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Original poster

They think I'm lying don't they

66 replies

Asiama · 20/03/2019 15:10

My aunt told me my parents asked to use her phone for a month (I won't bore you with the details of why but I can see it's perfectly reasonable / plausible in the circumstances to use their sim with her phone).

I mentioned to my parents in a text that I understand they are using aunt's phone (no biggie, just chit chat). They said they are not - apparently my aunt gave them her phone asking them to fix something that's not working, they've managed to work out what was wrong and will be giving it back to her in the next few days.

I said aunt must be either confused or lying to me because that's not what she told me. They said no she's neither confused nor lying, and now they refuse to discuss the matter. It's because they think I'm lying isn't it?

OP posts:
TheQueef · 20/03/2019 15:11

Wut?

Lemoneeza · 20/03/2019 15:14

probably best to just let it go tbh.

Bigonesmallone3 · 20/03/2019 15:14

Eh..
What could u be lying about?

Knittedfairies · 20/03/2019 15:18

I'm not sure I understand the problem... Does it matter who said what to whom if your aunt's phone is fixed?

Original poster
Asiama · 20/03/2019 15:19

I may be taking this way too seriously because my parents always see the worst in me, blame me for everything etc and as a result we are very LC. It just feels like they think I have made up what my aunt told and I was hoping someone more sensible could give an alternative interpretation to the situation!

OP posts:
TheMightyToosh · 20/03/2019 15:21

I think you're overthinking the whole thing. Does it matter to you which of them uses what phone and why? If not, just say 'oh my mistake, crossed wires. As you were!' And leave it there Thanks

Bigonesmallone3 · 20/03/2019 15:21

Just step back, it really doesn't sound like a biggy

ambereeree · 20/03/2019 15:24

Sounds like they see no issue which needs to be discussed.

KC225 · 20/03/2019 15:28

I think you are stressing out over a possible misunderstanding.

Springwalk · 20/03/2019 15:36

Honestly I think you just need to leave it, no one is accusing anyone as far as I can see, and really best just to stay out of it.

Original poster
Asiama · 20/03/2019 15:38

I'm not sure it's a misunderstanding, there's a difference between asking to borrow someone's phone to use for a month, and agreeing to fix someone's phone for them.

The shutting down of the conversation is how they handle everything that might make them feel uncomfortable. I've been trying to work through some difficult childhood issues with them eg them telling me I was born as a curse from God etc and this is their standard response, "we will not discuss it". I realise that I am now super sensitive to anything that may be a hint of a criticism / accusation from them so it's good to have you to balance me out!

You are all right, I should just step away from it.

OP posts:
Badtasteflump · 20/03/2019 15:39

my parents always see the worst in me, blame me for everything etc and as a result we are very LC

So this is just their latest attempt to make you feel crap? Keep LC - and try to start disconnecting emotionally to. The key is not to ask yourself why they would do that, or what they think of you. Just tell yourself they’re up to their old tricks again and that’s why you made the right decision going LC Flowers

Badtasteflump · 20/03/2019 15:40

*too!

diddl · 20/03/2019 15:53

Aunt tells you that your parents asked to use her phone.

Parents tell you that she gave them her phone to fix.

Which is the most likely?

It's not necessarily that they think you are lying, but it's all he said/she said with you & them sticking to your own sides & resolving nothing-so what is there to discuss?

That's just one thing though.

If it constantly happens then that's another matter.

However if your parents blame you for everything & see the worst in you then LC seems a good thing for your own sake.

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/03/2019 15:55

Step away from the drama...

ReggieWoo · 20/03/2019 15:57

Why does it matter?

Just take no notice.

NoooorthonerMum · 20/03/2019 16:07

Very very odd. Why on earth would you make up such an uninteresting story. I think they didn't want you to know they were borrowing aunt's phone (god knows why). I doubt they think you're lying as it would be a pointless lie that would serve no purpose.

Serialweightwatcher · 20/03/2019 16:07

Not that it really matters, but unlikely someone lets someone borrow their phone for a month - more likely there's something wrong with it ... either way, it's all very odd and not very important and bugger what they think of you, you obviously can't change that - the fact that this is bothering you is a lot of the problem - I understand how awful it must be for you that they treat you like they do, but you also need to stop letting it bothering you because whatever they're trying is working and you don't need that shit in your life

Original poster
Asiama · 20/03/2019 16:10

@diddl you've summarised it very well. I don't know which is more likely and it doesn't matter which one it really was. It's the potential insinuation that I'm lying that was bugging me. This happens all the time, this is just the latest example.

Just heard back from my parents, they said they don't think I'm lying but my cousin is. I don't understand where my cousin comes into this!! I'm not going to engage any further on this.

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 20/03/2019 16:13

Im much more interested in this .... eg them telling me I was born as a curse from God but children are usually seen as a blessing.

Are you called Damien, have 3 sixes on your head, and can you swivel it like an owl ?

MrsSpenserGregson · 20/03/2019 16:15

Your parents told you that you're a curse from God???

Love - you need to go NC and get some counselling, seriously. This is awful. You need to protect yourself emotionally, and a counsellor can help you with this.

TeddTess · 20/03/2019 16:24

they're just incapable of having a decent conversation with you,

i'd be going lower than LC.

Original poster
Asiama · 20/03/2019 16:24

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking every time I showed some personality eg liking a particular colour, wanting to wear a particular dress etc that wasn't what my mum wanted, I was told that I was born as a curse from God because she disobeyed her parents and now God is punishing her, that she hates me, that I will have bad children because of the way I treat her etc. I remember being told these things from age 5 until at least 18. If I was late home from school because of train delays, I would have to prove it to her by calling National Rail and getting them to confirm train arrival times. She told me that her default stance was to distrust me unless I can prove otherwise, even though I did nothing to deserve it. I was always the model, straight A at school, shy child that never caused any trouble except to have my own, normal taste in clothes and develop my own opinion on things.

I hope this provides some background on why something that seems like a minor misunderstanding to most people makes me overanalyse!

OP posts:
diddl · 20/03/2019 16:25

Obviously people make mistakes/mishear/bend the truth to their advantage & on the whole it doesn't matter.

But if it's part of a dysfunctional relationship it must weigh heavy & it's difficult not to keep turning stuff over(imo).

My sibling twisted something that I had said to justify an action of theirs & I didn't have a way of showing them the messages between us at the time to prove that they were wrong.

Doubtless they would have said that they had misread/misunderstood/misremembered anyway.

I barely tell them anything now & they complain about thatHmm

GloriousGoosebumps · 20/03/2019 16:28

I can see why you'd want to get to the bottom of the mystery. Would either of your parents have the knowledge to "fix" your aunt's mobile phone? How would your aunt (or anyone else!) manage for the month her mobile was supposedly on loan to your parents? I'd loan them a spare phone but not my only phone!

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