...to not face my fears and ignore this?

[Malope]

Finally got DC in bed. Just sat down with a glass of wine. Spotted something long and brown on carpet from my vantage point. I don't dare look closer.

If I ignore it, will it go away?

Looks like one of those Soreen cake bars!

That looks like a soreen loaf bar 😂

Mini malt loaf? hopeful face

^^ great minds

That's a Soreen! Send it over here, I bloody love those things.

Cancel the cheque.

Deffo a mini malt loaf. I’ve just had one 😂

I think malt loaf too. It’s a bit angular for a shit.

Could it be a doglog?

First thought was a cake bar

That is not a poo... I’m 90% certain.

I say chocolate as well the colour is too brown for poo

...it's a fecking soreen bar.

Pass me the rest of the wine. I'm done for tonight.

Malt loaf snack. How your DCs missed that before bed I don't know! My 2 wolf them down

I also thought soreen.

Cancel the cheque

That’s neither shite nor snake.

We don't normally have them, in my defence. One up close is an unfamiliar sight, let alone lurking in the middle of the carpet.

Lucky escape, now you have wine and a snack!

Hahaha! Crisis averted.

That’s neither shite nor snake.

I'm going to use that next time DH is totally wrong about something!

What kind of turds does your DC have for that to be a contender

Stompythedinosaur

Woah, woah woah... I still haven't agreed to this business of Licking Things™ that MN testers subscribe to.

I knew I could spot a raisin in there. (That wouldn’t necessarily rule out the possibility of it being a turd though.)

LordVoldetort - I don't even know why it would be a contender. My DC are over 5. I think I'm just never surprised by anything any more.