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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have just been charged by the police and not know what to do next

366 replies

Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 13:01

This morning I was at netball club with my young daughter when 2 police officers turned up and asked to speak to me. I was panic stricken as I thought something had happened to my husband and son.

They took me a short distance away from everyone and read me my rights. I think I went into shock at the point and have difficulty recalling what was said next.

I all revolves around an incident 2 weeks ago at the same club. The carpark is always busy as a netball and football club is on at the same time. I had trouble getting into a space and tried to edge in really slowly. I was literally going so slowly the speed wasn’t even registering. I was struggling to get in and a space opened up right behind me so I parked there instead. A man then walked up to my window and said ‘you just hit that car’. I replied that I don’t think I hit anything, I didn’t feel anything and was watching very carefully. I also have back sensors which did not go off at all. The man then got aggressive and kept stating that I hit another car. My 6 year old daughter was with me and was getting upset. I said ok I will leave a note.

I then found the only scrappy bit of paper in the car that I could and wrote my mobile on it. I waited until the man walked away as I felt unsafe then went over to the car which I presumed was the one he meant. I could see no damage and there was no damage to my car. Nevertheless I put my phone number under the wiper. I didn’t write on it ‘I got your car’ or anything as I honestly don’t believe I did.

Fast forward 2 weeks and the police turn up. They gave me a list of offences - I think there were 3 and I think one was failing to stop and failing to report an accident. They said Aggressive man told the owner of the car that I had just left a blank piece of paper on the car but that he had my details. I explained what had actually happened I think but, to be honest, I was so stressed I imagine it was pretty jumbled. I’m just in disbelief. Why on earth would anyone leave a blank piece of paper when you go there every week, someone has taken a picture of your car etc.

I even showed them texts I sent to my husband 10 minutes later about what had happened and how I had left my details. I said in the text, I don’t think I hit them but they’ll probably try to claim for everything now so that will be our insurance going up.

The police read the texts, made a note of everything I had said and said they would investigate more. Have I been charged? Do I need a solicitor? What should I do next? My anxiety is through the roof after reading those charges can mean 6 months in prison. Haven’t stopped crying all day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 16:05

I’m still at a loss what aggressive man would have to gain from all this...and I’m still sure I didn’t hit anything but I think I’ll just have to take this one and pay for the damage. It’s much better than what could have been.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 16:11

Thank you to all those who have been so kind. I know I seem pathetic but I’m still recovering from a recent (one of many) miscarriage as well as having the worry of my daughter’s operation hanging over me and various serious family illness. Trust me, I wouldn’t have believed I would have become this person from where I was in my 20s but then life happens and changes you sadly. Just got to carry on.

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 17/03/2019 16:13

Glad it's all sorted OP. I've been in exactly this position once upon a time. I was a young 18 Yr old when someone claimed I hit their car and drove off.

I was taken to the station and interviewed by a police officer who did his best to try and scare me.

In the end, there was no evidence, and the car I'd been in at the time was a hire vehicle and gone back to the company weeks before.

Stressful wasn't the word. Why on earth people get so worked up over a car I'll never understand!

Pinkkahori · 17/03/2019 16:13

Don't agree to anything if you haven't done any damage. Why would you do that?
When i was a new driver a person reported me to the police because someone damaged their car in a carpark. They had looked around and seen damage on my car and decided I was the culprit.
I was emphatic on the phone to the policeman that contacted me that I definitely was not responsible. He came and looked at my car and agreed that the damage was old like I said and i heard no more about it.
Why would you pay just because someone says you did something, if you know you didn't.

EvaHarknessRose · 17/03/2019 16:14

It just made his day to have an opportunity to have a go at a woman I expect, even better, a woman driver, and to feel like the upholder of justice.

Treacletoots · 17/03/2019 16:15

Oh yes. Meant to say do not pay for the damage!! They have no proof whatsoever you did it and like you said, you had parking sensors. There's no way you wouldn't have stopped if they beeped.

DointItForTheKids · 17/03/2019 16:22

I would, in this case, not be accepting my liability and offering to pay anything. Also I'd want pictures of the damage and a map showing where he was parked in relation to your car.

Is there CCTV in that car park OP??

There's nothing to say it's not a scam. Don't be too quick to cough up money.

ivykaty44 · 17/03/2019 16:22

I didn’t think police came out for damage to vehicle, and certainly has been the case when on two occasions people have crashed into me. so why would the police come out two weeks later for damage to vehicle that can’t be seen with the naked eye?

Passmethecrisps · 17/03/2019 16:24

Sometimes people are just very weird OP. They get weird axes to grind.

I bumped a car a couple of years ago. I was reversing and got it at a weird angle. A car moved in front of me which startled me and I bumped the car next to me.

I decided just to abandon the space and move to an easier one before coming back to the bumped car. One woman took it upon herself to stand and yell at me across the car park. Then she, her husband and her children sat in their car crying with laughter while I struggled to find a pen and paper all with my 4 year old’s swimming stuff and 40 weeks pregnant. It was a bloody horrible situation and I don’t understand why she was so horrible about it.

I took pictures, left my details and asked for a tannoy announcement for the driver. We sorted it very amicably thankfully.

I find it strange how much of a berating you are getting on here. It sounds like a very unpleasant situation which has been blown up out of all proportion

Passmethecrisps · 17/03/2019 16:27

I cross posted with your most recent post.

I agree with others saying not to be too quick to pay up. You have no damage to your car and no evidence of damage to theirs. Certainly not that you caused any of it. I would be asked about CCTV evidence before paying anything.

In my bump, I was also crawling along but very clearly felt a bump. I think you would know

EC22 · 17/03/2019 16:28

My FIL had this almost exact thing happen in a supermarket car park, there was no damage so he didn’t leave details. Police came to his door he ended up with a 6 month suspended sentence. Whole thing was ridiculous.

Mamaryllis · 17/03/2019 16:34

Why would you pay for damage you haven’t caused?
Years ago my kid threw open the car door in a car park and hit the car parked alongside. I yelled at him and checked but didn’t see any damage to the other car. Went and did my grocery shopping. Came out to find a note with contact details and a quote for repairs to the door of their brand new car that they had collected the day before, and the claim they were inside the car (they knew my son’s name - quite believable as I was yelling it at him to be more careful). They claimed it was dented and paint missing and they were going to have to replace the entire door panel. I called them and left a message stating that I had checked and found no damage (hence not leaving my details) but would be happy to come to an agreement and pay the repair shop directly in the event that I had missed the damage. Asked for photos of the damage and the official quote from the repair shop.
Didn’t hear another thing.

Cocolepew · 17/03/2019 16:35

Christ on a bike some fucking nasty posts on here Hmm
Glad its getting sorted op.

ittakes2 · 17/03/2019 16:37

This sounds all a bit strange if I am honest. I once had a white van hit me in London and I took his number plate. The police contacted him and he denied it - the police said there was nothing they could do. If they have your number plate... I am surprised they did not just send you a letter or something. To show up at a netball match...never heard of it. I hope you are OK. Honestly, this seems big now but in the near future it will be ancient history and it won't affect your life in a big way.

ss2011 · 17/03/2019 16:44

Hi OP. So sorry you have been through this. I know you don’t want to lose your no claims bonus but if you think the owners of the car are going up try and scam you if you sort it privately then I would recommend you do just say you want it to be dealt with by the insurance company. Your insurance company will play hard ball....I can assure you....they will want to inspect the car and won’t pay a penny if they don’t think there is any damage or proof. You need to weigh it up against losing your no claims but this might save you loads of stress......

youarenotkiddingme · 17/03/2019 16:53

Jeeeez there's some nasty people around.

I'd have been anxious too - and I'm generally known for being faaaarrrrrr to laid back!

Aggressive man accusing me of doing something I didn't think I had done. Dealing with it how I thought was correct.
Then getting confronted oh publicly by 2 officers and knowing that I could t prove my version of events - because I did t at the time think to take evidence such as photos.

People have often said I'm too trusting as I'm too honest - but that that will one day be my downfall.

Dongdingdong · 17/03/2019 17:12

There are some really nasty people on this thread. I always feel sorry for those types though as they clearly have very empty existences.

Glad you got it sorted OP Flowers

TheDarkPassenger · 17/03/2019 17:19

I’d have been beside myself too op and I work for the police!
I got pulled over once (ages ago now) and discovered I had no insurance, I had panic attacks for months and for so long I’d have panic attacks at the sight of police. I can’t explain it either! I’ve never ever been like this.

It will go down though, like I say I work with police officers all day everyday now and I’m fine :)

howrudeforme · 17/03/2019 17:30

Op the aggressive man could be the owner of the car, trying to pull a fast one on you?

QuirkyQuark · 17/03/2019 17:34

I'd have been a hysterical wreck if I were the Op, I had a police officer at my door recently and although it was a very innocent fact gathering conversation, I was shaking.

Op it might be an idea to get a dash cam, we've bought one, it was about £30 but hopefully it will give us peace of mind. And our parking sensors could wake the dead they're that shrieky the closer you get to an object.

I'm guessing angry man was the one that actually hit the other car but saw you and decided it'd be better if you coughed up for the repairs.

notacooldad · 17/03/2019 17:37

Aggressive man, a shunt in a car park that didn't happen, with invisible damage = insurance scam to me
OP probably lives in my town or similar!! This is very common!😥

cheeseypizza · 17/03/2019 17:39

Out of interest @Worriedmummy2 what kind of car? Maybe their jealous. I have asked this previously.

ifeellikeanidiot · 17/03/2019 17:51

Scam is possible. More likely is that aggressive man is friends with the police officers. Someone asked what would be get out of it... heightened sense of his own importance? The high of feeling right and angry. If he's been associated with the club for a while, maybe he's got his own crazed narrative about women and his perception of their parking skills.

I would have been really flustered in your position op. I don't know much about police procedures, but my instinct would be to keep chasing it up through 111. Case number, all details, that kind of info. Don't be fobbed off.

I'd be keen to know how much of this is standard police procedure. It's seems very off.

bodiddly · 17/03/2019 17:51

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Sunnyjac · 17/03/2019 17:56

Never accept a caution, it’s a criminal conviction that will give you a record. Demand your say in court (for something like this they would probably drop anything they were trying to pursue as it’s too much hassle)

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