Is this ok for a birthday or cheap?

[OverwhelmedParty]

My DD is turning 4 at beginning of July.

I am separated from her dad and her actual birthday falls on his weekend. He won’t let me see her on her actual birthday despite me asking (we’re not on good terms, he blames me for the split and I can’t trust him due to controlling and violent behaviour contact is court ordered so can’t easily be changed).

I can’t really do a party – she’s in a class of 40 at Nursery and due to the way the days fall she would want to invite them all (they have 31 in per day but only 5 full time so they have more children than actual spaces IYSWIM), plus with similar aged friends children I’d need to find somewhere that caters for 50-60 children and the thought of a party that big terrifies me.

So I was planning on asking my friends to meet me with their children at a local “big” park during the week a few days before her actual birthday. It has lots of swings, big slide, lots of climbing frames, and all sorts of other play equipment across 2 playgrounds, there’s also a sand pit. There’s also a field with goal posts for football. I was going to do a picnic for each child and adult and provide cake. And if it’s open buy everyone (adults too) an Ice Cream from the shop.

I’ve worked out even with food and icecreams I can do the whole thing for less than £50, possibly even less. Of course I wouldn’t expect presents at all due to it not being a proper party. It is my DDs favourite park though so I know she’d love showing her friends the different equipment.

But I’m worried it sounds too cheap. Of course it might rain and then we’d have to change plans. The park advertises itself as good for picnics and I’d check with the grounds keeper but can’t see it being a problem (it’s hard to describe how big the actual park is but even if each of my friends bought all of their children we’d still only take up a small area).

AIBU? Or do I just need to suck up paying for 60 children to attend a party? (Trust me when I say most of her Nursery friends would come, another mum had a full class party for their child last weekend and out of 40 38 including the birthday child attended).

It sounds really lovely OP. I’ve been to a few parties exactly the same over the years and it made a nice change to being cooped in soft play hell.

Go for it!

It sounds lovely to me. My 4 year olds would have loved that idea. I did a big party with the whole class for reception year but have kept it small and simple ever since then. It's nice to keep it personal.

Sounds perfect!

Sounds like you've got it sussed. Sounds great and my DC would have loved it.

I did a number of birthdays like that.. Small village with a park so just made it known we'd be there after school with cake and squash. It was fine. Very low stress and lots of people brought packed teas for their kids.

Sounds good to me! I wouldn’t even mind bringing my own drinks and sandwiches and have you provide crisps, cake and treat type stuff iyswim. Probably less waste and easier to distribute food that way.

My friend's little boy had a birthday party like that, it was great. My kids both loved it and had a great time.

Sounds fab!!

Sounds perfect and the parents will appreciate the energy getting burned off in the fresh air. Go for it! Have a great day when it comes.

Park parties are the best

Parents will stay.
Can come and go as they please.
The will eat whenever.
No need to entertain the kids, point them to the slides or chuck a ball at them.

You get to have a sit down and a chat

It sounds absolutely fine. BUT why not just invite a few little friends to your house? Would you really have to invite the whole class? I know it's the done thing at primary school these days, but not at pre-school in my experience.

It sounds great.

Sounds good to me, i was planning on doing similar.

THis sounds like a lovely party - my daughter would absolutely love it.

Take loads of photos!!!

I don't have the space to have anyone home, tiny 2 bed flat so it needs to be out of the house.

We’ve been to a few parties like this. They were lovely. But I wouldn’t think someone was “cheap” unless maybe I was asked to pay for my kid’s entrance somewhere for someone else’s party. That’s cheap.

That sounds lovely and it is a proper party.
No way would I invite 60 kids even if I could easily afford it. It would be hectic and far too much for your dd and the other children.

You don't HAVE to invite everyone, ever. We only ever asked 10 max. (Due to cost).

It sounds lovely.
Stop worrying about it sounding cheap, anyone who sneers at people who cant afford to do much isn't worth your headspace. Your worth is nothing to do with whats in your wallet.

Sounds good to me...and i would of course still bring a present. Whats the weather going to be like in your area?

Nursery rules for invites are all of one gender, the entire class or none and I don't know the parents enough to invite just a couple, hence why I'm sticking to friends children.

As long as the kids are also ones that your daughter would want at her party, sounds great.

Full class party?-never happend in my kid's day.

Hopefully I wouldn't have got sucked into it if it had!

In my day it was a party tea at home with party games.

No one ever complained it was cheap!

Of course it's not 'cheap'! No cheaper than having a party in your home, but for 40 kids you'd need a mansion! If you need to keep the cost down and can't afford to rent a room somewhere, then this sounds like a perfect plan to me!

Surprised more people don't do it tbh 🤔

I’ve been to several parties like that. I consider that a proper birthday party.

It sounds wonderful...absolutely perfect for her age. What will you do if it's awful weather though? - is there a hut where you can at least all picnic? Maybe take a few blankets for people to sit on. I would also bring a gift!
You might also have a few games up your sleeve in case of general chaos.