:47

Probably better to text him so you have some proof.

0nTheEdge · 31/03/2019 20:55

He really is the full package isn't he? At least he's making it easier for you to make a decision. What a nasty piece of work. Hope you enjoyed your day with the lovely people in your life.

lablablab · 31/03/2019 21:00

Wow. He's a nasty piece of work. And all on mothers day too...

I think you should either do one of two things:

Find the weed and dispose of it. Change the locks. Leave his stuff on the doorstep. Start the eviction process.

Or

Call the police and say you're ex has just told you he's planted weed in the house and used it to threaten you and need advice about what to do. Change the locks. Leave his stuff on the doorstep. Start the eviction process.

But please do not let this shithead back through the door. You'll never get rid of him. Take this chance, you deserve so much better.

Viobihi · 31/03/2019 21:18

Did this conversation about the weed take place via text? If so, call the police yourself and show them the texts.

I’d also screenshot the messages and ‘out’ him on Facebook. Let everyone see how much of a fucking prick he is. Men like this make my fucking blood boil, don’t take any shit from him OP x

BringMeAGinandTonic · 01/04/2019 03:57

Definitely dispose of that weed. But honestly, what a fucking prick to say he'd call the cops. On his own family for his own drugs. Who does this guy think he is? Scarface?

And "the scenic route" sort of sounds like a euphemism, tbh. Not sure if anyone mentioned that. Read OP's posts, not so much the others.

Hugs to you.

Ihatehashtags · 01/04/2019 06:35

Yes. Who cares about Mother’s Day. If he’s hung over just leave him with the kids and go and do whatever you want. That’ll be punishment enough for him

PregnantSea · 01/04/2019 06:40

I think in isolation it's very precious and over the top to not want your DH to socialise the night before Mother's Day, but it sounds like there's a lot more going on here. I wouldn't even be focusing on Mother's Day, you need to sit down with him and insist that he pulls his weight throughout the year. It's not fair for you to be doing everything.

Chickencellar · 01/04/2019 06:43

Hmm might want to read the thread before weighing in with now useless advice.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/04/2019 06:44

How did you get on last night OP? Did he come back? Have you spoken to your landlord yet?

Weenurse · 01/04/2019 08:58

How are things?

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