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Original poster

To be worried for my daughter- re boobs!

78 replies

Silverschool321 · 18/03/2019 14:15

My dd is 12 and is very tall and naturally slim. She has a great figure and is lovely. However she is getting upset as she says she is the only girl in her class without boobs. She goes to a mixed school and some of the bastard boys have teased her about it. She started her periods last month but still only has very slight breast buds that she's had for over a year. Does anyone think she will develop now her periods have started? Did anyone else develop late even though they'd started periods? Worried for her she has such a beautiful little figure but all she cares about is fitting in Sad

OP posts:
SMurphy91 · 18/03/2019 16:30

I started my periods at 14 and was almost completely flat chested until 19. Now I'm a 32DD. I remember getting the same comments at school and being told I was "too skinny". You really can't win in high school unfortunately Hmm

sue51 · 18/03/2019 16:32

I would report the bullying. Boys making comments about girl's bodies should not be tolerated.

GraceMarks · 18/03/2019 16:35

Women who are tall and slim but also have big boobs are relatively unusual, so I wouldn't go promising her that they'll grow eventually - they might not. But honestly, I've had small ones all my life and it's more of a blessing than a curse. I don't tend to get men talking to my chest instead of to my face, I don't need to wear a bra if I fancy having a day off from it occasionally, I don't get backache from the weight of big boobs, and there's less to go saggy as I get older... I appreciate that a 12-year-old can't be expected to appreciate all that just now, but it's worth pointing out some of the advantages of being flat-chested in case she does stay that way.

anniehm · 18/03/2019 16:35

Growth can kick in at various points, my dd went from an aa to a d in under 2 years, growth didn't start until around a year after periods started.

kshaw · 18/03/2019 16:38

I was just like your daughter. I didnt start my periods until I was 17 and had nothing. By the end of university I was a 34E. And after having a baby I now wish I was back in that position!!

ScarletBitch · 18/03/2019 16:38

She is only 12 and has a lot of growing to do. I would speak to her about how she will develop over the years, but for now she needs to be able to deal with the idiots in her class without getting upset. Poor girl, promote positive body image and to be happy as she is in her own skin, and not to conform to society's standards.

AnnieOH1 · 18/03/2019 16:43

Another one, I started my periods in junior school but remained a B cup till I was about 21 when they sprang up to an F in a few weeks. They've settled on an H now. I spent most of my youth with wonder bras, chicken fillets etc wishing for bigger but believe me I hate them now.

I certainly learned from it, I even bonded with a girl who was in a J cup at 14 because we were equally ripped to pieces by school boys. It mattered hugely at the time but it was like most things in life and just a learning curve. [Flowers]

ScafellPoke · 18/03/2019 16:43

I’m 35 and still have aa boobs! Even had 2 pregancies and bf both for 3yrs each! So atleast they’re functional 😂

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 18/03/2019 16:44

I would try and boost her confidence as much as possible.I was a small A cup from early puberty into adulthood and felt shit about myself so I had a boob job at 28 to a D cup.Extreme measure? Yes but it was the right thing for me.My mum and me didn't really talk about body image back then but maybe if I had a better self esteem I wouldn't have opted for surgery.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 18/03/2019 16:44

I was tall and slim also

UpsyDaaaisy · 18/03/2019 16:51

I used to be really self conscious of having no boobs when I was in secondary school, I hit puberty around 16 and they seemed to just appear our of nowhere and quite big, I hate them now and wish I could have a reduction Sad

Itstimeslikethese · 18/03/2019 17:01

Your DD is still so young , just tell her to think of all the lovely skimpy tops she can wear , which you can't with big boobs , I've been anything from a B , C , D , DD .. & my size I preferred the most was a C cup so it's not about how big they are.. Could you show your Daughter this thread would that help her feel better X

ClashCityRocker · 18/03/2019 17:04

It's also worth noting that those who develop breasts earlier won't necessarily end up with large bosoms.

I was dead excited at the start of secondary with my B cup. Fast forward twenty years, I am still a B cup.

It's sad it is even an issue and I don't really know what to suggest. Gosh I'm glad I'm not a teenager again.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 18/03/2019 17:08

I remember being laughed at when I was 13 and had my first bra. I was in 2nd form (year 8) and the year 9s laughed and said I didn't need a bra.
I still remember how sad I felt - and I didn't even want bigger boobs really, it was just the hurt at being laughed at.

It is very unlikely that she will not develop further.

I still have very small breasts and they haven't held me back in my personal or professional (!) life. I am a keen sportswoman so am glad I don't have the problems I see other women go through.

Mari50 · 18/03/2019 17:21

i have small boobs. Thankfully I also have a bit of a big nose so no one ever teased me for having a flat chest. At school if it’s not one thing they’ll find another. Thankfully I also have a lot of confidence and don’t really give a shit what other people think. My breasts didn’t change until I had my dd, I was briefly a b cup which I hated because they bounced about so much. Inner confidence is the key and the sad post by another poster about her confidence being crushed just because of her bra size is exactly why this needs to be addressed.

Smotheroffive · 18/03/2019 17:22

Most of the girls I knew sweated through hot summer months in sweaters to worried/self-conscious to take their sweaters off (in girls schools)!!! It's a horribly self-conscious time for most who's body doesn't change so dramatically again apart from pregnancy. It's such a shame, as its so obvious to the outside world, noone can see what's going on for boys it s all hidden,but for girls its so overt and judged.

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 18/03/2019 17:23

She's only 12Sad show her pictures of famous models? (Not Kardashian/Jenner style) more along the lines of fashion models. Very slim, hardly have boobs yet are seen as beauty icons. If you speak to the school then you could potentially lose DDs trust in the future just be cautious of red flags, if she uses social media then monitor it more as bullying is usually more prominent on the internet. I wouldn't go down the route of "they'll grow eventually" as that reinforces the idea she needs big boobs to be beautiful and if they don't grow much then it could lead to more insecurities in the future. Poor thing, boys are horrible and 12 is a difficult age. Good luck OPFlowers

LuvSmallDogs · 18/03/2019 17:23

In a strange reversal of fate, I got picked on for being the only girl in Y7 with big boobs that needed a proper bra.

Just tell your DD that bullies will look for anything unusual to pick on, there’s nothing wrong with her and go to the school about it. God, kids can be nasty, eh?

FlowersCake for your dd and WineGin for you.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 18/03/2019 17:27

I'm 34 and breastfeeding and only just a b cup, I was an a before. But it means I don't have to wear bras can wear backless tops and dresses easily, never have to worry about underwires digging in, back ache, falling out of a bikini. There are a lot of plus points

shirleyschmidt · 18/03/2019 17:30

I'm sure she's not done yet, mine were still an A cup at age 14 and I was willing them to grow. I remember my best friend was a B and being SO jealous.
I was an F by the age of 18 and they've always seemed to be bigger than most people's. All my adult life I've wished they were smaller! The age it started was irrelevant 🤷‍♀️ Either way she sounds like she has a fab figure

BlackPrism · 18/03/2019 17:37

Shell love it when she's older as it makes clothes hang really nicely and shops cater more for her shape. Alternatively I didn't get past an Aa until I was 13

BertieDrapper · 18/03/2019 17:42

I didn't get passed AA till I was about 20!

And I was bullied horribly for having no boobs! Didn't help that my best friend developed at a young age!

She may grow, she may not. The only thing you can do is reassure her that either way she is fine as she is...

I was determined to get a boob job as soon as I turned 18, thankfully I found other things to spend money on! And once I left school it was never an issue anyway..... except for the odd arsehole comment every now and then.

Thank god for padded bras!

slashlover · 18/03/2019 18:00

I used to get teased in 1st year (so age 12-13) because I was wearing a 32D at that point, and they kept growing. It's one of those things where people want what they don't have, I'd love to be smaller (currently 34K).

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 18/03/2019 18:00

Periods started at 13, boobs appeared at 14, by 16 was a DD, by 18 was an E, by university I was a GG. She has lots of growing left to do.

ScafellPoke · 18/03/2019 19:19

Yes! ziggy It’s great not having to wear a bra!