To ask what you will do when your kids leave home?

[Mangetoutrodney]

I love being a mum & will do anything for my kids. I do find it tiring though esp working full time & the weight of responsibility of raising 2 small people (they are 7 & 11). I try to cherish every moment though.

When I have an empty nest, i’d love to take another gap year. I have been lucky to have had 2 in my life before to travel extensively and I miss it. I think I am a wanderer at heart & am not bothered by material stuff. So that’s what I hope to do (health etc permitting) - to wander again for a year.

Aibu to ask what you would like to do?

(I’m not wishing my life away- just dreaming a bit when the routine gets to me a bit!!)

Ha, I think I’ll be leaving home first! Had my DS living at home until late twenties, he finally moved out. A month later DD split up with her partner and moved back in! I love her dearly and really don’t mind (likewise my DS) but I think I will love it when it’s just me! I do travel a lot now though. That’s the best thing about having your freedom back, and less day to day expenses.

Travel everywhere. Have an all-white living room. Laze around reading and eating bonbons.

We want to go overseas to live for 3 months in new zealand maybe, then spend the rest of that year renting various places in the uk (so we are not too far) before we decide where to settle and whether to sell our house.

57 and 3 weeks into empty nest - everyone gone, including STBXH and family dog who died 5 weeks ago. I knew when I was in the throes of despair about being a working mother in a demanding job with a demanding homelife that I should saviour the time because when everyone moved on it would be from one extreme to the other. So it’s OK.

I like not having to rush home at the end of the day; that the house doesn’t require constant tidying; I don’t miss the cooking for fussy eaters or the emotional high and lows of adolescents combined with menopausal mother. No wonder DH took off. Couldn’t take dodging hormonal bullets.

I’m looking forward to DC children establishing themselves as adults and so an adult relationship; STBXH getting over his sulk and being able to chat about what lovely children we have. I’ve reduced my hours and in a less demanding job. Unfortunately had to leave DH in order to feel free enough to make the change. So I am learning a language with the intention of taking DC with me on holiday. STBXH can come too, if he’d stop sulking.

Sit down
Read a book
Go for runs when I feel like it
Cook for fun
Travel with DH
Miss them like mad

But mainly sit down

I’ll be 54 by the time my youngest is 18, probably ancient by the time they actually both leave. Travel, downsize, work less.

Mine have left home.

I am having a lie down

Much the same as now - read, travel, chat with them, just sometimes they won't be at home.

Our marriage improved immeasurably.

Mine are teenagers so they are quite independent anyway so I can leave them for an afternoon whilst I meet friends etc.

I’m looking forward to not washing rugby, cricket and football kit. The washing machine won’t have to go on twice a day!

Loud sex!! With teenagers walking around until late our sex life has turned in to quiet morning sex

I will desperately miss them though. I’ve been very lucky that we haven’t had any problems with them and they are lovely to be around. I enjoy spending my time with them. I will miss the political debates we have and seeing their passion for life. All I ever wanted to be was a mum. I didn’t have aspirations to be anything else. I trained to be a teacher to fit around them. I enjoy looking after them. I have other things to keep me occupied and I’m not a helicopter parent at all but I just know when they go, even though I won’t let them know, I will be gutted that the stage of me being a hands on mum is over.

Alsohuman that's the bit I'm looking forward to. I'm hoping that we'll get back some of the freedom and fun of our many years together before kids.
Aside from that I'm looking forward to having disposable income again!

I'll just carry on what I'm doing now.
Work, travel once a month minimum, gigs, cinema, mountain bike and have parties!

both of mine have many disabilities each and are 8 and 14

tbh i cant see them leaving home for a long time as they wont be functioning adults

im 38 now and do want another child and if so its a massive probability he/she would have disabilities as well

I’ll be 60 by the time my nest is empty.

I’d like to work more. I enjoy my job but am currently part time to be there for the DCs. I think I I could achieve a lot more if I went up to 4 or 5 days a week.

Failing that, an English degree. Should have done it first time round.

I plan to have pigmy goats to fill my time. Oh and full time work until my pension kicks in at 110 (assuming that'll be the pension age by then).

I'm already there and it's brilliant, no piles of washing to do, house is tidy, don't have a certain time for dinner, i have lunch twice a week with friend's, go to concerts, have weekend's away, enjoying freedom again, love it.

I've got a while to go yet. But myself and DH will only be mid 40's when our eldest (potentially) goes to uni and 48 when our youngest is likely to go.

Hopefully we will do the travelling that we didn't do before we settled down. Lots of South/central America is in my dream. I'd like to get it all out of our system before any grandchildren come along and we can be as supportive as both our sets of parents have been to us childcare wise.

Have a craft/sewing room.

Hopefully get some energy back, kids are 11 and 9 at the moment, I am 44 and knackered. Really hope to get some energy back in my 50s, will be 53 when youngest is 18, so probably a pipe dream. Other than that:
Have a tidy house, an immaculate and stylish house would be better still.
Work when I want
Go on date nights with my DH
Go our in the evening. Cannot do that very often as DH works shifts
Maybe try out some hobbies
Have more sex, kids are around and DH is at work a lot so rarely get the chance
Would like to go on more holidays, city breaks but that depends on money obviously.

I will definitely leave my partner who doesn’t love me and then I will hopefully have another chance to find happiness. Our DD is on a school trip this week and I have gone to exercise classes after work, gone to the cinema, met up with friends for drinks, but above all, missed her desperately. She is only 10 but am dreading her leaving home after this week without her!

Mummadeeze

That's really sad to hear...Why can't you leave now?

Voluntary work
Travel beyond Europe
Go to lots of concerts
Play violin more often

The things I'm looking forward to are travelling to all the places that DS has no interest in and spontaneous trips to the pub without having to plan weeks in advance.

I had DS young so I'll have an empty nest by my 40s (unless he stays living at home).

I'll be 50 (youngest nearly 20) if I don't have more kids in the next 5 years before my clock explodes.

I'll go into decline at first and be depressed then it will be a slow decline till 70 when I take myself off to digitas.

Before digital I will travel, no they plans.

DD22 has graduated and now lives over 200 miles away, DS16 will leave for uni in 18 months.

I will be 44 then and me and DP have discussed long haul holidays and impulsive weekend breaks.