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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have just been charged by the police and not know what to do next

366 replies

Worriedmummy2 · 17/03/2019 13:01

This morning I was at netball club with my young daughter when 2 police officers turned up and asked to speak to me. I was panic stricken as I thought something had happened to my husband and son.

They took me a short distance away from everyone and read me my rights. I think I went into shock at the point and have difficulty recalling what was said next.

I all revolves around an incident 2 weeks ago at the same club. The carpark is always busy as a netball and football club is on at the same time. I had trouble getting into a space and tried to edge in really slowly. I was literally going so slowly the speed wasn’t even registering. I was struggling to get in and a space opened up right behind me so I parked there instead. A man then walked up to my window and said ‘you just hit that car’. I replied that I don’t think I hit anything, I didn’t feel anything and was watching very carefully. I also have back sensors which did not go off at all. The man then got aggressive and kept stating that I hit another car. My 6 year old daughter was with me and was getting upset. I said ok I will leave a note.

I then found the only scrappy bit of paper in the car that I could and wrote my mobile on it. I waited until the man walked away as I felt unsafe then went over to the car which I presumed was the one he meant. I could see no damage and there was no damage to my car. Nevertheless I put my phone number under the wiper. I didn’t write on it ‘I got your car’ or anything as I honestly don’t believe I did.

Fast forward 2 weeks and the police turn up. They gave me a list of offences - I think there were 3 and I think one was failing to stop and failing to report an accident. They said Aggressive man told the owner of the car that I had just left a blank piece of paper on the car but that he had my details. I explained what had actually happened I think but, to be honest, I was so stressed I imagine it was pretty jumbled. I’m just in disbelief. Why on earth would anyone leave a blank piece of paper when you go there every week, someone has taken a picture of your car etc.

I even showed them texts I sent to my husband 10 minutes later about what had happened and how I had left my details. I said in the text, I don’t think I hit them but they’ll probably try to claim for everything now so that will be our insurance going up.

The police read the texts, made a note of everything I had said and said they would investigate more. Have I been charged? Do I need a solicitor? What should I do next? My anxiety is through the roof after reading those charges can mean 6 months in prison. Haven’t stopped crying all day.

OP posts:
Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:20

But promise me that you will not under any circumstances admit liability for this.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:27

Police are on good salaries (40-50k for standard plod). So the argument that they can't pay their mortgages and are therefore open to corruption does not wash with me. They are in the vast majority men, given power. They are the most corrupt organisation I know of. And I've dealt with my fair share of bastards in my time.

I know that this may not be the hill you wish to die on. That's probably why they picked you. They knew you wouldn't fight back. I'd get angry about that! I'm Irish and a Libran though, and I can get very angry at injustice.
My Turrets is coming out so I keep having to re-edit this post lol.

CustardCreamLover · 18/03/2019 17:28

If this is real then it's a good thread for daily fail to pick up!! Clearly they are busy today haha

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:48

Where I'm from it was always the sportier, taller, dumber men who couldn't get into uni who went for the police. Testosterone. I'm surprised they didn't test for a low IQ and a high testosterone level in recruitment lol. Because that's who they recruited. And the ones who succeed show exceedingly high levels of idiocy and testosterone. Oh and corruption.

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:50

OP you will never win head to head with police. A solicitor can run rings around them though.
Just be careful. They have targeted you for some reason.

The injustice of this infuriates me!

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:55

And after falling down a rabbit hole of seeking to find out how to get my caution deleted and calling about 10 different numbers I was referred to, I spoke for about 10 minutes to an officer who searched the database in an attempt to find the custody record. He eventually found it and laughed out loud (I may or may not have taken my handcuffs off and hidden them on the police when I was arrested). My offence was 'Failure to disperse.......' Criminal mastermind me!

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 17:58

OP, are you brave enough to respond to the email saying that you did not hit their car?

SuziQ10 · 18/03/2019 18:00

There was no damage on the car so nothing will come of this. They have to prove it was you. How can they If your car is not damaged & there's no proof of anything. Stress how aggressive the man was, and that you felt scared of him.

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 18:21

Well I’ve received 2 quotes for around the £200 mark - he didn’t appear to have taken his car anywhere, just sent them pictures of the ‘damage’. Not what I would have done if this had been legitimate - surely you would take it somewhere for a proper quote. One of the quotes actually says £200ish. Still, the cost wasn’t as much as I was expecting. Conveniently below or equal to the usual insurance excess which again seems odd.

OP posts:
Daubergine · 18/03/2019 18:24

How is he suggesting you pay them? Directly to him?

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 18:25

We haven’t got to that point yet but I’m expecting it will be Confused

OP posts:
Daubergine · 18/03/2019 18:29

So what are you going to do? Pay it?
Btw, no judgment from me here - it's not easy to stand up to corruption. Fuck all you can do, as the police investigate themselves lol.

For my own sanity and a peaceful life I'd probably pay it too, but the rebel in me would want to fight it to the last tooth and nail.

N0rdicStar · 18/03/2019 18:29

Have you pointed out there was no damage on the cars?Confused

N0rdicStar · 18/03/2019 18:30

I bloody wouldn’t.

Karwomannghia · 18/03/2019 18:32

I don’t have anxiety but I would also have absolutely got in a panic if 2 policemen had read my rights about a non-bump. Honestly that wasn’t necessary at all.
My dh gently rolled into another car but we did go through insurance. Other party tried to claim for whiplash etc. Insurance fought it and it was dropped. Absolutely go through insurance is my advice they do it all for you and you don’t have to be in contact with them personally again. You didn’t bump the car. Don’t pay. Tell your insurers about the aggressive man, they will fight because they hate paying out.
First thing is always take photos too. Maybe get dash cams. I’m thinking of doing it.

bigbangfangirl · 18/03/2019 18:33

OP, if you feel that you have been unfairly treated and this person is abusing their position as a police officer, then please report this to the police professional standards department... he should not be doing this and should not get away with it... and I'm a police officer telling you that.

The police have said they are not taking it further, if you believe you didn't hit him, refuse to pay and let the insurance fight it out

Daubergine · 18/03/2019 18:33

It's what you're up for mentally. I wouldn't go into a ring with police as they are dirty bastards who will use below the belt to win. I've tried it and lost. You can't fight dishonesty. It's almost impossible. Corruption is usually more than one involved too. They have the power to make your life hell. £200 to get them off your back is probably a small price to pay. I'm so sorry that you became a target for this.

Tunnocks34 · 18/03/2019 18:34

I had a car crash into me last year.

I had a witness.

The driver denied it, and despite the witness the police found in his favour.

Original poster
Worriedmummy2 · 18/03/2019 18:38

Trust me I want to fight it as it angers me so much that they are going to get away with it. So if I was more robust and had infinite funds for top solicitors and a chauffeur if I get banned then I would.

But I don’t. If I go through insurance they will just pay out anyway as there is an ‘independent’ witness saying I did it. So I’ve won nothing there and lost my no claims. I will probably get charged and so it will end up costing me more than £200.

Sadly I’m going to have to pay.

OP posts:
Daubergine · 18/03/2019 18:42

I get that OP. You don't need to be anyone's warrior. You need to do what's right for you and your family.
It's still fucking infuriating though right? I know exactly how you feel.

Believe me I know.

Just pay the ransom I guess and get them off your back.
It's fucking so unjust!!!!!!!!!!

Youcangoyourownwoo · 18/03/2019 18:44

Is there a possibility you'll pay which will be acknowledging guilt then hell go through the insurance anyway?

AnneElliott · 18/03/2019 18:44

Op - this sounds dodgy (and I work with the police).

I agree that you hand it over to the insurers, telling them you did not hit the car and let them deal with it.

Separately complain to the relevant police force. If you want to PM me with where it was I'll find you the details for the Head of the Professional Standards. They should not have spent their time on this - it's not a serious issue and (based on what you've said) is an abuse of their powers.

MissMudskipper · 18/03/2019 18:45

I use to work in car insurance claims - you need to ring them for "notification purposes" especially if there is no damage to your vehicle. I cant remember if you said there wasnt any damage to the third party vehicle. It doesn't matter if you dont have any of their details as it's just for notification. Tell them all about the aggressive witness and what has subsequently happened. It sounds dodgy and your insurance company will pick up on this.

At my old job if we thought something was dodgy we'd send an engineer out to inspect both vehicles. They can tell what's old and new damage.

Tell this person whose sent you the quotes to go through the insurance. You dont need this stress. If you've got your no claims protected then that's good news! Let the insurance deal with this. You dont pay an excess if theres no damage to your car.

puppymouse · 18/03/2019 18:48

Really feel for you OP. I had a shunt with a car last summer at a red light. I either lost my biting point and rolled into him or he rolled backwards into me (steep hill and I was behind him.) He's taking me to court for around 15k's worth of damages including PI.

I know he's lying. My insurer know he's lying but not much they can do. It'll probably cost them more to fight it than just pay him but they have chosen to instruct their solicitors regardless as they think he's fraudulently claiming. He hasn't told his insurer and has an identical claim for same injuries from three years ago. None of which is mentioned in his medical report.

People are horrid.

AnneElliott · 18/03/2019 18:49

I really don't think you should pay this op - what if he comes back next month with further damage he wasn't aware of - it could escalate to more than £200.

Just hand it over to your insurer, and definitely complain. I can promise you the Chief will want to deal with this - these cops are often the sort they're trying to get rid of!