Should I go back to work?

[GeorgiaDeBelle]

I'm kind of stuck with what to do- and need some advice. my DD is turning 1 soon and I'm due to return to work after maternity leave. I always loved my job and I have good friends there.

The only issue is, me and DH have looked into nurseries/childcare, and it seems for me to go back to work full time- it would almost be pointless, as the cost for nursery is pretty much the same as my wage. We both live in a city around 2 hours from our parents so friends/family childcare is not an option. I work in a recruitment at a university and really enjoy it. I also love DD and I know it would be a shame to be away from her nearly all of the day.

I'd even consider going back part time, but a part time wage would have the same issue and I'm not sure work would even offer this.. We can't really cover the household bills with DH wage alone so i'd have to go on some sort of benefits. I'm kind of stuck with what to do, I'd love to career progress but financially we'd definitely be worse off and even with career progression, I dont believe my wages would go up for a couple of years.

I've considered staying at home with DD until she's 3, and we can apply for childcare funding, but know by then we'd be looking at baby number 2!

What kind of benefits do you get as a SAHM? My mum worked and all my friends do, so this is the first time I've ever/would be on benefits?

Has anyone else given up work until their child starts school?

DH is on around 28,000 a year before tax and I was on 22,000. We live in the South East. Our rent is £800.00 for a two bed flat and we can't really cut these costs down as it's already cheap for our area and DH has a reasonably good job with a good progression for the future.

I wouldn't just assume that benefits will cover any number of babies you fancy.

Yeah, that hasn't been so for a while now. All claims are now UC, they won't qualify with a £28k wage coming in and there's no extra money for over 2 children born after 2017 unless the second pregnancy is twins. There is help with childcare costs because it does make sense for people to keep contributing to their pensions and be able to support themselves. But it's Child Benefit and help with childcare costs and that's all.

I haven't read all the replies but not sure if anyone has mentioned tax free childcare.... you should easily be entitled and for me it takes over £100 a month off my nursery fees which is a big help.

I came back to work part-time, partly because I found being at home every day quite difficult, but also because I was worried about finding a job with decent enough pay if I was out of work for a few years.

I find working three days a week a good balance and going to nursery has been amazing for my daughter, she loves it and actually laughs when we arrive so I feel confident leaving her there.

So I would sway towards returning to work if you can go part-time, but of course it depends on how you feel and what works for your family.

Also I'm pretty sure you're not entitled to any benefits if you give up your job. I would still only get child benefit if I wasn't working.

A part time wage actually probably won't leave you with the same issue. Because of the way the benefits system works, the 5th day of the week is the worst paid, then the 4th etc. If you work eg 3 days, you will take home more than 3/5 of your 5 days take home. So you might be earning less than you'd make on the 5th day, but probably not on the 1st. Check listen to taxman site to see what your take home would be. DH too.

Also you're not going to get any benefits anyway on that income and with just one child, except child benefit. you might get some childcare support, but only if you work.

If childcare really isn't affordable and DH wage won't cover the bills, you'll have to work when he isn't. And don't have another one until your eldest is getting the free hours.

Do everything you can to return to work. It's worth it on so many levels - headspace, career progression, self-esteem, pension.

Anything is better than chores all day everyday and repeat...

If you don't actually like it - you can change your mind.

£22k salary gives you £1500 per month after tax. Childcare costs about £800, petrol and parking could easily cost £400. That leaves £300 per month and you’d have other expenses such as work clothes etc. You’d end up with maybe a tenner a day for working full time and having to rush round doing all the chores at weekends. That would barely pay for a family summer holiday! I’d prefer to skip the holiday, SAH and have time to spend with my DC.

And that's a legitimate decision, but it's not the same thing as it literally costing you money to work. You still make the money, you just don't think it enough.

And it's only ever childcare that people do this 'well, it's not worth me working for £10 a day' calculation with. No one does it with other essential bills - 'oh after my mortgage I only actually earn £10 a day so it's barely worth it'

Also, if 12x£300 a month - £3600 - is 'barely a summer holiday' to you then you don't need the money. Which is obviously great for you, but not that many people can just decide to be £3.5k a year worse off without giving up more than a holiday.

You’d end up with maybe a tenner a day for working full time and having to rush round doing all the chores at weekends.

Nope, you divide up the lifework and childcare for both your off times, you and your husband. You sit down and parcel tasks out, discuss what makes them easier for you - online shopping and bill paying, meal planning apps, cleaning apps, gadgets and products for cleaning (such as buying a dryer, perhaps) just as you do with a budget as two adults working FT who are married and have a child.

By the time I pay for work clothes, additional wear and tear on my car, increased car insurance, etc I’d probably only pocket half of that £3.5k. So I’d literally be earning enough for a summer holiday, or a family takeaway every Friday night if you want to look at it that way. And that’s with only one child to pay for.

Looking at it in terms of ephemeral things like takeaways and hols is very short-sighted when you consider how many people will not have made enough pension contributions to ever retire or will retire in penury, or consider their long-term ability to support themselves in case of relationship breakdown/death of spouse/redundancy of spouse, continuity of skill set, personal financial strength (employment giving you access to personal lines of credit and all manner of personal finance as well as being good for own credit rating). There are all kinds of major advantages to working.

Why would you post such a thread, then after people give up their time to respond to you, never return?

I suspect OP was after starting more of a bunfight than she actually got...

Going back to work was a no brainer for me.
-Boosted confidence and self esteem after post natal depression
-I appreciated and enjoyed dc more
-Dc learnt to socialise, and frankly had a ball ! at childminders
-Stimulating adult conversations
-Pension benefits
So pleased I did it.

Why are you considering child number 2 when you can’t afford the one you have? You can’t afford to stay at home, or go to work in seems.

I would return to work even if you only break even. It’s worth it in the long run.

You may be able to get childcare vouchers (depends on where you work), childcare help via universal credit or if you both earn too much for that you should look into tax free childcare. Check out what help there is first before making a decision