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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get very annoyed by Santander Bank?

81 replies

NameChanger22 · 19/03/2019 19:00

I continue to get mail from Santander for my abusive ex-partner, even though he moved out 12 years ago and has been deceased for 2 years. He owed them money, he owed everyone money. I had no idea that he owed them money until he moved out 12 years ago, when I started getting all his post.

When he was still alive I kept telling Santander he didn't live at my address, but they told me he needed to contact them, which he probably never bothered to do, he told me he had, but probably lied to me about this.

I have never had a bank account or any association with Santander myself. I have told Santander repeatedly that my ex hasn't lived here for 12 years and he is dead. I contact them whenever I get mail from them, phone them and send most of the mail back, but they say they can't promise me they won't stop sending mail to my address. They basically said they don't believe he is dead so will keep sending me his post.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous way to run a business and to feel annoyed about this? What can I do to stop getting the post of a dead man sent to my address indefinitely? I have already lodged 2 complaints with them, which seems to have been a complete waste of time as nothing has been done.

OP posts:
Pinkyponkcustard · 20/03/2019 04:07

If you’ve formally complained before and stil keep getting the letters, write back to the bank and say you’re going to the Financial Ombudsman. It costs the bank about £500 each time a case gets referred to them so they seem to do better in these cases.

ny20005 · 20/03/2019 06:35

@Pinkyponkcustard

Absolutely no point in going to fos, they will also confirm the bank has done nothing wrong

@NameChanger22 of course I'm a troll when I don't agree with you 🙄

oorwullie1 · 20/03/2019 06:57

Santander staff member here.
We can't take someone's word on a death for all the reasons PP have given.
If you can't provide a death certificate, then we can't consider him as dead.
If you 'return to sender' any correspondence, a return mail block will be placed on the account which will prevent any future mail going out.

TooTightJeans · 20/03/2019 07:06

It’s his next of kin that needs to provide the death certificate though, not the op! And she has no contact details for them.

TattiePants · 20/03/2019 07:20

I wonder if you would have a complaint under GDPR as they are not protecting his personal information? You have repeatedly told them he is not at this address and have now told them he is deceased and they haven’t investigated this.

ny20005 · 20/03/2019 07:31

@TattiePants he has given the address as his. Unless death certificate is provided, the bank can't change this on someone else's say so

quietcontentment · 20/03/2019 07:43

Name Changer22 - Ny20005 does not sound like a troll at all, advice was very fair, your clearly annoyed at the situation but many pp are offering good advice on here and discouraging you from attending branch and being loud for good reason. Please listen its all good advice, they're not trolls just because you dont like what you read.

cookiemonster3 · 20/03/2019 07:48

It may not be Santander though.

My ex and I had our current account with them which was closed when we separated. 10 years later I still get "statements" from them saying I have a balance of £250. I kept sending them back till one day I got fed up and went into branch.

Turns out it's scammers and they are trying to get me to call up and give my details to transfer the £250 into so they can scam me. There is nothing they can do because no one had been able to track them down yet.

The letters look so realistic though and the numbers almost identical.

jeanniebrownhair · 20/03/2019 07:54

I had lots of issues with Santander trying to deal with my late mother's accounts. I will never, ever deal with them again. Their incompetence/dishonesty was astounding. www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46617577

I'd be collecting all the post they send you, sending it back in an unstamped envelope and a warning that you'll take them to the Ombudsman if they don't stop sending you unsolicited mail. That usually works.

Imoan123 · 20/03/2019 07:55

I'd write "return to sender, not known at this address" and then pop into post box. Also if he is an ex husband, divorced not just separated then I don't think you'll be liable for his debts.

Soph88 · 20/03/2019 08:42

Phone them and make a complaint. You should get a complaint acknowledgment letter and they should investigate. They will probably just send you a final resolution letter that fobs you off. At this point you have a right to go to FOS, the financial ombudsman, with your complaint. They may say the same as Santander, they may side with you it depends on the investigation but it cost Santander £500 every time someone goes to them with a complaint regardless of whether it is held up. Bit petty but at least you are costing them money.
Also don't send them the death cert that makes you a point of contact and they actually might pursue you more.

PettyContractor · 20/03/2019 09:08

I'd write "return to sender, not known at this address" and then pop into post box.

Would you do this several times a year for 20 years, in the hope they would eventually get the message? Because doing that is a lot more trouble than simply throwing the post away.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 20/03/2019 11:54

I'd be collecting all the post they send you, sending it back in an unstamped envelope and a warning that you'll take them to the Ombudsman if they don't stop sending you unsolicited mail. That usually works.

It's not unsolicited mail though. It's addressed to OP's ex, not OP. And he clearly requested statements and mail to be sent to that address.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 20/03/2019 12:08

", I would go to the local branch and ask in a VERY LOUD VOICE what I needed to do to get it through to them that this person had been dead for 2 years. Pick a time when they are quite busy."

🙄 Yeh OP just go into the branch and be a total arsehole to people who have nothing to do with this situation and are probably totally unaware of it. That'll learn 'em.

b0bb1n · 20/03/2019 13:15

As frustrating as it must be, I agree with the people saying to get his death certificate.

You keep saying it's their problem not yours to solve, but clearly it is your problem if they're sending you the mail. If you want the mail to stop, the onus is on you to provide the documentation they need to be able to confirm he'd dead and stop sending him mail. A bank can't just take someone's word that the person who owes them money is dead! They must hear that excuse all time.

I really think you're doing yourself an injustice by refusing to pay £15 for a death certificate, when in the long run you will be the one benefiting from it.

PassTheDutchie · 20/03/2019 13:25

Have you contacted the Financial Ombudsman? I also wonder if, as you've repeatedly told them he is a) not at your address and hasn't been for 12 years and b) deceased yet they are still harassing you, does that not break data protection laws?
I personally wouldn't go into the branch, I would want a paper trail so you can prove that you have made many attempts to inform them but they have ignored you. Or contact their CEO/tweet them and embarrass them there.

Ohgodtheresaspider · 20/03/2019 13:48

The financial ombudsman cannot just get Santander to stop sending the post. The op ex husband gave her address to Santander. Nobody can just walk into a bank and change somebody else’s address on their bank account due to data protection! I work in a bank & to change an address we need to identify the customer before they can do this. A paper trail makes no difference, the op needs to prove that her ex husband has passed away if she wants to stop getting the post. Or just keep sending back not known at this address. It really isn’t that hard to understand Hmm

Original poster
NameChanger22 · 20/03/2019 19:46

I went into my local branch today and spoke to someone who was more helpful than the people I'd spoken to previously on the phone. I took with me all my council tax bills for the last 6 years showing that I have the 25% single person discount, which proves I live alone. She photocopied them and said she was going to do what you could and ring me in the next few days. So, hopefully that has solved it. I figured I only needed to prove that he doesn't live at my address, not that he is dead.

Thanks for your help people.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChanger22 · 20/03/2019 19:47

He wasn't my husband, just a boyfriend. I've been single ever since.

OP posts:
GummyGoddess · 20/03/2019 19:58

How can you say they aren't doing anything wrong? If the company I work for sent personal information to someone else it's considered a DPA breach and has to be investigated.

I hope they sort it out this time for you OP.

Grace212 · 20/03/2019 20:16

YANBU at all

CountessVonBoobs · 20/03/2019 20:21

if, as you've repeatedly told them he is a) not at your address and hasn't been for 12 years and b) deceased yet they are still harassing you

Sending mail for a customer to the address the customer has given as his is not "harassing" someone the letters aren't even addressed to. OP is 100% free to just throw them away. Nor is it an offense to send post to an address the person doesn't live at, or nobody could send mail ever just in case the address was outdated. If anything the OP shouldn't be opening these letters.

OP can get the death certificate or just chuck them, it's up to her.

ny20005 · 20/03/2019 22:22

@GummyGoddess

They are sending information to their customer at the address he gave them.

They are not breaching dpa 🙄

GummyGoddess · 20/03/2019 22:44

@ny20005 If someone called us and said that the person did not live there we would cease sending letters. If we knowingly send information to an address that we have been told does not have the recipient there then that is a breach.

If the customer was alive and had just moved, and they came to us later and said why have we been sending personal info to an address we were told they didn't live at, we wouldn't have a leg to stand on. There is no excuse.

ny20005 · 20/03/2019 22:50

@GummyGoddess

So if some random person phoned you & said the address was not correct, you'd change it 🙄

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