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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Relative almost proud to "have to" claim benefits

138 replies

tellmeimbeingunreasonable · 10/07/2007 13:42

Ok, so please tell me i am being unreasonable if i am!
I have 6 children, relative has less.
I work part-time, dh 50hrs plus a week
She doesnt work through choice - her exh gives her money as and when she asks
I have one child who is disabled
She has 2 children who work full-time (others still at school)

Went to a party other day and I heard her saying without any apparent "I cant get a job as i would lose my benefits and be worse off".
This makes me so . I thought benefits were for those who cant work, not for those who wont work.
I heard a while ago that the government were going to bring in something that stops able to work parents of over 10 year olds from claiming benefits, but cant find any info about it now.
Has really made me annoyed this!
So AIBU?

OP posts:
SueBaroo · 10/07/2007 13:45

No, you're not unreasonable, but why on earth would she work if she would worse off?

SueBaroo · 10/07/2007 13:45

would be, that is..

WaynettaSlob · 10/07/2007 13:47

It would wind me up as well, if that's any consolation.....

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 13:47

No I am totally in agreement with you. There is a big difference being unable to work and won't work. It really annoys me. That is partly the trouble with this country, it is too easy to get benefits. I have never claimed benefits only Child Allowance, never been unemployed and never been made redundant. When there was a possibility of being made redundant, I went and got another job - at one stage I had four part time jobs, that was the only way I could help pay the bills and fit it in with my husbands shift work.

LittleBoot · 10/07/2007 13:48

Are you annoyed with her because she's on benefits, or because she's not embarrassed about being on benefits?

She's probably wrong about not being better off working nowadays. People slag off the tax credit system, but from a lone parent's POV, it nearly always means you are better off working. Tell her to look for a job, see one she likes and then look on the site entitledto.com, which will give her a calculation of how much money she would earn, plus childcare costs plus working tax credit and child tax credit. She may be surprised.

If she irritates you by saying she wouldn't be better off, just calmly tell her about entitledto. It will shut her up.

SweetyDarling · 10/07/2007 13:49

In Aus, once you've been on benefits for a while you get given a job by the government - sweeping streets or similar, or have to do re-training for a new career. Seems sensible I think?

harleyd · 10/07/2007 13:49

that would piss me off too!

LittleBoot · 10/07/2007 13:49

Oh and agree with SueBaroo, why would she work if she were worse off? What benefit would it be?

The government had enough intelligence to recognise that this is a perfectly reasonable position, which is why they introduced the "Make Work Pay" agenda. It isn't perfect, it doesn't always work, but it nearly always ensures that it is financially better to work than not.

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 13:53

I agree with SweetyDarling. Brilliant idea. I have just been to the Middle East and if anyone goes there and is found to be pregnant without husband/partner, they are deported immediately. Why should the country pay for their stupidity!!

LazyLine · 10/07/2007 13:55

Maybe she means that she wouldn't be able to afford to live as she would be bringing in less when working?

LittleBoot · 10/07/2007 13:56

Oh FFS.

It doesn't take long for a thread like this to descend into a stupid rant against pregnant foreigners, does it?

I'm orf.

persephonesnape · 10/07/2007 13:59

soa pregnant woman who has been abandonned by her partner/husband is 'stupid'?

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:00

Actually if you are referring to my post, they are from all walks of life - if you can't afford to keep children yourself, why should the country (me and my taxes) pay for them??????

harleyd · 10/07/2007 14:01

never mind pregnant foreigners. why should people get away with sitting on their feckin lazy arses and claiming benefits when they are perfectly capable of working.

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:02

Too right - it isn't just pregnant women. There are so many claiming benefits and they are quite capable or working - just lazy b*tards

meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 14:03

You do know that some single parents work and don't claim benefits, don't you?

kslatts · 10/07/2007 14:04

It annoys me that someone I know who is on benefits has more disposable income than dh and I even though we both work full-time, and the fact that because ahe is on benefits she gets lots of things free which we have to pay for.

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:05

Yes I do and I don't have a problem with that at all - in fact I take my hat off to them and in fact my son's girlfriend is one of them and she is a nurse doing shift work. She is a wonderful mother and works very hard and I don't have a problem with that at all. It is the ones to get pregnant to scrounge

Original poster
tellmeimbeingunreasonable · 10/07/2007 14:06

harleyd - that's it exactly. Just because someone is entitled to it does that mean they should have it if there is an alternative?
Am sure with my situation we are entitled to a lot if we didnt work, but like most people we want to for lots of reasons.Fulfillment, example to dc, paying off debts etc

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 14:06

Sorry. It's just that this comment: "if anyone goes there and is found to be pregnant without husband/partner, they are deported immediately. Why should the country pay for their stupidity!! " rather made it sound as though you didn't...

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:07

I mostly think yanbu but inevitably, working involves having to arrange wraparound care for before and/or after school unless you are very lucky with your job. Not every parent of school age children wants them to be latch key kids.

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:09

That's fine meandmyflyingmachine, I know a few one parent families. I know how difficult it can be.

Original poster
tellmeimbeingunreasonable · 10/07/2007 14:15

She has between 9 am and 230 pm to work. Her kids wouldnt be latchkey kids and she doesnt have any pre schoolers. One of her dc said to her recently about her getting a job and she went mad at them ...maybe a guilty conscience was behind that Im not sure.

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 14:27

There aren't that many jobs with those hours though, are there?

I think it seems simple and easy, unless you are the one having to find the job...

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:29

Well, yes, who knows re. her individual circumstances, but I did make the point that one is very fortunate to find a job that fits in with school hours. Of course they exist but not in great abundance.

I'm looking for work to support me re-start my own business after my relationship fell apart. I have 3 children, one at nursery til lunch and the other two at school until 3.10, and will really struggle to justify the forking out for childcare and the 'making life harder than it needs to be' for myself, but I'm a perfectionist, workaholic mad thing.

I'm not banking on a 9.45 til 2.45 post coming up and I won't be applying for the school midday supervisor post that is available. Make of that what you will.

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