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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want partner going out night before mother's Day?

110 replies

ohhcecelia · 22/03/2019 18:15

DH had planned a night in with some mates Friday before mother's Day - which was fine, I planned to go off my mum's to spend the night so I was out of the way.

Now people can't make it so instead he's planning a work night out, the Saturday night before mother's Day? AIBU to be upset at this? No plans for the next day, I obviously won't get one of the two lie-ins I get a year (birthday and MD) and he'll spend the entire day hungover.

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 31/03/2019 09:07

Sorry OP.

You will be well rid of this waste of space and upside is you will get your lie ins EOW if he steps up and takes responsibility for looking after his child.

Theoldwoman · 31/03/2019 09:10

It wouldn't worry me.
I would plan stuff for the Sunday though (MD here is in May, yours must be early?)
Drag him along too - he can't really complain.
As for the lie-ins? Just take turns.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 31/03/2019 09:11

@starshollow1 idea is brilliant about your relative giving u both notice

S1naidSucks · 31/03/2019 09:12

Theoldwoman

Read the thread.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 31/03/2019 09:13

@Theoldwoman haven't u seen op update?

IncrediblySadToo · 31/03/2019 09:19

TheOldWoman. At least do the OP the courtesy of reading HER posts even if you don’t care to read what anyone else has to say.

IncrediblySadToo · 31/03/2019 09:24

Change the locks this morning. I know he’s on the tenancy, but it’s a ball ache he probably won’t bother with enforcing his right to be in the property.

Take screen shots of whatever you can find on his Facebook.

Pack him a bag with a few bits firvtge week and tell him when it’s convenient for you for him to collect the rest.

If he wants to see DD arrange a place to meet and drop her off. Not at your house.

Do not take him back. He wasn’t worth it before last night. It doesn’t matter where he was last night. He’s a twat. Kick him out, keep him out.

Do that for DD even if you can’t quite do it for yourself. Do NOT kid yourself that staying together is better for her. It’s NOT.

Samind · 31/03/2019 09:30

Sorry you're going through this OP! Flowers

Dimsumlosesum · 31/03/2019 09:40

Oh gosh OP, so sorry you're going through this Flowers

Original poster
ohhcecelia · 31/03/2019 09:43

He finally got in touch. Rang and asked why I rang him this morning - to find out where you are/if you're still alive? He went "yeah I'm alive. You seem to manage though, so see ya". Wtf does that even mean?! What an absolute tosspot.

OP posts:
SkaterGrrrrl · 31/03/2019 09:47

So sorry OP but he sounds awful, honestly.

Start again with your DD. Good luck. X

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 31/03/2019 09:47

What an absolute dick.

He seems to think it's over anyway so that makes it easier for you to chuck him out.

Pack his bags and leave them on the doorstep. Or if you like a scene, take them to his work and make a show of him.

Sorry this is happening, but you'll be better off in the long run.

RandomMess · 31/03/2019 09:52

Thank goodness you aren't going to waste anymore of you life with him!!!

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 31/03/2019 09:54

Honestly what a man child. This is not the behaviour of a 30 something dad.

I agree with PP that FB seems to have been left open deliberately

GlitteryFluff · 31/03/2019 09:54

What an absolute twat.
I hope you're ok. Thanks

YouBumder · 31/03/2019 09:56

I think the problem is less about Mother’s Day and more that he’s a selfish arse.

0nTheEdge · 31/03/2019 09:58

Only you can decide that, but it would be the end if it were me. I know relationships can take a bit of work sometimes, but it doesn't sound like he treats you with respect or is even trying a tiny bit, even though it's obvious that something big is happening right now. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP.

moonfacebaby · 31/03/2019 09:58

What an arrogant twat he is - I’d be livid and the total lack of respect he shows you is awful.

Pack his stuff and leave it outside, and bolt the door, or change the lock - you’re worth way more than him...

YouBumder · 31/03/2019 09:59

Oh sorry just read the rest of the thread. What an arsehole. You’re well rid there xx

londonrach · 31/03/2019 10:10

He spent the night with her i bet. You well rid. Get him off the tenancy and change to locks. Your new life being free of this loser starts today

londonrach · 31/03/2019 10:11

You amazing op, just remember that x

Graphista · 31/03/2019 10:17

So if he's incapable of waking early what happens on your 2 lie ins a year? Surely that shows he CAN get up early if he makes the effort!

Fucking outrageous behaviour from him!

He's getting lie ins most other days from the sound of things he can certainly make EVERY Sunday YOUR lie in given it sounds like he gets AT LEAST one lie in on a weekday.

"Would that be it for you now?" Yes. That's very similar to how my marriage eventually ended. He's taking the piss! Funnily enough mine was in run up to Mother's Day too. It's shit!

Very similar final straw moment and I just bagged his stuff and put it on the lawn (he hated that cos he's all about "appearances" and all the neighbours could see. Good!

You're well rid op he sounds an utter twat even regardless of the likely cheating.

Singlenotsingle · 31/03/2019 10:19

Put his stuff in black bin bags and leave it by the gate. He's rubbish and you're binning him!

NoShoeShops · 31/03/2019 10:19

Get his stuff and put it on the doorstep. Tell him you will manage, without him.

Twat.

maddening · 31/03/2019 10:31

Pop a screen shot of their messages on his Facebook account and tag her in.