Is this ok for a birthday or cheap?

[OverwhelmedParty]

My DD is turning 4 at beginning of July.

I am separated from her dad and her actual birthday falls on his weekend. He won’t let me see her on her actual birthday despite me asking (we’re not on good terms, he blames me for the split and I can’t trust him due to controlling and violent behaviour contact is court ordered so can’t easily be changed).

I can’t really do a party – she’s in a class of 40 at Nursery and due to the way the days fall she would want to invite them all (they have 31 in per day but only 5 full time so they have more children than actual spaces IYSWIM), plus with similar aged friends children I’d need to find somewhere that caters for 50-60 children and the thought of a party that big terrifies me.

So I was planning on asking my friends to meet me with their children at a local “big” park during the week a few days before her actual birthday. It has lots of swings, big slide, lots of climbing frames, and all sorts of other play equipment across 2 playgrounds, there’s also a sand pit. There’s also a field with goal posts for football. I was going to do a picnic for each child and adult and provide cake. And if it’s open buy everyone (adults too) an Ice Cream from the shop.

I’ve worked out even with food and icecreams I can do the whole thing for less than £50, possibly even less. Of course I wouldn’t expect presents at all due to it not being a proper party. It is my DDs favourite park though so I know she’d love showing her friends the different equipment.

But I’m worried it sounds too cheap. Of course it might rain and then we’d have to change plans. The park advertises itself as good for picnics and I’d check with the grounds keeper but can’t see it being a problem (it’s hard to describe how big the actual park is but even if each of my friends bought all of their children we’d still only take up a small area).

AIBU? Or do I just need to suck up paying for 60 children to attend a party? (Trust me when I say most of her Nursery friends would come, another mum had a full class party for their child last weekend and out of 40 38 including the birthday child attended).

Sounds lovely

overwhelmed

Sorry, I misunderstood. If it's just your friends and their children it sounds much more manageable! Hopefully we'll get weather similar to last summer!

I'd love that and so would both of my DC. Only issue is weather of course but you can check a few days before.

We have been to a few of these and my DCs absolutely love them!

"Nursery rules for invites are all of one gender, the entire class or none and I don't know the parents enough to invite just a couple, hence why I'm sticking to friends children.

how can they POSSIBLY enforce that rule??

Sounds excellent. I have a summer birthday & always had park based parties in primary school when it was expected that the whole class would be invited. They were always a hit, you can add in a few cheap games like pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel etc to make it feel more partyish.

Have fun OP!

I think you are being optimistic if you believe you can provide 10 children and 10/11 adults with:

1. A picnic
2. Cake
3. A bought ice-cream.

Ice creams are pretty expensive and you need to buy 20 or 21.

The whole set up sounds really lovely though but I just think it may cost more than you are planning.

" they don't want the invitations handed out on the premises and the children seeing who's got one and who hasn't"

Yes, that makes sense.

I've always thought that that was an odd thing to do, although appreciate that for some it might be the only chance to hand actual invitations out.

I think it sounds lovely. I actually wouldn't bother with the ice cream. If you really want ice cream then buy some multipacks and a really good cool bag, but I think cake and squash are more than enough

I think it sounds grand for that age of child. They really don't need whole class parties, huge expenditure etc etc, just cake and fun is enough!

Fantastic idea. I'd bring ice creams in a cool box. Cornettos from Iceland.

It sounds lovely, stop worrying, kids really don't care where they are as long as they are together

Sounds good to me.
If you want to include nursery friends, my kids nurseries have been happy for parents to hand in a cake for them to do Happy Birthday and all the kids to get a wee bit

This was actually one of my ideas for my own DS’s 5th this summer - grew up outside of the Uk where bbq/picnic parties at the park were standard. My son would love to attend a relaxed event like that, I think if you’re sure of the weather
(Or have a good backup location in case of rain) the children will have a brilliant day!

P.S. a good ‘birthday cake’ for the park is a tower of assorted sprinkle donuts

@op. I hope the weather is good! You will do well to provide a big party with ice-creams as well for only £50

That sounds like the BEST party and your dd and the other kids will love it

Fingers crossed for good weather!