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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have just been charged by the police and not know what to do next

366 replies

Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 13:01

This morning I was at netball club with my young daughter when 2 police officers turned up and asked to speak to me. I was panic stricken as I thought something had happened to my husband and son.

They took me a short distance away from everyone and read me my rights. I think I went into shock at the point and have difficulty recalling what was said next.

I all revolves around an incident 2 weeks ago at the same club. The carpark is always busy as a netball and football club is on at the same time. I had trouble getting into a space and tried to edge in really slowly. I was literally going so slowly the speed wasn’t even registering. I was struggling to get in and a space opened up right behind me so I parked there instead. A man then walked up to my window and said ‘you just hit that car’. I replied that I don’t think I hit anything, I didn’t feel anything and was watching very carefully. I also have back sensors which did not go off at all. The man then got aggressive and kept stating that I hit another car. My 6 year old daughter was with me and was getting upset. I said ok I will leave a note.

I then found the only scrappy bit of paper in the car that I could and wrote my mobile on it. I waited until the man walked away as I felt unsafe then went over to the car which I presumed was the one he meant. I could see no damage and there was no damage to my car. Nevertheless I put my phone number under the wiper. I didn’t write on it ‘I got your car’ or anything as I honestly don’t believe I did.

Fast forward 2 weeks and the police turn up. They gave me a list of offences - I think there were 3 and I think one was failing to stop and failing to report an accident. They said Aggressive man told the owner of the car that I had just left a blank piece of paper on the car but that he had my details. I explained what had actually happened I think but, to be honest, I was so stressed I imagine it was pretty jumbled. I’m just in disbelief. Why on earth would anyone leave a blank piece of paper when you go there every week, someone has taken a picture of your car etc.

I even showed them texts I sent to my husband 10 minutes later about what had happened and how I had left my details. I said in the text, I don’t think I hit them but they’ll probably try to claim for everything now so that will be our insurance going up.

The police read the texts, made a note of everything I had said and said they would investigate more. Have I been charged? Do I need a solicitor? What should I do next? My anxiety is through the roof after reading those charges can mean 6 months in prison. Haven’t stopped crying all day.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 17/03/2019 14:26

Bloody hell report my posts 🙄

pinkgloves · 17/03/2019 14:27

Why don't Mumsnet ban people that repeatedly troll hunt? It's bloody irritating.

Summergarden · 17/03/2019 14:28

Agree Tilikum, some really nasty comments on this thread that aren’t at all in the spirit of MN.

I think a lot of women would find it a stressful and upsetting experience, even if they knew or believed they hadn’t done anything wrong. For some reason I’ve always been petrified of the police accusing me of any wrongdoing. I’ve even had dreams about it, even though it’s never happened and hopefully won’t.

Eliza9917 · 17/03/2019 14:30

Did you take pictures, at the time, of your car and the one you supposedly hit?

LuluBellaBlue · 17/03/2019 14:30

Please ignore any of the nasty messages on here. It sounds a really confusing and traumatic event. Please remember the police are just doing their job and investigating a version on events they have been told. They absolutely will have to listen to your side of the story and should be giving you full details of exactly what you’ve been accused of doing (not just the failure to report but the what was it that was done!) and should show you evidence of this ‘thing’ you are meant to of done.
Just remember you’ve done nothing wrong and have been unfortunate enough to come under strange mans wrath.
I tend to think in these situations ‘At least I’m not him!!’

VladmirsPoutine · 17/03/2019 14:30

Do you drive a large car??

I don't know why I have just laughed hysterically at this comment @cheeseypizza

AnyFarrahFowler · 17/03/2019 14:31

This is bizarre. Sounds like a scam to me.

When a car reversed into me and drove off, I took photos and contacted the police (actually went into the police station) - they could not have cared less and they did absolutely nothing.
So turning up as they did with you today seems so strange.

pinkgloves · 17/03/2019 14:32

The police pulled me over for not having insurance once (I did, I'd just got new insurance and it wasn't logged in the system properly but flagged up from my number plate) and I was a wreck. I knew I'd done nothing wrong but that didn't stop me shaking and spluttering.

And if someone does suffer with anxiety it's even worse that you'd be so snarky about what should or shouldn't make someone upset.

cheeseypizza · 17/03/2019 14:32

@VladmirsPoutine 😂😂😂I had phrased it what kind of car do you drive and op didn't answer! She said she's a nervous driver just trying to ascertain if the car is maybe too big for her. I don't know why but now I'm 😂

yourestandingonmyneck · 17/03/2019 14:34

There was about an hour between the original post and the OP saying she had then called 101.....not sure why somebody is claiming this is false because she had called them "2 minutes later" Hmm

Don't stress OP; it does sound a bit over the top and I can see why it would be intimidating and stressful, but I can't see it going any further. Bumps sometimes happen in car parks, it's just how it is.....you're not going to jail x

Daubergine · 17/03/2019 14:38

I doubt this will even lead to charges.

MeAgainAgain · 17/03/2019 14:39

Agree about unpleasant posts on here.

Does sound stressful and upsetting.

The police saying loads of officers have been involved is bizarre - aggressive man must have been ringing them up every 30 secs to see what's happening and got them running around / or be connected.

pinkgloves · 17/03/2019 14:43

Some of you are coming across as spiteful little bullies.

cheeseypizza · 17/03/2019 14:45

No one is bullying

FlopsyMopsyRabbit · 17/03/2019 14:47

Ignore the pathetic people OP.

I hope you're okay. Don't stress, nothing will happen and hopefully the officer rings you really soon

Drogosnextwife · 17/03/2019 14:51

OP if you hit a car you would know you had hit a car, especially if there was enough damage for the police to get involved. There is no point saying "I honestly don't think I did", you either know you did or you know you didnt.

DarlingNikita · 17/03/2019 14:52

cheesey, you yourself have posted 'I don't understand why you are getting so worked up about it' with a sneery face; and 'You are either completely naive or lack common sense.'

Others have posted 'What the fuck are you doing op. Just calm down. Jesus.' and 'You need to get more savvy… calm the fuck down.'

Amongst other things.

Nasty bullies, the lot of you.

harrietpn · 17/03/2019 14:54

OP, I would panic too. I also wonder if it is some kind of insurance scam. At a busy carpark and Mother and Child is more of a seemingly 'easy' target rather than someone like a black cab driver. I would have done the same thing, I'll be really careful in documenting evidence in the future...

JuniperGinYay · 17/03/2019 14:58

Wow, a while ago I was getting my daughter out my parked car when another car served and hit my car on the other side. They scratched, knocked the wing mirror off and I bumped my head. They also paused and put two fingers up to my angry gestures.

I gave an incident report, full details and witness details.

The police didn’t even acknowledge the form they gave me to fill in, when I tried to chase it they didn’t even make a record

MissLadyM · 17/03/2019 14:58

You should have taken photos of the non damage

VladmirsPoutine · 17/03/2019 15:05

@cheeseypizza Grin Grin Perhaps it should be you who goes to jail! Every time I refresh the thread and read it I just break down in hysterics.

adaline · 17/03/2019 15:08

What I don't understand is you not knowing whether you hit a car or not. I mean, surely you know whether you hit something?

I've bumped my car parking twice (both very minor) - both times in a tight car park and I bumped the wall both times. I wasn't going any faster than a couple of miles an hour and I very definitely felt it! I don't think there's any way you can hit anything in a car and not realise you've done it.

I also can't imagine a situation where the police come out for such a minor offence!

Grace212 · 17/03/2019 15:09

OP I feel for you

I can't understand why some posters are being so nasty

is there CCTV in that car park?

MissWimpyDimple · 17/03/2019 15:11

If the car park was private land you have nothing to answer to.

I once reversed into a car in a private car park and left a note. Then rang the police to report it. They said I was being very nice to leave my details as there was no legal need to on private land 🤷🏻‍♀️

Albamahanna · 17/03/2019 15:17

There is some horrible troll hunting posters on this thread. I've never understood why so many Mumsnet users get kicks from being rude and intimidating.

OP I would be just as panicked as you. Surely you would know if you hit the other car though? Even if it was a tiny bump you would feel it. You probably wont help things by saying you don't know if you hit the car or not. If you didn't feel a bump you won't have hit anything, I think you should be clear about that. It sounds like this could be a scam. I hope you get some answers soon

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