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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN, in hospital and cat

29 replies

AnotherNightCooking · 21/03/2019 22:25

At the beginning of this week I was working from home & heard a piercing scream.
I ran outside & found my NDN slumped in her doorway. She lives on her own & is in her 60s. She had tripped & thought she’d broken both wrists.
We have only moved in recently.
She was in agony & freezing cold. She begged me to get another neighbour to ‘drag’ her into a more comfortable position which I did.
I called an ambulance & went with her to the hospital.
9 hours later my partner picked me up. I was/am more than happy to do this for her. At the hospital I held gas & air whilst her breaks were cast. She will be in for 6 weeks due to living on her own.
Fast forward 4 days , we have phoned the ward , her phone & left messages etc but heard nothing which in cast we understand.
However I went into our corner shop only to be shown a pic of neighbour in traction.
The neighbour who originally helped me pull into the warm offered to help with her cat.
We thought we could all do 3 days each in rotation.
I let NDN know this tonight & she had a right go at me.
I’m away for 2 nights , do I let her 18yo cat fend fir herself.
I thought she’d be delighted people were rallying around her.
Now I’m just pissed off

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 21/03/2019 22:27

Why did she have a go at you? Your feeding her cat? And no it cant be left for two days needs daily feeds

Horehound · 21/03/2019 22:28

Wtf ungrateful to say the least. What did she have a go at you for exactly?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/03/2019 22:28

You need to explain why she had a go at you

GrumpyInsomniac · 21/03/2019 22:32

Is it possible they've got her on opioids for the pain and she's not quite herself? They can do really funny things to people. She might be mortified once she's back off them.

I'd stick with feeding the cat. If it's 18 it needs looking after. It's not the cat's fault its owner is in hospital.

Original poster
AnotherNightCooking · 21/03/2019 22:32

She had a go because the other neighbours offered the help feed the cat but she didn’t want strangers in her house.
The same neighbour that got her off her doorstep & I’ve only been in her house once.
I have no problem feeding her cat etc but being away this weekend what choice to I have ?
I thought she’d be delighted everyone was rallying around her

OP posts:
doodlejump1980 · 21/03/2019 22:33

Do you think she blames you for moving her?

Grace212 · 21/03/2019 22:33

you are a fab neighbour

second half of your post is confusing to me...what's the issue exactly?

is it possible that with shock and pain, she is confused and not meaning what she says?

Grace212 · 21/03/2019 22:34

oh cross post
she's annoyed that you won't be able to help out 100% of the time?

that's definitely unreasonable. And quite weird.

AJPTaylor · 21/03/2019 22:36

I would do exactly as intended and get the other neighbour to help.

FlashingLights101 · 21/03/2019 22:36

Maybe she's embarrassed about her house? Or she's just very private and doesn't like the idea of others being in there? I'd just feed the cat and make sure you don't longer, so you can reassure her you literally popped in.

Horehound · 21/03/2019 22:37

No good deed goes unpunished

FlashingLights101 · 21/03/2019 22:37

Oh, and get the other neighbour to do the weekend you can't do.

Sewrainbow · 21/03/2019 22:42

Does she want you or the neighbour to feed the cat it isn't quite clear?

Yes she's being ungrateful but she's vulnerable, probably on drugs and maybe a bit proud. I'd hate someone I don't know in my house especially if it had been left in a hurry like she did. My neighbours feed the cat when we're away but only in the porch, not in the house.

MyDcAreMarvel · 21/03/2019 22:47

I am really confused why were you shown a picture? Have you started omen to injured neighbour?
Who had a go at you and why?

Original poster
AnotherNightCooking · 21/03/2019 23:05

The lady in the corner shop showed me a picture despite having not heard anything from the injured neighbour for 4 days.
Not that she needs to check in but we are looking after her house etc , went to
hospital but hadn’t heard anything.
My AIBU is I have to go away this weekend, her cat is 18 & needs feeding 2x a day.
Neighbours have offered to help but she had a go at us. We thought she’d be delighted that everyone rallied around & cared & now we feel guilty

OP posts:
CheekyChappy710 · 21/03/2019 23:08

YABU go away as planned let the neughvours chip in, she doesn't need to know.youve done way more than enough shes either not thinking straight or is a complete twat.

MyDcAreMarvel · 21/03/2019 23:23

But how she had a go at you if you haven’t spoken to her?

FlashingLights101 · 21/03/2019 23:28

Are you cross because she contacted the lady at the corner shop and not you lot who have helped her? Maybe she didn't have your numbers but someone was able to get the number for the corner shop?

Tavannach · 21/03/2019 23:30

She's being massively silly. The cat needs feeding, people are feeding it. It's in its own home so less stress for the cat, which may well have failing sight and hearing. Smile and nod, OP. Maybe she has history with the other neighbour but that's not your problem.

Gingerkittykat · 21/03/2019 23:36

Tell her you can't feed the cat this weekend, so her options are either to allow the neighbour to do it or send to a cattery. Look up cost, including collecting cat, for cattery and let her know.

I have left my cats for 2 nights before with copious amounts of dry food and water. It won't work if the cat needs wet food though.

IAmNotAWitch · 21/03/2019 23:40

So she is angry that you won't be feeding her cat this weekend?

If so, that is unfortunate for her. You have been very kind but are unavailable, you have gone above and beyond by sorting out a replacement for her. If she doesn't like it she will have to sort out something herself.

If you are worried that this will not happen then I would suggest putting down extra food and water for the cat before you go away.

coddersrodders · 22/03/2019 00:16

What did the lady in the corner shop show you a picture of?

bitheby · 22/03/2019 00:56

I'm very confused by the OP. As you've only recently moved in is she considering that you are a stranger? (Which technically you are, albeit one who gave up a considerable amount of time to help her).

She doesn't owe you friendship. If she'd prefer the other neighbour to help her as she knows them better then you'll have to respect that.

TinselAndKnickers · 22/03/2019 01:08

What was the picture of? Or am I just thick Blush

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 22/03/2019 09:42

Ask her what she would like to do about the cat. Present her with some possible options. She could invest in a Cat Mate automatic feeder that will deliver a meal a day for up to five days.

Can she really not go home, with a temporary care package? She must be very miserable and anxious. There will be all sorts of stuff from home she needs. She's going to need someone she trusts to collect it for her, perhaps that person could discreetly coordinate helpers.

I'm sure she wants to be grateful but is really stressed about strangers in her home. Tell her that atm you only go as far as the kitchen to put down food, change litter then leave. Ask her if that is enough company for the cat and would she like you to do more?

You are being very kind, don't be too upset by her reaction.

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