Was my friend BU about this person parking over her driveway?

[cantbebotheredtoday]

I went to visit my friend the other day, call her H. As I was coming up to her house I noticed a car was half over her driveway, so as my friends car was parked in the driveway I had to park half in and half out her driveway, the back of my car was sticking out onto the road since the other car was blocking me from getting into the free space in her driveway.

Anyway, as I was getting out my car, a woman with her daughter (she had just picked her up from school and that's why she had parked there) came up to me, looking quite flustered and said "I'm really sorry, I'm just moving." I just replied it's okay as I hate confrontation and she had apologised.

I get to my friends door and H comes to the door and was like, "look at that woman parked over my drive" I told her she had apologised, H then proceeded to go up to the woman and say, "could you watch where you are parking in future as people can't get in and out my driveway" the woman replied that she had said sorry and H then said, "that's not the point, it's my driveway!" And stormed away. The woman then apologised again.

I'm just wondering if I am being unreasonable in thinking my friend was being a bit unreasonable. The woman had apologised and was affronted, I just think my friend over reacted but maybe I'm wrong. Personally unless I needed out of my driveway, it's not something I would get upset or worked up about. But I also wouldn't park over someone's driveway, partially or not.

Thoughts?

Just because you have little back bone, it isn't up to you to absolve some CF for their wrongdoing. It isn't your drive! I'd be really angry with you if I were that friend for minimising my justified anger.

@Grumpelstilskin haha I have little backbone? No I just don't seem to get wound up over little silly things. I don't walk around with such pent up anger like many people do just waiting to explode over something that I'm the big picture actually does not matter at all.

I don't walk around with such pent up anger like many people do just waiting to explode over something that I'm the big picture actually does not matter at all.

I'm not an angry person. I hate confrontation and drama. I really, really resent the people who drag me into difficult situations by persistently blocking my drive. I don't want to get involved in anyone else's business if I can avoid it. I don't care if you're running late/traffic was bad/your little one's asleep/you've got an elderly person in the car. Don't block me in or out and I won't be forced to interact with you.

The people who think it doesn't matter 'in the grand scheme of things' are precisely those who don't mind a bit of a telling off in exchange for being able to drop 'Little whoever' directly outside the school gate. Zero consideration for others. It's a totally selfish act and there are no acceptable excuses.

This is a difficult one. Obviously it must be annoying for your friend having people blocking her drive. Having said that, we do have to acknowledge that placement of drives does cause issues for people trying to park for pretty important reasons e.g. school drop offs and GP appointments.

I think it therefore comes with the territory(and privilege) of having a drive that it will be parked over at times when people need to be places quickly. Certainly not anythibg to get annoyed about.

that I'm the big picture actually does not matter at all.

Inconsiderate, lazy and selfish parents parking over your driveway twice a day, five days a week for the majority of the year is not something that “doesn’t matter at all”.

They are continually deliberately restricting her access because they can’t be arsed to park in a sensible and legal manner and walk to pick their kids up.

Bloody parents round here think it's fine to park ON the pavements while they mooch up the road to get DD and i bet half the walk will be up the middle of the road!

Your friend was absolutely not being unreasonable- just because someone does something they clearly know is wrong and says sorry afterwards and looks embarrassed that they were caught, does not make it right

I think it therefore comes with the territory(and privilege) of having a drive that it will be parked over at times when people need to be places quickly. Certainly not anythibg to get annoyed about.

You're surely kidding, right? My Victorian house (and entrance) was there 85 years before the school across the road from me was built. I can't believe that you've actually written "it will be parked over at times". This is exactly why the OP's friend, and I, get angry. This is exactly the attitude I encounter on a daily basis. Such supreme selfish, anti-social behaviour. Honestly, it beggars belief.

I think it therefore comes with the territory(and privilege) of having a drive that it will be parked over at times when people need to be places quickly.

What a bizzare attitude YellowFish123.

There is absolutely no need for parents to be on the doorstep of their child's school to drop off. They simply drive to find a road that has a free space. Their child might be late for school and they might be later for work but next time they'll know to leave 10 minutes earlier and park 10 minutes walk away.

Out of interest, do you extend your "privileges" to other people Yellow? Do you allow people who can't be bothered to walk home to pop in and use your toilet perhaps?

OP, you're one of those people who will block strangers' driveways, aren't you?

That's a different issue @RaffertyFair. My toilet is inside my house, and the fact it is inside my house does not cause any issues for the needs of others.

Drives existing on public roads actually imposes an unfair burden on many others- i.e. there is no parking space where there otherwise would be. It should therefore be expected and tolerated that people will then park there in some circumstances.

To be fair on the OP, Lweji I don't think she would. But *YellowFish1238 obviously woud, because she thinks drive owners should expect it!

Drives existing on public roads actually imposes an unfair burden on many others- i.e. there is no parking space where there otherwise would be. It should therefore be expected and tolerated that people will then park there in some circumstances.

What absolute bollocks YellowFish123

If you have an issue with the number of drop kerbs sanctioned by your planning department, then take it up with them.

To suggest that people have the right to park without consideration for others is selfish and totally inconsiderate.

Your friend was right to call her out on it. Speaking as someone who lives near a shop it infuriates me the amount of people who block my drive. Everyone is always sorry and always "I was only a minute". But when it's 60 people a day it adds up, and it's never just a minute anyway.

Even if it is a just a minute if it means I can't get in my drive and there's nowhere else to pull over I have to do a 5minute loop of the village and come back to see if they've buggered off yet and hope nobody else has taken their place.

So I do lose it slightly with people now but they've brought it on themselves and hopefully it will make them think twice. If your friend just smiles nicely st them they will keep doing it!

@RaffertyFair

What about consideration for the needs of people dropping their DC at school or attending doctors appointments who need to park?

In the unlikely event that the drive-owner needs to rush somewhere important while their drive is out of use for a few hours, there is the option of public transport or asking a neighbour/friend for a lift.

What about consideration for the needs of people dropping their DC at school or attending doctors appointments who need to park?

I've already answered that. Yellow

How can you possibly consider parents dropping children at school to have any need let alone right to park anywhere?

Consideration for the parking needs of a locality is the responsibility of the local authority.

Drives existing on public roads actually imposes an unfair burden on many others

It's similar to residents parking.

But a two car drive usually takes less space than two cars parallel parked along the road.

If a road is full of dropped kerbs, it will be because it's a residential rather than a commercial road, so those parking there are not likely to have anything to do with the house residents.

School catchment areas mean that parents do tend to live within walking distance. Most parents probably don't need to drive to drop their children off.
I used to walk DS to pre-school quite easily. About a 5-10 min walk across a field. Husband at the time always took the car to get him.

Drives existing on public roads actually imposes an unfair burden on many others.

And your house is probably built on what was once a field. If my dog wants to run around your garden you surely can't object?

A drive means at least one less car parked on the public road. My driveway entrance is approximately the same width as my car is long. If I didnt have a drive I'd be parking on the public road and taking up the same amount of space. My driveway is actually big enough for 3 cars, so much less public toad parking space required by me!

In the unlikely event that the drive-owner needs to rush somewhere important while their drive is out of use for a few hours, there is the option of public transport or asking a neighbour/friend for a lift.

Good joke. It wins the thread.

In the unlikely event that the drive-owner needs to rush somewhere important while their drive is out of use for a few hours, there is the option of public transport or asking a neighbour/friend for a lift.

Ahhhh I get it Yellow! You are winding me up I'll stop biting now.

(No one could actually believe what you wrote)

In the unlikely event that the drive-owner needs to rush somewhere important while their drive is out of use for a few hours, there is the option of public transport or asking a neighbour/friend for a lift.

I admit you got me too! I realise now you're obviously winding us up. Well done you.

But you'll have to forgive me for falling for it. I've met plenty of real-llife selfish, ignorant tossers who really are blind to the impact of their actions, so your remarks were easy to believe.

I think it therefore comes with the territory(and privilege) of having a drive that it will be parked over at times when people need to be places quickly. Certainly not anythibg to get annoyed about.

I assume that those who post things like this are the same CFs who disregard other people and act selfishly themselves. And FYI YellowFish, my drive isn’t a privilege, nobody gave it to me, I paid for it.

Drives existing on public roads actually imposes an unfair burden on many others.

Oh do use your head! If you blocked our drive with your car (one car length dropped curb) that'd be 5 cars parked along the road that night instead of off the road and on the drive.

OP, I hope your friend dumps you and finds herself decent people instead of a brat like you!

Your friend was not being unreasonable, the constant bad parking is extremely frustrating.

My Mum lives near a church and if completely fed up of not being able to get in/out of her drive on a Sunday. I once had a woman standing in front of the drive refusing to move because she was holding the space for her elderly mother, apparently this trumped my need to visit my mother.

The worst part is the attitude, if you dare to complain to the church goers they act as if you are being unreasonable. They seem to have this belief that going to church is an inherently virtuous and important thing, that they are better than you because they are in church and you only want to go shopping.