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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Relative almost proud to "have to" claim benefits

138 replies

tellmeimbeingunreasonable · 10/07/2007 13:42

Ok, so please tell me i am being unreasonable if i am!
I have 6 children, relative has less.
I work part-time, dh 50hrs plus a week
She doesnt work through choice - her exh gives her money as and when she asks
I have one child who is disabled
She has 2 children who work full-time (others still at school)

Went to a party other day and I heard her saying without any apparent "I cant get a job as i would lose my benefits and be worse off".
This makes me so . I thought benefits were for those who cant work, not for those who wont work.
I heard a while ago that the government were going to bring in something that stops able to work parents of over 10 year olds from claiming benefits, but cant find any info about it now.
Has really made me annoyed this!
So AIBU?

OP posts:
MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:38

Well I think the jobs are there is you look hard enough. OK it is hard if you are on your own but lunchtime supervisor at a school is a good start. I know that Boots used to employ term-time only staff also at one stage. Saturday work also is sometimes available. I also did a 'job share', I looked after my friends children when she worked and she looked after mine when I worked. It was very hard but we managed and had a laugh (and cried) together when we could.

meandmyflyingmachine · 10/07/2007 14:42

Term time only perhaps. Middle of the day only more tricky I should think.

And I suspect you would still have to claim quite a lot in the wayof benefits if you were a lunchtime supervisor.

I'm not saying people should stay on benefits rather than work. Not at all. But to suggest that all they have to do is get off their backside is a massive oversimplification IMO.

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:48

It isn't as simple as some of you think. My reasons for not doing the midday supervisor post, for example, are that I need to be here in order to remain organised - I achieve a lot before the older dc arrive home and if I did the dinner lady job for peanuts I'd have, um, penauts and a laundry pile that takes over the house as well as dinner out of a tin for the children instead of home cooked food, and so on.

Also, while I accept that if you are poor you have to take whatever is on offer - I am educated to degree level and as such am working on building my business back up while networking and applying for jobs in my field. It doesn't make sense for me to go and run round the playground for a couple of hours when my time can be better spent on other things that will hopefull lead to a benefits free, and stress free future for us all. None of this applies perhaps to the person the OP is talking about but it maybe offers soem insight to just how complex one's reasons may be for not working.

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:50

The 'if you look ahrd enough' migth earn you a smack in the gob from some people. Me, actually if you'd said that the other night at around 3am when I was completed my 4th of 4 job applications with between 2 and 4 pages of info on 'me' related to job spec.

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:51

agh! 4th of 6 and ignore all other typos in that last post!

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:53

Perhaps that is why you aren't getting a job!!

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:53

only joking - don't shoot me yet

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:54

Know it is probably my propensity to tell people to Fuck off when they are being twattish.

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:55

arse fecks, No NO no not know hesus christo

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 14:58

you could be right actually...

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 14:59

Oh I do love a good conversation with someone who has got a bit of bite about them. I like it. Good luck with the job search - I am sure you will find something very soon.

MadMumsy · 10/07/2007 15:00

Might be but if you show the same determination in your job interview, you won't be unemployed long, I am sure.

bozzaNatasha · 10/07/2007 15:09

newlifenewname while I understand respect your argument about building your business up, networking in your own field etc I think the bit about the laundry pile is a bit lame. I manage to keep my laundry pile at bay and feed the children home made food (OK, frozen and reheated) whilst working 3 full days a week with a 6yo and 3yo and there are many more like me. A lunchtime supervisor is not there for the whole of the school day.

expatinscotland · 10/07/2007 15:19

and i'm sure there are all these lunchtime supervisor jobs available just now.

and all these other jobs for single parents with young children.

and they're so high paying, when you lose your housing and council tax benefit you'll have plenty left to pay the rent, transport costs for work, uniforms, etc.

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 15:33

Note BIG difference in having 3 children not 2 bozza. 2 at school rather than pre school too which adds a whole dimension. Plus I am newly single. I only just cope to be honest. If I get the good job I'm after (interview this week) I will pay for help.

bozzaNatasha · 10/07/2007 15:48

Well I do have one at school and one at day nursery which I find complicates things. Sorry I hadn't registered the single bit. I do also take expat's point re not everyone can be a teaching assistant or dinner lady.

Original poster
tellmeimbeingunreasonable · 10/07/2007 16:05

I think its the attitude that hacks me off. It's never " oh the local paper never has any jobs" or "no response from my application form", she just never even looks at getting a job. Never, so she wouldnt know if they are out there or not. Just the old chestnut "i'll lose my benefits" excuse. I'm not misses wonderful but i manage to find work that fits my family with very little child care needed, good old grandma sometimes, but thats all. The jobs are there if you can put up with what you do. I dont particularly want to wipe peoples privates for a job (in a old people's home - not a perverted way!!!!), but if it makes ends meets while LO at home then i will, and do

OP posts:
BarbieLovesKen · 10/07/2007 16:49

nope, dont think you are being unreasonable at all.

This really annoys me - I know a young, healthy couple with one little boy - neither of them work (well he does the odd few hours)- completely lazy individuals - she claims lone parents allowance (when, in fact she obviously is'nt!), he claims the dole and works the odd day (when his father gives him work), dont have a car (drive the parents second one - not insured for this either), dont have a house (live in the parents second house, rent free I might add, while the parents work to pay the mortgage) and are now waiting to be handed "their" council house. hmm... shame, it gives a bad name to the genuine cases who really need the help.

They are a disgrace to themselves and to their child - great example to set.

To add salt to the wound - they go out most weekends, enjoy foreign holidays, new clothes, huge, extravagant presents to eachother.

OH and I both work full time and as you all know its hard work to run a house, raise children and work full time - its our fcking money paying these aseholes to sit around, smoke, and scratch their arse's all day... aaaaarrrrrrghhh!!!

speedymama · 10/07/2007 16:55

My cousin has 3 cleaning jobs and some months brings home nearly £1000 after tax. You can fit a job like that around school hours and work at weekends if relatives are available to babysit. If there is a will, there is a way.

speedymama · 10/07/2007 16:55

YANBU btw

Shoshable · 10/07/2007 17:03

i was a single parent in the 80's, I child minded in the day, worked in a pub, three nights a week and as a chambermaid at weekends, yes I had help from parents and grandparents (grandad lived with me so he babysat at night), I never received any benefits or maintenance.

Glad to say that DS, now 28 has the same work ethic and has never claimed anything in his life.

SueBaroo · 10/07/2007 17:12

I don't disagree that it's irksome, but it isn't surprising in the least.

nutcracker · 10/07/2007 17:21

If she takes on a job that is less than 16 hours then yes she could be worse off.

I have just applied for a job that will make me worse off, but I am so desperate to get into work that this is the only way.

Aimsmum · 10/07/2007 17:55

Message withdrawn

newlifenewname · 10/07/2007 17:58

Oh purlease - it is waaay too easy to congratulate oneself on a fantastic work ethic, as if you are one of the few that has a good one, when you have help. Will you still be patting yourself on the back when you don't have free childcare and so reluctantly make the choice not to work because it costs more emotionally and financially to have the kids looked after so you can go and earn minimum wage cleaning rooms and serving food?

People who have claimed benefits can have a good work ethic too. Unemployed people can have a fantastic work ethic. Stop holding this idea up that if you work your arse off and barely have time to parent your own children it's a really good thing. Similarly, sitting on one's fat arse and doing nothing in the way of work and making like you have no choice is equally short sighted but job does not equal 'good person'.

No job does not equal lazy twunter. Some people here just don't think outside the box.

Thought you workers would like that phrase - make you feel at home.

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