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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have just been charged by the police and not know what to do next

366 replies

Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 13:01

This morning I was at netball club with my young daughter when 2 police officers turned up and asked to speak to me. I was panic stricken as I thought something had happened to my husband and son.

They took me a short distance away from everyone and read me my rights. I think I went into shock at the point and have difficulty recalling what was said next.

I all revolves around an incident 2 weeks ago at the same club. The carpark is always busy as a netball and football club is on at the same time. I had trouble getting into a space and tried to edge in really slowly. I was literally going so slowly the speed wasn’t even registering. I was struggling to get in and a space opened up right behind me so I parked there instead. A man then walked up to my window and said ‘you just hit that car’. I replied that I don’t think I hit anything, I didn’t feel anything and was watching very carefully. I also have back sensors which did not go off at all. The man then got aggressive and kept stating that I hit another car. My 6 year old daughter was with me and was getting upset. I said ok I will leave a note.

I then found the only scrappy bit of paper in the car that I could and wrote my mobile on it. I waited until the man walked away as I felt unsafe then went over to the car which I presumed was the one he meant. I could see no damage and there was no damage to my car. Nevertheless I put my phone number under the wiper. I didn’t write on it ‘I got your car’ or anything as I honestly don’t believe I did.

Fast forward 2 weeks and the police turn up. They gave me a list of offences - I think there were 3 and I think one was failing to stop and failing to report an accident. They said Aggressive man told the owner of the car that I had just left a blank piece of paper on the car but that he had my details. I explained what had actually happened I think but, to be honest, I was so stressed I imagine it was pretty jumbled. I’m just in disbelief. Why on earth would anyone leave a blank piece of paper when you go there every week, someone has taken a picture of your car etc.

I even showed them texts I sent to my husband 10 minutes later about what had happened and how I had left my details. I said in the text, I don’t think I hit them but they’ll probably try to claim for everything now so that will be our insurance going up.

The police read the texts, made a note of everything I had said and said they would investigate more. Have I been charged? Do I need a solicitor? What should I do next? My anxiety is through the roof after reading those charges can mean 6 months in prison. Haven’t stopped crying all day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:17

To be honest I’m too scared now to cause a fuss although I do feel that I have been done like a kipper. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if aggressive man wasn’t a policeman as well. I’m pretty sure he was the one who removed my note or something, probably so they could threaten me with all sorts of charges and then they could be ‘oh so nice’ and offer me a way out by paying for the ‘damage’ out of my own pocket. I very much doubt this will go on car repairs as there was nothing there!

Really ticked off but not a lot I can do

OP posts:
cloudymelonade · 18/03/2019 14:20

Probably not a helpful comment but I feel like you shouldn't be allowed to take out car insurance without a conversation with your insurer first on what to do if an incident occurs.

I'm really sorry this has affected you so much OP but you took absolutely no steps to stand up for or protect yourself here. You're not going to go to prison for a shunt that was so minor it may not have even happened so just breathe and wait and see what happens. I doubt the police will get involved further and it'll be left for your insurance company to deal with.

GirlcalledJack · 18/03/2019 14:23

I understand it’s really shitty for you OP but what about if the next person they feel the can bully around is a young, vulnerable woman (or man) that has just started driving or someone that is going through an awful time with no money and is on the breadline etc?

I know it shouldn’t have to be down to you but if you can try and stop those officers from doing this to vulnerable people then honestly I think you should try.

Summergarden · 18/03/2019 14:25

I knew it too!

Agree with recent posters that it’s worth you putting in a complaint about aggressive man and saying it was only his aggression that made you feel obligated to leave your details to get away from him and the situation. Say your parking sensors are reliable and didn’t indicate that you’d hit it at all.

It’s an abuse of position for you to be treated differently just because it was a Police officer’s car that was “damaged” (if it ever was).

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 14:25

Yes, you now have a target on your back OP. I'm a feisty one, so I never take the road of least resistance lol. Provide your insurance details. That's all you need to do. If they dare to try to slam you with charges again, say absolutely nothing and I mean nothing apart from to say that you'd like to speak to a solicitor first. What a fucking mess.

Pippa12 · 18/03/2019 14:28

I would be beside myself if this happened to me op, I’d of been devastated.

I really wouldn’t just accept what is being asked of you. I really urge you to get some advice, I’d probably start with citizens advice.

I’d reply to the gent and thank him for his email. I would state you were seeking legal advice before proceeding as you believed you did not hit his car. Then I would contact citizens advice, your union to utilise legal advice your insurance company instructions on what to do next.

They need to prove you hit that car, innocent until proven guilty in this country, not the other way round! You need to banish your anxiety and replace it with anger. You believe you have done nothing wrong, do not allow these people to bully you Flowers

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:29

I know I made a catalogue of errors in my panic - only leaving my phone number, not taking photos etc. So at the end of the day it’s my word against a police officer. I can’t risk them trying to pin all those charges on me and having months, maybe years of stress. If I had done everything correctly then maybe I could have fought it but I don’t feel I can sadly.

OP posts:
Daubergine · 18/03/2019 14:29

And people wonder how things like the Birmingham 6 and the Guildford 4 could have happened........

I've actually sat in court where a cop (who had been as nice as pie to me) lied like a pro - an Oscar winning performance of plagiarism - on the stand. I've never trusted the bastards since.

DarlingNikita · 18/03/2019 14:29

Really ticked off but not a lot I can do

Yes there is and, in the nicest possible way, you need to be a grown-up about this. Quite apart from standing up for yourself, as Girl says, what if they just carry on and next time do it to someone who will be even more upset, or worse, by it?

Listen to Daubergine and get ringing some solicitors.

Urgh2019 · 18/03/2019 14:30

I was involved in an incident in January where my car failed to come to a complete stop and rolled into another car.
The couple in the other car were extremely abusive although they admitted (their extremely old and battered) car had no damage and there was none on mine.
Luckily I had taken pictures of both cars.
I then received a text telling me I had damaged their car and how was I going to pay. I asked for a photo - nothing.
3 weeks later it started again. Asked for a photo again. Several days later a photo was sent which did not match mine and showed a dent which didn’t appear in my photos.
Then then started sending more texts asking for money otherwise they would go to their insurance. I pointed out that was fine as there was no damage on mine then my premium going up slightly was cheaper than giving them money.
Heard nothing since.... (and I sent EVERYTHING to my insurers, I hope they do try and get done for making a false claim).
People are fuckers...

I also found it upsetting. I’m a careful driver and someone screaming at me that ‘I had done it on purpose’ threw me off my guard.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 14:32

Which is why you need a solicitor's advice on how to proceed with this. It sounds like they are strong-arming you into being so grateful for no charges that you'll happily pay out of pocket without even going through insurance. You've been royally screwed over. It's not fucking right.

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:32

I can’t just ring a solicitor sadly. I’m not working at the moment due to my anxiety, I have a child with special needs and we are living on our overdraft. I can’t risk adding solicitor fees, court costs, fines etc. The chance of getting 9 points on my licence, losing my no claims when it is more than likely that I would never win if the police look after their own.

OP posts:
Hereward1332 · 18/03/2019 14:34

It's not your word against a police officer - it's your word against a shouty witness. The Police Officer is relying on him telling the truth. I don't see why you cannot just deny you hit him, and point out there is no damage on your car, then let the insurance companies fight it out.

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:36

Because if I cause a fuss and annoy the car owner (definitely a policeman) he is the one (as the ‘victim’) who has said he doesn’t want to push the charges against me if I sort it out amicably.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:37

Shouty witness either did the damage himself or is car owner’s football friend. So I’m pretty screwed

OP posts:
flitwit99 · 18/03/2019 14:37

I think you should call your insurers. They will tell you what to do and deal with it all for you. Are you not obliged to tell them of anything that affects your premium?

I drove into someone, he stalled pulling away at traffic lights and I ran into him. I got several lawyers letters and every one sent me into a mad panic. The insurers just said to send everything on to then and not give it a minute's worry.
I can now laugh at the letter where he was asking for £10,000 for damage to his left buttock but I wasn't laughing at the time.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 14:38

You can ask a solicitor to call you back though. If what they're potentially charging you with carries a custodial sentence, you are entitled to full legal aid. I know several solicitors who would love nothing more than to take on a case like this. A call back to discuss whether there is any case, is absolutely free. Watch your back OP.

reallybadidea · 18/03/2019 14:40

Do you have any legal expenses cover on your home insurance OP?

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:43

i don’t think the legal expenses on home insurance covers motoring stuff but I must be wrong.

They’ve certainly done it well - humiliation and embarrassment for myself and my daughter at her club and then a complete stitch up. I could cry.

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 18/03/2019 14:45

Contact your insurers and let them handle it.
They are the experts

Even if you lose your No Claims bonus, it could be cheaper than having to pay an inflated repair charge on a acar that could be quite damaged - because it happene somewhere else

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 14:47

The policeman at the time asked me if I remembered what colour the car was that I ‘hit’ and I said no as I honestly couldn’t. I didn’t take anything in at the time it happened due to the aggressive man. I did think that was an odd question. So maybe they are going to send me a bill for repairing any old car and I would never know Confused

OP posts:
reallybadidea · 18/03/2019 14:50

i don’t think the legal expenses on home insurance covers motoring stuff but I must be wrong.

Worth double checking. Even if not insurers often provide access to a legal advice helpline who might be able to at least discuss it with you.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 14:51

All of this sounds as dodgy as fuck. They can't just read out what you're being investigated for without giving you the right (in a way that you understand) to legal representation. None of this sounds right at all, which is why your story didn't add up to some posters maybe. They've done nothing by the book from my understanding of it.

I feel so sorry for you OP.

I was coerced into taking a caution for an idiotic offence (it was some sort of exclusion zone in a public area where the police told me that I wasn't allowed to be there so we moved, a row then broke out in the area we had moved to and I returned to the original place). I was arrested and put into the back of a police van. They said they had told me what this exclusion zone was and given me paperwork about it! They had given no such fucking thing. Silly young inexperienced solicitor told me to take a caution. Then explained that if I didn't admit that I was guilty of this massive offence, I couldn't accept a caution. I never admitted that I was guilty because I wasn't however they issued me with a caution which is now on my record. I knew I shouldn't have accepted it, but I had spent 36 hours in a cell and was just happy to get out of there! I fucking hate police!

CallMeCarolDanvers · 18/03/2019 14:55

Jeez, conspiracy theories everywhere Hmm

OP thinks she hit a car
OP left without providing details generally ought to provide, and didn't report the collision either
Someone reported damage to their car
Police asked her a few questions about the damage
Police called her back when she rang, spoke nicely, and told her there would be no action taken against her
Police officer told her to sort the damage claim out however she best saw fit. If someone says they saw her hit a car, and that car has damage, then unless she can prove it was damaged before hand then let's face it, her insurance will pay out. So going privately may well be cheaper in the long run.
Hardly the Guildford fucking 4. What an offensive and insulting comparison.

CallMeCarolDanvers · 18/03/2019 14:56

Daubergine your anger would be better directed at your appalling solicitor.