Should people in public facing roles be sensitive?

[FedUpParent]

Title’s vague sorry I didn’t know how to word it.

Basically I’m an autistic adult with other mental health problems, today I was trying to travel alone on a train and missed my connection. I was very upset as my ticket had a specific time on it and said it couldn’t be used for another train (to buy another one would be £30-40).

A staff member approached me in the station as I was crying and abruptly asked what the matter was. I tried to explain that the train drove off as I was at the doors of it and I didn’t have another ticket and I was scared.

He said “well for gods sake you can use that one” I mentioned the exact time on the ticket, he says “it doesn’t matter that it’s for a different train just use it”. He didn’t say it in like a jokey tone but quite snappy (and loud) it appeared like he thought I was wasting his time. I made sure to thank him anyway and he stormed off without a word.

I’m quite self aware (when I calm down) and understand it probably did look ridiculous that I was crying. And maybe if he knew I was autistic he’d have been more understanding. I know some people haven’t got the patience for when someone seems overdramatic but I’ve now been hiding in a toilet for almost an hour wishing I’d never tried to do this

Do you think someone who’s job is to interact with such a wide variety of people should be a bit more sensitive or AIBU coz obviously everyone has the right to get annoyed sometimes?

surely the whole point of being professional is not to bring the personal into work.

FunkyKingston Nobody expects him to be a counsellor, but something along the lines of "It's okay, you can still catch a different train with that ticket, no need to worry" and a pleasant smile isn't difficult, is it? As PP said, if the man himself is autistic then obviously that would be different as he would possibly have difficulty reading social cues but for an NT person it's not difficult to be nice for a minute instead of snapping at them.

He may well be one of life’s smart arses and behaves like that to everyone. It’s wrong and he should be better trained on how to deal with customers. And if that doesn’t improve him he should be told to look for another job.

I hope you’re feeling better. He won’t be dwelling on what happened - people like that don’t. In this case wish for karma to bite him on the arse.

He did help - OP got her answer. He wasn't rude, he didn't insult her, he was just concise and then went about his business. Perhaps he's not NT, perhaps he's not actually employed to help customers and just bumped into OP on his way to something important - at least he helped and answered the question. At least he tried.

He was rude - snapping is rude, especially when explaining a train ticket, which are often incomprehensible.

Just because an autistic person’s reaction to a stressful event might be different to most people’s, that doesn’t make it an “unreasonable” reaction. HTH, PPs

Ideally yes, everyone in a public role should be compassionate even if it’s faked.

However, they are still human and can have a bad day like everyone else

This. Ideally, people in public facing roles should be polite and helpful at all times, irrespective of what may be going on in their own lives and/or any conditions they themselves may have.

Not always realistic.

@sonlypuppyfat

"But he did help. Perhaps he's autistic and that's his manner"

You just gave 13 posters a nose bleed.

I wonder how many funeral directors get away with 'having a bad day' and letting their professional facade slip.

We can all have bad days, but at work we have to get on with it, especially if your job is forward-facing.

Sorry you missed your connection and became upset OP.

Working in public facing roles can be stressful. He could have handled the situation differently: think many of us will have had many interpersonal situations at work we could have handled differently.

Some people in public-facing roles, for whatever reasons, can’t or won’t manage the “emotional labour” of seeming kind/ approachable etc.

then they should be transferred to a backroom role.

Autism and MH problems aside, what you describe is to my mind, a mix of good and poor customer service. He approached OP to offer assistance - he could have ignored her completely, but then it goes downhill.
I wonder if his manner could actually be down to relief. Hear me out.
I used to work in a train station and the amount of attempted and sadly successful, suicides is a lot higher than many people think. It shocked me. They don't publisise it, quite often it's just a 'delay' unless it's very public. We didn't work for the railway, but part of our training was to report someone to a member of station staff who appeared upset - like the OP. The station staff then had to deal with that. I'm wondering if he approached OP thinking of what he may have to deal with until police/ambulance arrived, and on finding out what was actually happening, relief that it was 'just' what it was made him intolerant. Still not acceptable in a customer facing role, to be snappy to anyone though, distressed, autistic or not, but definitely possible.
People in customer facing roles are slowly starting to get more training to know how to help people who aren't NT effectively, but it's a long battle. I've worked in a customer facing role for years - just had my first session, delivered by a charity, on being dementia friendly. It's just not on management radar most of the time, they don't deal with the situations.

@WeepingWillowWeepingWino

"I wonder how many funeral directors get away with 'having a bad day' and letting their professional facade slip."

72.4

Funeral directors are businesses where high interpersonal skills are part of the (often expensive) “package” sold. Not the same at all as the public sector.

Whatever is going on in someone's personal life when you work with the public you put on a smile and politely help them - there is NO excuse!!

And I think he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself!!

he stormed off without a word

Really? He stormed off? Or just walked away having answered your question. I suspect the latter.

@FiveLittlePigs You're entitled to suspect the latter if that's what you wish but I believe the OP!

Anyone in customer service knows that it is how you are perceived not what you intended.

Then staff in customer service roles should think about how their behaviour can be perceived!

@rosinavera

That's nigh on impossible though. People perceive things totally differently because they are different. There's a certain standard of politeness and customer service that's required in that type of job (which I don't think he met btw) however you can't possibly anticipate how every single person you deal with on any given day is going to perceive you. An example is the threads that pop up on here regularly about shop assistants and those who greet/keep asking if you need help etc. Some people like it and think if they're not approached it's poor customer service. Some people hate it and think it's rude.
Working in customer service you accept that sometimes through no fault of your own, you don't meet someone's expectations. You do need to be mindful of how you may be perceived, however it's impossible to cater to everyone - you don't know them.

I worked in customer service for years. You can't go wrong if you're polite and helpful.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

I used to work in a university. Quite a few students would be visibly upset on a regular basis. Exam stress, friendships, money worries etc.

It wasn’t my job to help them. But I provided a cup of tea and a listening ear and I could signpost them to further help.

Stations can be stressful, bewildering places.
I've been lost, late and had one too many and my requests for directions/help have had mixed but generally favourable responses.
I believe your account and this person should have been kinder, although they did half a customer facing job by getting you on the next train.
Hope your feeling better now.

@rosinavera

My job is not to comfort people! My job is to perform a role and I must scrutinise and make judgement calls.

Seeing an adult cry for what seems like a trivial reason I would be snappy as well because in my job I must exercise caution!

Never said I wouldn't be helpful... but I'd certainly find it a ridiculous thing to cry over!
Without knowing anything about this individual and to be fair some people are drama llamas even adults.