To be fuming about this comment

[takeasadsongandmakeitbetter]

DH has a few days off work. I am on maternity leave with 10 months old DS. Today we went to a playgroup. There were other babies there of a similar age. Many of them competently crawling. DS has tummy crawled for a while and very recently starting crawling on his knees, not so much today as it's slower than commando style. He is very bright generally and climbs, stands, claps, blows raspberries, waves and says some words.

After the group DH asked if I was worried about how 'behind' DS is. I explained that I didn't think he was behind at all. He then asked if the other babies (who can crawl well) were breastfed. I said yes 2 of them were EBF to 6 months. By this point I was on edge as I could see where he was going with it. He then said maybe DS was slower as not breastfed. And then said that breastfed babies are obviously more advanced.

For medical reasons we had to combination feed. I managed to BF to 12 weeks, i was extremely upset about the whole situation as DH knows.

AIBU to want to punch him?? Don't want to go into details of our relationship and how good or terrible he has been generally. Just want some perspective on this comment as I know I am sensitive about the topic!

I'd be asking my husband one question if he dared say that to me; Burial or cremation?

Take "D"H to the local senior school or college of FE at letting out time, and ask him to point out which students were BF and which were FF!
(Obviously don't let him go and ask them cos he will be branded a pervert or paedophile!)

My son bf to 14m, crawled 6 months walking 15m. Friend bf to over 2 years old. He crawled at 12m, then walked 2 days later. Other friend also bf girl walked at 9 months ( insane but did see videos)

All bullshit and shows how uneducated he is. Tell him to do research into child development before he says hurtful and bullshit things to you

Maybe going against the grain here and you know your husband best.. but did he mean it as an insult to you or was he just stating it as he saw it..

For example.. maybe he just feels from what he knows that breastfed children are more advanced.. the same way as he might think tall people jump higher.. and his not blaming you for not breastfeeding or having tall genes.. just stating what he thinks is fact.,

Obviously that’s just an example, you might be really tall.

Saltystraw whether he means it as an insult or not, he’s wrong.
There is no link at all between breastfeeding and babies developing gross motor skills like crawling earlier.

It sounds to me like he’s trying to find ways to hurt you

NewSchoolNewName (sorry not sure how to tag)

Yes I know his wrong.. I wasn’t breastfed at all as a baby and I think I was pretty quick to do most things.. I just think it makes him uneducated and less of all these names his being called.

What utter garbage, he needs to do some reading!!
I have twins, both bottle fed. DD was walking at 9 months and able to push her brother in a truck at 11 months. No mean feat considering he weighed more than her at the time. Took DS much longer to get the coordination together but he's a lot more together than she is now

What a dick comment!! My DS didn't even roll until 10 months, didn't crawl until a full year, didn't walk until 18 months. He was EBF. Doesn't mean a thing! He's 5 now and races around everywhere. Your DH owes you a grovelling apology or fifteen.

Rwalker I think you've got it! All the classes and HV and midwives put so much pressure on BF and I think it's given DH a bit of a complex.

Which has been so unfair for me!

He was definitely thoughtless and i have explained how hurtful the comment was. But I don't think he was trying to be nasty. Just a dick.

Thank you for all your comments I will definitely be mentioning interior sperm if it comes up again!

DS did a wee on DH's pillow when I was changing him

^^ I love that! Even your little son knows better!! 🤣🤣

DD EBF. Didnt walk until nearly 1 year.

He's a dick. Dd,,ebf, didn't bother crawling until nearly a year then couple weeks later started walking. She clearly couldn't be bothered with crawling, some babies aren't. She's just had two year review and is fairly advanced for her age. Some kids prefer to go straight to walking.

I breastfed til 13 months. He never crawled just used to sit there. Eventually began commando crawling minus the knees until he got to an edge and pulled himself up. Walked at 13 months. Totally irrelevant don't give his comment another thought.

Not that I'm one to bear a grudge but I suggest when you get to nursery any hint of not being a developed reader you wap out some studies for him on reading with your father, then gather him in some kind of circle surrounded by handmaidens shouting and pointing 'shame!shame!'

Very hurtful. I didn’t bf either of mine due to health reasons. One was put on wysoy when born, the other wouldn’t latch and was on antibiotics when born so paeds said she needed a bottle.

One walked at 10 months and crawled properly, the other didn’t crawl, she did a bum shuffle and walked at 12 months but was considerably chunkier and found it hard to crawl.

Both are very different and that’s what he needs to remember. Each child is different and progresses at their own speed.

I bottle fed my son. He crawled at five months walked at about eight or nine. Not a brag. He was nine and a half pounds at birth and just very strong.

Rest easy this sanctimonious prat doesn t know what he's on about, Bfed for a year and mine army crawled, then crawled on all 4s for 2weeks then thought feck it I'm walking. You LO is doing fine

Men always think they know best. We know they don’t. Let it go as you would any other uninformed comment from an idiot. He’s probably just concerned about the child’s progress. The important thing is to reassure him that it’s perfectly normal. All babies are different. Our ds only ever commando crawled and was very late walking. Midwife put it into perspective. Why would he be in a rush to toddle when he can crawl much faster? He completely bypassed the pulling up on things stage so that one day he simply stood up and started running. Not sure how relevant it is but he was breastfed

Obviously he was out of order for suggesting it was to do with bf vs ff. All children are different!

However I wonder what the response would be if a husband on MN had suggested punching his wife, opening a cupboard into her face, choosing a knuckle duster, stepping on her privates, etc. It honestly baffles me that some of the pp's think these comments are appropriate. Maybe all the violence was said in a 'light hearted' way, but is it actually funny? Not trying to derail your thread OP, just leaving my thoughts here.

We've got 2 kids, one breast fed, one bottle. Both are equally bright and both made equal progress throughout babyhood, toddlerdom and into teens and later years. Matching exam results, etc.

Proof that there is no difference at all.

Except you are less stressed with a bottle fed baby and get more sleep.

Punch him. Punch him in the gonads.
All babies are different. It doesn't matter if they're breastfed or formula fed.

May I add, all this waiting for the milestones. It's useful in one way as the absence or significant delay of several together would have some cause for further thought/concern, but it's not a total answer.

My DS, for example, NEVER sat. Ever. So the sitting up, legs akimbo, reaching for toys thing never happened. He simply knelt instead (weird boy!!). He's made it to a perfectly (if still slightly unique) adult and never had any other variations to normal childhood development.

The BF comment just demonstrates utter stupidity and I'd maybe make sure when I punched him that I had one of those small clutch bags with the knuckle duster style handles about my person at the time! Don't hurt him too badly but he needs to understand there are all types of variation to the 'norm' which are also 'normal' and he needs to stop being a prat and thinking from one few hours session of observing children, that he's suddenly become an expert in child development and nutrition!

Oh God he really does not get how emotional breast feeding topic is!! Plus he's being dim

Heard of that thing called a sense of humour Room? Jeez.