To be fuming about this comment

[takeasadsongandmakeitbetter]

DH has a few days off work. I am on maternity leave with 10 months old DS. Today we went to a playgroup. There were other babies there of a similar age. Many of them competently crawling. DS has tummy crawled for a while and very recently starting crawling on his knees, not so much today as it's slower than commando style. He is very bright generally and climbs, stands, claps, blows raspberries, waves and says some words.

After the group DH asked if I was worried about how 'behind' DS is. I explained that I didn't think he was behind at all. He then asked if the other babies (who can crawl well) were breastfed. I said yes 2 of them were EBF to 6 months. By this point I was on edge as I could see where he was going with it. He then said maybe DS was slower as not breastfed. And then said that breastfed babies are obviously more advanced.

For medical reasons we had to combination feed. I managed to BF to 12 weeks, i was extremely upset about the whole situation as DH knows.

AIBU to want to punch him?? Don't want to go into details of our relationship and how good or terrible he has been generally. Just want some perspective on this comment as I know I am sensitive about the topic!

His comments are rude. No baby is the same, they all progress at different ages. My first was crawling at 6 mths and walking at 10 months. My second crawled at 7 mths , walked at a year. My friends baby didn’t crawl at all but shuffled along on her bum and didn’t walk til she was 14 months. So they are all different.

Don't bother bringing your DH to the playgroup any more. You've already got one immature male to manage.

Wow. Vilified for making an observation and asking a question... I think leaving your child's piss on his pillow and not telling him might be worse than the original "crime"!

If it makes you feel better, DC2 is 10 months old today. He cannot crawl, he just bunny hops in place. He also does not pull himself up and will only stand holding my hands. He does clap, kiss and I think has said 2 words and he has never had formula.

My friends little girl was bottle fed and took her first steps at 8 months (seriously, she has it on camera!).

Personally I think EBF will increase protection against some things later in life and it is the perfect food for babies as it's tailored to each individual child. However DC1 was mix fed and friends have done both, there is no difference in abilities or IQ that I can see between any of the children.

Formula is a great substitute and it is seriously ridiculous for your DH to think that it has caused/hindered your child's learning. In fact, here is a study showing that there is no difference in IQ by the age of 5. Your DH can read this and then apologise for being so insensitive and incorrect.

this is in part due to the breastfeeding police being so successful in selling the story that breastfeeding is magically beneficial

Evolution is not magic. In fact, the opposite belief is the one reliant on the supernatural.

punch away. I was mix fed and walked at 11 months. My own was EBF who crawled at 8.5 months and walked at 15 months.

how was he fed himself that he is so dim?

If it helps my DH always compares our kids to others on the odd occasion he sees them with other children and has said similar things re is DD behind etc. All children develop at different ages. My two were EBF up to 6 months and DD BF until 14months - she didn’t crawl until 12/13 months. My son is also 10 months and is not crawling, saying any words nor has any teeth. They just develop at different rates, they are so young x good luck with it all but your son sounds totally normal and I’m sure is absolutely gorgeous and thriving xxx

My EBF baby wasn’t really moving around at all at 10 months. Just wasn’t interested... Your DH is being a twit. At best.

Develop at their own pace. I never breastfed my 2 boys and eldest crawled around 10 months youngest about 8. Eldest took first steps at 13 months youngest at 10 months. By 10 and a half he was going up the stairs. Every child learns at their own pace. What they are fed is not relevant.

Tell him he needs to help him by playing crawling tag round the sofa every evening

I used to do that with DS and it is really hard on the knees when you are an adult

A friend of mine had to put her DS on a bottle due to cancer treatment. He walked at 7 months. No effect whatsoever

He is getting a hard rim. He probably has been hearing "breast is best" . If you don't look up all the information what is he supposed to think ... It sounds like you are the main carer so are more informed, instead of violently assaulting him as pps suggest, maybe offering him some actual information to educate him.

I adore that he has a few days off work, goes to one playgroup, and is now a confirmed expert on child development.

DD was behind, skipped crawling and went straight to cruising around then. Combination fed x I was formula fed and brightest kid in school. DH is obviously worried about stuff people have whispered in his ears (or he's a waste of space but hopefully not if you had a baby!).

DD didn't walk for ages (close to two years old) and was breastfed. And yep, he shouldn't have said that, knowing it's something that you struggled with.

I had issues with breastfeeding and combo fed them both then onto formula full time when they were both around 3 months. DS didn't speak till after he was 2. DD couldn't walk till around 15 months. They are both now at school and above average in all subjects. His comment is completely out of line and quite frankly stupid. You did your best and in the end fed your baby the only way you could. Baby does not sound behind at all to me and nothing to worry about. So many factors come into child development and way a baby is fed a tiny tiny factor.

Your husband is a jerk.

My DD was EBF as was my DS until 6 months, my DD only ever 'proper crawled' on carpet, at home we had floor boards and she commando crawled almost always at home, she was well over 12 months when she walked, she was a very tiny baby.

My DS was an elephant, he just grew and grew, he crawled 'properly' almost from the time he started crawling and was around 11 months when he started walking.

All babies are different whether breast or bottle fed, crawling isn't even a recognised milestone here because not all babies do it, some will bum scoot, commando always etc. I would be very mad at my DH in that situation and very very upset, he was VVU to say what he did.

My DS commando crawled and didn’t walk until he was 16 months. He was BF until 6 months. He is now 9 and has a reading and maths ability around age 11 and is very good at football. You son is not behind in any way and BF has nothing to do with it

Tell him it’s more likely the quality of his sperm that has caused slow development & not what baby consumes food wise.

And no your baby is not slow at all, all children are different, your husband sounds like a complete knobhead by the way.

Wow what a cunt. I completely feel for you as I really struggled to BF; only managed 10 days let alone 12 weeks. It's something I still feel guilt over.... and DS is now 9!

For what it's worth, my broadly bottle-fed DS crawled properly and very quickly at around the middle of the 'normal' age; 7-8 months? He walked at the very end of normal, 16 months. He was far forwarder at talking to be honest. Now at 9 he is doing fine; it was on his 100 kids' books poster so he's started reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, and he loves it (although I'm embarrassed I forgot the neighbour says fuck at the start).

I seriously doubt if BFing can affect the speed at which these things are done when put next to the power of genetics. I think I read it can equate to a few IQ points or so?

I haven't had chance to RTFT, but just wanted to say, your H is a silly fool, yes we all know the benefits of breastfeeding, however I'm yet to see anything that says breastfed babies can do the riverdance before formula fed babies.
Your LO sounds like he is doing perfectly, my eldest commando crawled from 10mths until 14mths.....as he got to places quicker than trying to proper crawl or walk, the only problem was the bobbled tops ha! He didn't walk until 18mths, but when he did he was quite sturdy and confident quite quickly.
Babies do everything in their own time!

He's a dick. Your baby is reaching its milestones.

Both of my friends with EBF babies are behind my EFF baby in development. Every baby is different. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dear god aren't people stupid and horrid?! How vile for you to deal with her silliness. My nearly 20, I look back at this kind of gobbins and can't believe it exists. Even mum braggers at Gcse have kids that mostly go on to be very average.

Fed is best. Punch away