Was my friend BU about this person parking over her driveway?

[cantbebotheredtoday]

I went to visit my friend the other day, call her H. As I was coming up to her house I noticed a car was half over her driveway, so as my friends car was parked in the driveway I had to park half in and half out her driveway, the back of my car was sticking out onto the road since the other car was blocking me from getting into the free space in her driveway.

Anyway, as I was getting out my car, a woman with her daughter (she had just picked her up from school and that's why she had parked there) came up to me, looking quite flustered and said "I'm really sorry, I'm just moving." I just replied it's okay as I hate confrontation and she had apologised.

I get to my friends door and H comes to the door and was like, "look at that woman parked over my drive" I told her she had apologised, H then proceeded to go up to the woman and say, "could you watch where you are parking in future as people can't get in and out my driveway" the woman replied that she had said sorry and H then said, "that's not the point, it's my driveway!" And stormed away. The woman then apologised again.

I'm just wondering if I am being unreasonable in thinking my friend was being a bit unreasonable. The woman had apologised and was affronted, I just think my friend over reacted but maybe I'm wrong. Personally unless I needed out of my driveway, it's not something I would get upset or worked up about. But I also wouldn't park over someone's driveway, partially or not.

Thoughts?

@Honeyroar yeah I see your point, I shouldn't have told her it was okay as it clearly wasn't for my friend.

Your friend was entirely reasonable and I bet this wasn't an isolated incident.

In London I had a disabled space outside my house and one woman in particular would park on it when collecting her children. I asked her nicely several times not to park there which she ignored until I got mad and double parked blocking her car in and didn't move until the following morning despite her banging on my door and screaming obscenities through the letterbox. She didn't park there again.

He was actually a Policeman and he cautioned me while he was at it. I later learned he hadn’t filed it. I get why he was angry but his reaction was disproportionate and, frankly, bullying

I bet he didn't file it because then you would have been able to make a formal complaint about his shouting.

@silverysurfer - that was brave!

I think the poster who said you may have felt undermined by your friend shouting after you saying it was ok was right.

As everyone else has said as well, your friend is not BU. I do hope she doesn't read this thread! There may be a confrontation coming your way if she does....

Happens to my friend all the time - their neighbours have five vehicles and I can’t believe it has not come to fisticuffs

Your friend is probably frazzled by this (you develop a sensitivity to these things and your arrival and being blocked is just the event your friend will be anxious about). Watch out if she puts a snow plough on the car

How would my friend see this post? She's not on mumsnet.

I don't think that your friend wbu.

Her car was blocked in by someone on a school run.

It's not as if they were even in sight of their car should your friend come out of her house & want to go out.

My dad used to get people parking across his drive & sometimes, thinking they were being smart they'd say that there was no car on the drive.

So he'd ask them what the building at the end was-yes-a garage!!

And guess what was in it???

Is it that unusual to have a car in a fucking garage??

larry No, he was definitely a bully - you weren’t there. And I disagree that it’s tough - I was within my right to complain about him but I didn’t because I sympathise with how frustrated he was.

As I have said (twice now), I agreed with him, I shouldn’t have parked there and have never parked across a drive again. It was a one off lapse in my judgement outside on my own road (not outside a school). I wasn’t a repeat offender and he abused his position as an off duty policeman with the manner in which he quite rightly told me off.

I have explained now three times that I agreed with him - I thought the thread was about whether it’s OK to have a massive go at someone who has already apologised when you are right and someone else is wrong (not whether I was an idiot for parking across someone’s drive 20 years ago - ) and I personally don’t

The unreasonable person was the lady who felt entitled to park across someone’s driveway, thinking a simple “I’m sorry.” (when clearly she isn’t sorry, she chose to park across a driveway) is sufficient to be a CF.

@Limensoda - I don’t park over people’s drive ways so I’m not part of the problem. Just because I don’t get worked up and have a bitch fit over something I see as small doesn’t make me selfish.

@harrysnorter - is that a daily occurrence in your life ? Although wouldn’t be a massive issue as I have a 1 car drive way and my household currently has 3 vehicles. I’d take a car that’s parked on the road in an emergency.

gamerwidow - I didn’t say they were wrong, I just agreed with the OP that I don’t get worked up over it. Like another poster has said it saves my blood pressure.

rafferty I don’t nees to leave every day, schools close to I walk mine and I work part time. It also takes 2 minutes to move the car.

This is definitely a parking thread where I need a diagram. I simple can't figure out how the OP managed to park half in their friend H's (from Steps?) driveway if someone was blocking access because they were parked over half the entrance to H's driveway.

I'm very distracted by the fact that I feel if you can get the front half of a car passed a car that half-way across entrance to the driveway sure you can the back half passed too.

Unless the car was actually the drive way and it's only two and a half cars long. Then I don't get how the returning lady got her car out as the OP's car would be behind.

I apologise if this confusing conundrum has been solved. I might have missed it.

Your friend was definitely not being at all unreasonable. It may well be a regular occurrence and would be very frustrating, especially if your friend needed to go out at that time.

I am glad that you now accept that you had no business telling the silly stupid fool who had partially blocked the driveway that it was OK.. It isn't.

This is frustrating, I am trying to post the diagram and it's saying 'new users cannot post diagram'. I can send to someone and they can post if helpful?

I assume the drive allows 2 cars to park side by side rather than one in front of the other RedForShort.
The CF parked over the half that OP would have parked on. The OP had to park her behind her friend's car instead of beside it

Is it something like this OP?

Exactly like that!
Thank you!

If you choose to live next to a school you kind of have to expect people to park in front of your house. Schools never seem to have adequate parking for parents, it’s always been the same. Your friend probably gets tired of it happening five days a week but your friend chose to live there so 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think she overreacted and probably made the Mum feel shit.

I suppose your friend should be thankful that she wasn't blocked in.

She probably has to deal with the same CFs (probably the same woman too) every single day.
And, no, just because you live close to a school you shouldn't have to expect to have your drive blocked by parents parking. IME, parents more often than not can park just a bit down the road if they really need to drive there.

Your friend was NBU.

YWBU in parking partly on the drive and partly on the road, even though you moved at the earliest opportunity.

The OW WBU in partly blocking the drive. This woman also apologised to you who had no connection whatsoever to the property.

The apology means nothing. She shouldn't have blocked the drive. You shouldn't have blocked the road. What if your friend had needed to get off the drive for something before the woman returned to her car and couldn't?

I absolutely hate ignorant people who block drives. It is illegal to block a drive with a vehicle on it.

I live on a road with a school on it. Parents are an absolute fucking nightmare and constantly do things like this. Parking across drives, dumping the car in the middle of the road between two cars causing a jam, sometimes even using driveways of strangers.

It’s always the same. They can’t be bothered to get their a few minutes earlier park somewhere sensible and walk. They always say ‘Oh, I’m sorry, it was a one off and I was only 10 minutes’ but it happens twice a day every day and you really don’t fucking care if it’s the same person every day or a different one, they just shouldn’t do it. About 50% of the parents think they’re the special person that the rules don’t apply to.

I’m not at all surprised your friend gets pissed off.

Your friend was not being unreasonable and was absolutely right to confront the woman.

It’s irrelevant the woman said sorry; she didn’t mean it as she deliberately parked there and didn’t give a shit who it might affect.

I live round the corner from a primary school. Several random people have parked on my drive since I bought this house a year ago. If they're in the car when I spot them, I tell them to move. If they're not in the car, I leave a note on their windscreen. Not a single one has ever knocked on my door to say sorry, or put a note through the letterbox apologising. I got so frustrated that I started posting pictures of the cars on our town's Facebook group, saying I thought they'd been abandoned and would call the police if they weren't moved. That got the message across (It's a small town), and it happens very rarely now. I did try putting traffic cones on my drive, but they were stolen. I've also put a sign up explaining there is no unauthorised parking, but people ignore it. Your friend was eminently reasonable.

Urgh I can see what you mean OP, let it go etc. But I think that an apology doesn't cut it here. The woman knew she was doing wrong, its not like she inadvertently caused your friend inconvenience, she knew it would, but went ahead anyway.

A 5 year old might be able to take the 'do bad, if caught out, say you're really really sorry' routine, but not an adult.