To be sick of DH's lack of budgeting skills

[singsong777]

DH and I spent beyond our means last year on a few short breaks away, going to restaurants a lot and that kind of thing. It left us with a £3.5k credit card bill at the end of the year, which we paid off straightaway but left a big dent in our savings.

This year I'm determined that we live within our means, putting away £400 per month between us into savings and living off a strict but decent budget. We essentially have about £80 per week each to spend on frivolities after all other bills (including food) have been paid.

However, DH is struggling to stick to this and now, a week before payday, is badgering me about money, asking if we can take £50 each out of our savings to get us through the week. We both have about £30 for the next seven days, which will have to buy a few cheap bits of food, a bus ticket here and there but not much else. Ok it's not a huge amount, but IMO it's perfectly adequate considering we have all other expenses paid.

DH thinks I'm being ridiculous as we have almost £7k in savings and says "£50 here and there won't hurt". But like I say, I'm really keen to build up our savings this year to make up for last year's overspending. I'd also like to buy a new bathroom and make other improvements to our house.

We own our home (mortgaged) and have no DC.

AIBU to force DH to stick to this budget or should I give in and let him take £50 out of our savings?

Did you have the chat with him OP?

I just popped back to the thread - thanks everyone for the extra responses.

Graphista, I never thought of budgeting in crash diet terms, but that analogy is very true I think.

It's interesting what you said about overdraft charges too. I have to admit, I'm surprised DH's bank doesn't charge more for his overdraft than what he says. He's just so unsavvy when it comes to finances that perhaps he doesn't even notice if the odd £10 bank charge is coming out here and there.

I suppose I will have to take his word for it though as there's no other way of knowing - other than checking his personal bank statements, which would clearly be overstepping the mark.

I haven't managed to have a chat with him yet as work for both of us has been nightmarishly busy recently. I'm planning to do so soon though.

Oh dear.
“soon”.
31st April, maybe?

You may have been too busy for a long trawl through your budget together. But in the time that you posted your update you could have texted him “my ideas about saving aren’t working for both of us, so as soon as work settles down, we need to decide what to do together, in the mean time though it’s not fair that you have £230 a month more thank me, so you need to pay for half the food now”.

You’re putting this off - and honestly, if you can’t face up to talking about it, I think there’s no future for you in this relationship.

I'm glad my post was useful but afraid I agree with the above, you're putting your head in the sand at the moment but the resentment will build especially since we've pointed out what we have re his appalling sponging off you!

This is a bomb waiting to go off and it won't just destroy your bank balance it'll wreck your relationship too.

I’m not sure where the figures come from

£3.5 dept cleared at the end of last year, yet £7K savings already?

I think he needs a plan to clear the dept, and then a cash card.

He needs to swap his thinking ITS payday let’s spend and more towards - it’s nearly payday we have cash left let’s treat ourselves