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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have just been charged by the police and not know what to do next

366 replies

Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 13:01

This morning I was at netball club with my young daughter when 2 police officers turned up and asked to speak to me. I was panic stricken as I thought something had happened to my husband and son.

They took me a short distance away from everyone and read me my rights. I think I went into shock at the point and have difficulty recalling what was said next.

I all revolves around an incident 2 weeks ago at the same club. The carpark is always busy as a netball and football club is on at the same time. I had trouble getting into a space and tried to edge in really slowly. I was literally going so slowly the speed wasn’t even registering. I was struggling to get in and a space opened up right behind me so I parked there instead. A man then walked up to my window and said ‘you just hit that car’. I replied that I don’t think I hit anything, I didn’t feel anything and was watching very carefully. I also have back sensors which did not go off at all. The man then got aggressive and kept stating that I hit another car. My 6 year old daughter was with me and was getting upset. I said ok I will leave a note.

I then found the only scrappy bit of paper in the car that I could and wrote my mobile on it. I waited until the man walked away as I felt unsafe then went over to the car which I presumed was the one he meant. I could see no damage and there was no damage to my car. Nevertheless I put my phone number under the wiper. I didn’t write on it ‘I got your car’ or anything as I honestly don’t believe I did.

Fast forward 2 weeks and the police turn up. They gave me a list of offences - I think there were 3 and I think one was failing to stop and failing to report an accident. They said Aggressive man told the owner of the car that I had just left a blank piece of paper on the car but that he had my details. I explained what had actually happened I think but, to be honest, I was so stressed I imagine it was pretty jumbled. I’m just in disbelief. Why on earth would anyone leave a blank piece of paper when you go there every week, someone has taken a picture of your car etc.

I even showed them texts I sent to my husband 10 minutes later about what had happened and how I had left my details. I said in the text, I don’t think I hit them but they’ll probably try to claim for everything now so that will be our insurance going up.

The police read the texts, made a note of everything I had said and said they would investigate more. Have I been charged? Do I need a solicitor? What should I do next? My anxiety is through the roof after reading those charges can mean 6 months in prison. Haven’t stopped crying all day.

OP posts:
Henrysmycat · 18/03/2019 18:50

I was nearly a victim of similar con with policemen.
Insurance did everything. They were taking the piss. I have no idea what happened to them but my insurance care up winners.
Don’t waste money you don’t have, call your insurance.

DointItForTheKids · 18/03/2019 18:51

It will be a lot less stressful and less expensive to go thru your insurance OP. What could happen if you 'just pay up' is not only will you be hugely out of pocket but it could drag on a lot lot longer with him adding 'this new issue' and 'that new issue' - as soon as you agree to go down his chosen route, you're showing that (as far as he's concerned) you're a 'soft touch' and he'll be tempted to milk it, for his own ends, to the max. You're more protected if you go down the insurance route and you do need to report it to your insurers but report what ACTUALLY happened, as MissMud advises. It will still cost you less than losing our NCB.

Karwomannghia · 18/03/2019 18:52

Listen to the police officers and insurance people. Honestly someone tried to claim all Sorts from a knocked wing mirror (my mum). The insurers are very very thorough they don’t put up with bull shit, they interviewed her, they check medical records, inspect the cars etc etc. You don’t have to do anything except answer questions asked by a nice insurance person.

redexpat · 18/03/2019 18:57

Hope youre feeling better now. Its easy to go in a blind panic when faced by an aggressive man and then 2 police officers. Dont let them rattle you Flowers

pink412 · 18/03/2019 19:01

We had something every similar. The person we touch very lightly got a quote of £300/£500 off a friend who ran a garage (within 2 hours of the “crash”). We where going to do it private but when they thenprice we said let’s put it through the insurance they never claimed or took it any farther once we gave them our insurance details.

Seems they where trying it on I would definitely pass to insurance company they will demand a real quote.

pink412 · 18/03/2019 19:03

The friend was a friend of the person we touched not our friend

BlueCornishPixie · 18/03/2019 19:29

I don't understand why you won't go through insurance?

Is there any damage to your car? Because if you didn't think you hit them and there's no damage to your car I really doubt you hit them.

I once hit a car in a car park, literally going about one mile an hour, it was more of a gentle roll but I felt it. No damage to either car, not even a scratch. Left my details anyway but never heard anything. I really doubt you could hit the car enough to scratch it and not notice!

You won't have to pay solicitors fees and your not going to lose your license ffs! If you didn't hit them you didn't hit them! Unless you suspect you actually did?

BlueCornishPixie · 18/03/2019 19:30

I really think just paying over emails admits liability and makes you open to further problems. Like if he then comes back and says there's interior damage. It's so so dodgy. Don't do it.

NicoAndTheNiners · 18/03/2019 19:44

How did the policeman car owner have your email address? Had you agreed for it to be given to him? Because if not that's a massive fuck up of GDPR rules and they're in the shit.

NicoAndTheNiners · 18/03/2019 19:45

Has he sent you photos of the damage yet?

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 19:47

I'm 100% with the posters saying to put this one through insurance.

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 19:55

He has sent me a tiny photo of a scratch. Can barely see the colour of the car and no idea which side it’s on or if it’s front or back

OP posts:
reallybadidea · 18/03/2019 19:59

Conveniently below or equal to the usual insurance excess

You don't pay an excess for third party claims. Also check how much of your no claims bonus you would lose - it won't necessarily be all of it. They often just knock off a couple of years. I really wouldn't be surprised if this all just goes away if you refer them to your insurance company.

NicoAndTheNiners · 18/03/2019 20:05

Go through insurance. Tell your insurance company you dispute everything.

Ask to speak to an inspector at the police station and say you wish to make a formal complaint about the conduct of at least 3 officers, possibly 4.

N0rdicStar · 18/03/2019 20:05

The time they wasted on this could have been better spent elsewhere. My car got broken into last week, it was reported and absolutely zilch was followed up there. Just had an email saying they wouldn’t be following it up and a letter in the post re victim support. Shame I don’t work in the police.HmmOutrageous.

GirlcalledJack · 18/03/2019 20:07

If you won’t go through the fighting it route then please at least let your insurance deal with it.

Quite honestly as soon as you tell them you are getting your insurance company involved (and maybe tell them you are also getting separate legal advice) I bet it all just disappears and you won’t hear from them again!

ScarletBitch · 18/03/2019 20:09

You let your insurance sort it, I doubt the Police will even take this any further.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 20:15

It was never a police matter! They are intimidating a witness. FFS. This is not a matter police deal with. especially since you did no damage in the first place
This is cunts.

minesasaugagesupper · 18/03/2019 20:16

OP - contact your car insurance provider. Give them all the details and leave it with them. DO NOTHING ELSE AT THE MOMENT.

If something smells fishy it probably is. Just tell the person you emailed that your insurance company is now dealing with everything and leave it there.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 20:17

And if you don't know what police can be like, thank God you've never had to deal with them!

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 18/03/2019 20:20

Sorry this has happened to you OP, very upsetting.

If you don't want to go through insurance tell the scam artist to give you the name of the garage where he is getting it repaired and you will pay them direct. Don't offer to hand over money.

I had a horrible experience with the police but was in the grips of a bad depression and didn't have the energy to do battle and just wanted it gone. On this occasion though you don't want to fight it doing this one thing, stating you will pay the garage, may just trip the dodgy arsehole up Flowers

MissMudskipper · 18/03/2019 20:53

From an insurance point of view police dont normally get involved as it's a civil matter not criminal. They are intimidating you. I cant stress enough that you should go to your insurance company and let them deal with it.

JockTamsonsBairns · 18/03/2019 21:15

Completely agree with Daubergine. So much corruption in the Police Force, they are a law unto themselves, and accountable to no-one.

hastingsmua1 · 18/03/2019 21:22

Please say that you have a dash cam or that you took photographs of both cars at the time????

AnneElliott · 18/03/2019 21:30

And op I would also contact the police officer you spoke to, and tell him that you want to make a complaint about aggressive man.

They must have his details, so complain about his abusive and threatening behaviour as that's a section 5 public order offence. If he's a cop or a friend of the cop they will be desperate to drop this as quickly as anything.