Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

I understand the frustration behind this and never understand why parents wouldn’t want to see their child’s teacher, however, it is unreasonable to expect all parents to be able to attend at the given time slot. I am sometimes away with work overnight or attend late meetings which cannot be changed, therefore, I do make separate appointments to see my child’s teacher if this is the case. The school doesn’t seem to mind this and understands I cannot always fit in with the school. I think the letter is a bit strong. It has a lot of frustration behind it which I assume comes from being messed about by parents previously.

Ellapaella. Small anecdote: I had a child in my class some years ago with parents in the same careers as you and your DH(I've changed careers since - see above in my first msg)
As for Parents' evenings or any other function, if they made it -fine if not - no problem. I used to be available at short notice any time they needed. It was a village Primary School with lovely parents in and out a lot. You get to know very quickly which parents are being "different" (wink) and which are genuine regarding difficulties in evening appointments or anything else come to that!
The funny thing was, I was teaching their daughter and my husband, who was 14 years older than me, had taught the Husband in his 6th form yrs in another County! The lovely couple became friends and the Consultant-Dad arranged with a top Consultant in a London Hospital to operate on my thyroid cyst! I used to sing (still do a bit) and they wanted to make sure I still could!

It's just an anecdote! But if you are a decent and reasonable people then any school will meet you probably more than half way, especially when you are both involved your field of work. Thanks for reminding me of happy times!

I can understand where the head teacher is coming from, but I think it could have been better worded.
It reads to me as being very blunt, and I can see why people would see it as rude.

Maybe it has been written that way on purpose so only those, with a genuine reason will ask to rearrange. In reality they will be put off and the inconsiderate ones will carry on as thry were.
At least they have given you notice in advance. Lately, although we know the dates of parents evening a little in advance, we get told which of the days and the time about a week before.

I can plan an afternoon off to attend but they don’t always work out - unless I have gone out of the country which is only in holidays - and no I don’t get them all off - I only get five weeks leave a year - then my leave is not guaranteed. I run an adult special needs education centre and we have safeguarding issues regularly due to our vulnerable students - I am the designated safeguarding lead and if one of my students has just called to say he is sitting on his window sill with a noose around his neck having taken an overdose (which was a very recent example following a domestic issue) then I have to deal with it and cannot leave until I know they are safe. My child is my priority but as long as I know he is safe and I follow his education closely then saving a life would be definitely the right call. I did however manage to get to his last parents evening, albeit slightly late due to another event, (cows had escaped into our car Park from a nearby farm) which went very well! We never know what we are going to get in a day!

Sb74. Yes it does sound as if the Head is trying to get a message across, doesn't;t it? I've just said to Ellapaella, imh experience, it is easy to spot the genuine parents who have awkward hours and demanding jobs, and know they are not the "different" ones! The very fact that you say your child's school doesn't mind and understands shows that they know which group of parents you are in! If I were you, I wouldn't worry about the example of this letter. I think this school might be having a tough time with a few "different" parents. They do come and go!

Does come across a little rude but I can see HT point. Assuming the majority of parents are employed (not the case in the school I worked at) and people leave at 5 and only travel for 30 minutes. There are 18 time slots assuming no one runs over. As for the sociable hours and best paid holidays. Dream on. I quit because I couldn't sustain a family life and a teaching career due to working long hours and in the holidays.

youcantchoosethem. To be honest, for someone with a vital job like yours, way back when I was involved with planning these events in school, you would have been given a time to suite you and if you didn't make that we would have let you come in whenever you could! I think the Head of this school in the letter, has had a bad time with parents being unreasonable when they could have been more courteous, helpful, and respectful! Also people do have jobs that they can make arrangements to have time off, either holiday or different hours, for their child's schooling needs. I do remember it was the people who really couldn't be bothered who made up excuses, and the lovely parents with demanding jobs tried really hard to manage.

Anyway, imho your child's school should be understanding about the nature of your job and the hours you work! And your son must be very proud of you!

CoastalWave 😊🙂😄😇!

I can't believe the amount of people making excuses to not attend THEIR child's parents evening. Why have kids if you can't give them an hour for their education. With 6 months notice I imagine there are very few jobs that couldn't be worked around. I work full time and my husband works shifts and we have always managed it with a lot less notice.

Each year the parent teacher evening is on a day I do a long commute and long day in the office. Each year I take time off for this.

Don’t love taking precious AL but it’s important.

Never thought to make appointments at times I’m free as teachers do enough extra hours already (IMO).

Please can someone tell me if you get paid only a pro rata salary but spread out or if you salary is based on a 39 working year only, hence your true weekly wage is higher and then just spread evenly? I am so grateful for what teachers did for me and now for my children, they have the most important and one of the toughest jobs there is.

I think its fine, if the parent can't attend I'm sure a family member could help.

My ex husband used to work shifts 8-8, 9-9 and 10-10 so wouldn’t have been able to make any of those. Annual leave isn’t always possible. It’s been a bit rudely put. I’m a teacher and the earliest I can get to my child’s school is 5pm but with traffic and after school clubs and meetings it can be more like 6pm. If all the parents have the same issue the teacher is going to struggle to fit them into the evening a lot.

@differentcorner (and anyone else interested):

Teachers are paid for a set number of directed hours each academic year. It’s exactly 1265hours as set in their contract. These are hours that a teacher can be ‘directed’ to perform certain tasks and be in certain places. So lesson time accounts for most of that, but then there’ll also be training, meetings, parents evenings etc. If we take your example of £30k salary, that would be about £23 per hour. Not a bad hourly rate, but you’d have to have done a degree, post grad degree, NQT training and then had 5 successful performance reviews before you hit £30k as a teacher. In fact, the salary for a classroom teacher only goes up to £39k, which you could get after 10 successful years, plus having to proven how you regularly add to the development of the whole staff with your experience. I think many professional people, with post graduate level entry requirements, would expect a bit better than £23 ph.

Then there’s ‘undirected’ hours stipulated in the contract, which have no upper limit. This is the work that needs to be done to fulfill our duties. The head can’t direct us where to do these tasks, and include marking, planning, report writing, preparation. It would also include meetings/communication with parents outside of the calendared parents evenings. I’d estimate this would add about another 4 hours at least on my work day. That’s probably pretty conservative. I’d be in school an hour early to check emails and set up my room for the day. I’d stay after school for 2 hours planning for the next day. And I’d take reports or marking home to be done after my kids are in bed.

So now, taking my estimate of undirected hours into account, I’m at about £14ph. After years of training and 5 successful performance reviews. And teachers will regularly do other hours too - I’ve not included attending school trips, residential, school concerts, supervising detentions after school or during lunch, any time I’ve spoken to a child during my break/lunch, any time I’ve been called to stop a fight at lunch, any day I come in to provide breakfast revision sessions, or after school or even holiday revision sessions (would generally give up a few days at Easter and May half term), coming in for gcse and a level results day, coming in for the week before school starts to move/clean/prepare classroom and resources. If you did include all those hours, the hourly rate would be rubbish.

And teachers are not paid for school holidays.

@Differentcorner. Teachers are paid for 1265 hours per year which does equate to 39 weeks. The salary is pro data so we are paid equally each month. This also means that the 13 weeks ‘holidays’ are not paid. As law requires 5.5 weeks holiday per year pro rata then this is the amount of holiday included in the pay meaning 7.5 weeks of the year are unpaid. So salary is for 44.5 weeks. Majority of teachers do, however work much more than those hours for no additional pay.

Far too much parent bashing on this thread/ if a parent cannot make parents' evening, they cannot make parents' evening. The reasons behind this are irrelevant- as the school's client, it is then ip to the school to find alternative arrangements.

I accept that the home visits DH's schoo catties out will perhaps not be possible because of lack of co-operation from unions and a cultural stasis in some schools, there is absolutely no reason why schools cannot make greater use of technology to run flexible parent consultations. Except laziness and arrogance from headteachers and teachers.

Yellowfish- could you link to the school, please?

@YellowFish123
Link to the school please. We'll have a look at the Year 11 results and see if they're worth bragging about. Somehow I doubt it, seeing as your husband / the headmaster is not even a qualified teacher.

@YellowFish123

What the fuck are you on about?

While I’ve got the calculator out, the ‘teachers’ at yellows imaginary school would be on less than £8 an hour. That doesn’t include the unpaid overtime in their ‘contract’ to perform admin and the month they’re on call for no pay.

The original letter is not rude. It serves a purpose. If they’re giving 6 months heads up and offering to make alternative arrangements for parents who are unable to make the allotted slot, there’s really no reason for any parent/guardian to miss. Not making the effort to let the school know you won’t be there, not being there to match the effort the teacher is putting into your kid..... that’s rude!

Except laziness and arrogance from headteachers and teachers.

That's rich, coming from someone whose husband only rolls into school part of the week and isn't on the premises at all during the month of evenings he requires his staff to be available for any parent who might decide they want a consultation.

And for the last time: parents are NOT schools' fucking clients.

I’d be quite happy to FaceTime parents (not from my own phone though!) if we had the tech for it, a parent consultation could be done this way. But that wouldn’t get round the time issues, just the location.
They could also walk round their home to show me wee Johnny doing his homework, that would be good.

Not rude - a 5.5hr parents eve is more than long enough. Some parents do not give teachers enough credit for the amount of extra hours they do - assuming that teachers do not have lives/homes outside the classroom!

I've always prioritised parents evening as my children's future was one of the most important things in my life, though in employment I always worked for companies that prioritised employees (the ones that didn't I left, sharpish, life is too short to be messed about).

As a boss then I happily let my staff juggle hours to fit in with parental responsibilities.

And the head hasn't said no, but just go through him. That's what good managers do, protect, support and develop their staff.

Top marks to him.