Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation

I don't think that's rude so much as inaccurate.

Considering that the parents afternoon/evening he is referring to is in September and it is currently only March I think that is more than enough time for people to arrange to take time off work.

Only five days left in September on our holiday planner when I looked last week. Only three now, because I booked two of them .

She sounds like a sensible head teacher. Good for her.

Not rude just straight talking. Nothing wrong with limiting parents evening to 6 hours, if they have to expand it to allow for all working patterns they'd be still going at 10pm! I'm sure any parents who can't get time off/swap shifts would be able to have a chat via email or phone.

It doesn't take into account those who might be ill or caring for others

Yes it does. They can contact the head to discuss their exceptional circumstances.

Which schools are some of you at that you get 6 months notice?? We get a letter the week before with a choice of 4 time frames for you to choose your preference.

The problem comes when you have 30 kids & 25 parents want the 5pm-5:30pm slot

I don't think it is overly rude but agree the 'whatever job you have' is a bit OTT and ad PP's say those hours don't work for all

Not saying it is okay but does sound they are tired of requests for time change or out of hours and their working hours need respect too

Our school only gives us one or two weeks notice, making it harder for people to get leave / change shifts etc. I also think parents may think it's not worth all the hassle booking time off for a five or ten minute slot, especially if the feedback is not that good anyway.

I think the head is probably fed up of snowflake entitled judgey parents. There's a fair few on this thread!

Most schools have parents evening on a choice of two days don't they?
I don't think it's rude, I think parents can be extremely inconsiderate, and that head is probably fed up with it. Good for him.

Most schools have parents evening on a choice of two days don't they?

No, they don't.

What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance? Genuinely interested, I have never worked a role like that and neither has dp.

I was a nursery manager and Dh often worked away. The nursery I worked at closed at 6pm but most of the time to due parents being late I'd be lucky to be away for half six, missing the last direct bus at 6.15 meant three buses making a 20 minute bus ride home into over an hour. So while I finished at six and should be back home by seven it was often more like 9pm due to parents always being late. I've been lucky that usually I could get cover as parents evenings are usually given a few weeks in advance at least but one time I couldn't because it was my nursery's parent evening and Dh was working away. I couldn't attend any other evening because even though our own parents evening was three days from 12 until 9 there's always a significant amount of parents who expect me to get to work five am or to stay back until ten pm or even go into work in a Sunday morning for them.

Yes I understand both parents want to go together, I'd have loved to have gone with husband but it wasn't possible and he'd either have to go alone or I would and in some cases some soft patterns means some parents have to attend alone or have another family attend or arrange a phone call. I think most schools and education settings will accommodate both parents working shifts that mean they aren't free due to work but that would be a smallish number, in most scenarios one parent could get a break for a phone appointment if not a few hours off with six months notice.

I'd suggested a grandparent going in my place but her teacher said she'd speak to me on her lunch break but other than that one time one of us has been able to make it, just never together.

Not rude but unrealistic - even if people work 9-5/9-5.30/9-6 (which are fairly standard hours for millions of people) by the time you add on commuting, how many people can they actually see in an hour/hour and a half?

Wish this was my school! Sick of parents just not turning up (without reasonable advance notice) but full of complaints & want you at their beck & call. Had one parent phone constantly one day a few weeks ago to get an appointment (didn’t bother to arrange at actual parents night) was put out I wasn’t going to talk to her until after 3pm (because...I’m actually teaching....) then didn’t turn up to the new appointment they had a week to organise themselves for!

But if your work is that inflexible, surely you're not the ones grabbing the teachers before or after school as you are at work?

Pefectly reasonable. It is a lot of notice, so most parents should be able to make arrangements to suit. They clearly have a problem with parents wanting to suit themselves, not the school. Parents need to understand that teachers cant just hang around or drop their own lives to suit them.

I'm sure they are sympathetic to parents who really can't make the pre-arranged meeting. Just not to those who can't be bothered to plan ahead.

I couldn't necessarily book a day's leave six months in advance. I was turned down for a day's leave in November that I requested in January. I think the letter could have been worded better.

I would have made more about the notice being given and asked that if you know you cannot make the time, to let the school know by say the end of this term. The basic premise is fine I think. There are some people who seem to think the world will fit around them (and some companies) and/or treat others like servants.

But if your work is that inflexible, surely you're not the ones grabbing the teachers before or after school as you are at work?

Well exactly. As I've said this likely isnt about them as surely there have already been multiple parents evenings unless they just started and the teachers already have plans in place for those affected. Like emails or phone calls.

Either those acting surprised have kids starting in reception and hadn't thought about it yet. Or they are the chancers ego make the kids wait in line an extra ten minutes in the morning in the rain so they can ask the teacher how they did last term

The Head is giving six months notice of a very wide slot for parents evening. Shift, commute or whatever any one could book time off if it mattered to them.

I'm impressed parents night runs to 7pm.

Never been to one that goes on after 6.
Yes I work full time too. It's called getting organised and planning.

I don't think it's particularly rude just straightforward. The tiny minority of parents who cause the majority of these issues, are the ones who need explicit instructions.

I think the tone of the letter is patronising at best, I am lucky that my work are quite flexible for things like that which is actually bloody lucky with how DS school does it.

They do 2 days from 4 - 6.30. We know the dates in September. Then a month before they send out a form asking when you can attend. You fill in the form.

Then the day of the first parents evening your child gets a slip in their book bag with the time. And then they scratch their heads in bewilderment when you miss your 4.30 appointment on day one when your child’s in after school club until 5.45pm on that day every week 🙄

Also to the single parent above who said they wouldn’t book annual leave. Me neither! That’s half a day more holiday club to pay for at some point in the future.

I sat down with "sorry, DH can't make it so I'm going to scribble notes if that's OK". Every teacher said it was

I know all schools are different but surely there isn't an expectation that both parents attend? Why would you need to apologise and ask to write notes?

I've never been to a parents evening with my DCs dad and I've been to way too many, never once has any teacher commented on the fact I was alone.

I wouldn't be able to commit to a specifc time months in advance, nor would I book holiday for a parents evening, is that something epople do?

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something.

Not rude at all. Are you one of those parents who thinks a special arrangement should be made for just them?

He may be fed up of specific parents not making an effort. If you get notice in September. Most people can make arrangements for the following March. He has given 6 months notice.