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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my friend BU about this person parking over her driveway?

292 replies

cantbebotheredtoday · 17/03/2019 10:06

I went to visit my friend the other day, call her H. As I was coming up to her house I noticed a car was half over her driveway, so as my friends car was parked in the driveway I had to park half in and half out her driveway, the back of my car was sticking out onto the road since the other car was blocking me from getting into the free space in her driveway.

Anyway, as I was getting out my car, a woman with her daughter (she had just picked her up from school and that's why she had parked there) came up to me, looking quite flustered and said "I'm really sorry, I'm just moving." I just replied it's okay as I hate confrontation and she had apologised.

I get to my friends door and H comes to the door and was like, "look at that woman parked over my drive" I told her she had apologised, H then proceeded to go up to the woman and say, "could you watch where you are parking in future as people can't get in and out my driveway" the woman replied that she had said sorry and H then said, "that's not the point, it's my driveway!" And stormed away. The woman then apologised again.

I'm just wondering if I am being unreasonable in thinking my friend was being a bit unreasonable. The woman had apologised and was affronted, I just think my friend over reacted but maybe I'm wrong. Personally unless I needed out of my driveway, it's not something I would get upset or worked up about. But I also wouldn't park over someone's driveway, partially or not.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
viques · 17/03/2019 12:30

just wondering why you needed to give your friend a name (H) . It wasn't a complicated story, and there were only three of you ,four if you count the child (who I am calling Georgina).

Flowers

Sorry, I get very bugged when people go into long complicated stories involving whole alphabets of people and it is impossible to keep track of them. Just give them a name , a proper name, doesn't have to be their real one!

cantbebotheredtoday · 17/03/2019 12:30

@coffeeismyspinach you're very angry aren't you? A drop of a friend 😂 wow. @FrancisCrawford are you qualified to give out medical advice? You don't know a thing about my injury and people heal at different paces. I had a bimalleor fracture and dislocation, 1 surgery. My surgeon gave me the okay to drive when I could do an emergency stop, which I can. I think it's pretty standard to still be in pain after a break and it's made worse by walking a distance. My physio says I am healing at a very fast pace, probably due to being young (27).

OP posts:
Order654 · 17/03/2019 12:31

I just think my friend over reacted but maybe I'm wrong. Personally unless I needed out of my driveway, it's not something I would get upset or worked up about.

I feel the same OP. Unless I need to actually get off my drive I don’t give a crap who parks across it and it has happened. I can’t be bothered to get worked up over the little things in life.

coffeeismyspinach · 17/03/2019 12:32

@coffeeismyspinach you're very angry aren't you?

No, I just think any so-called friend who starts some thread on a huge internet site that's known to be fodder for tabloid journos to show up her mate is a bit of a twat, that's all. But who knows, maybe if it shows up in the Daily Mail and your friend recognises it's about her she'll say 'sorry'. Grin

Stawp · 17/03/2019 12:34

A parking thread without a diagram? 🤔 I just came for the diagram, but I can see why your friend was annoyed. It's not like the woman wasn't aware she'd parked like a dick when she chose to park like a dick. She was only sorry she got caught out.

cantbebotheredtoday · 17/03/2019 12:34

@coffeeismyspinach I'm not trying to show up anyone.

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 17/03/2019 12:37

Having said that, I was completely U for parking there! I deserved to be told off, just not in that threatening manner (IMO). I hadn’t actually realised I had done it, it was a mistake. You were probably the straw that broke the camels back. The house owner has probably asked nicely, and got excuses, asked not so nicely and got more excuses. You received the brunt of his anger and probably more excuses.

Why did you not look and double check you were not blocking his drive. You knew you were parking near driveways so YOU should have doubled checked YOU were not blocking whether fully or even part way. You need to be responsible as where you park and not just dump and run.

RaffertyFair · 17/03/2019 12:40

Unless I need to actually get off my drive I don’t give a crap who parks across it

How do you monitor that one Order654? I'm guessing you don't live by a school?

I can't watch the road and leap out to speak to CF parkers before I leave the house. I expect them not to park across my drive so I can access it as and when I need to need to. The best way to do this is to routinely explain that parking across my dropped kerb is inconsiderate. And I know for a fact that this is regularly pointed out in the school newsletter.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/03/2019 12:44

OP YABVU to have not provided the requisite diagram

Jenniferyellowcat · 17/03/2019 12:46

Thanks clutterbug, as mentioned, lesson was learned Grin No excuses from me - I accepted and have said I was in the wrong. (Have you never made a momentary mistake while preoccupied?)

He was actually a Policeman and he cautioned me while he was at it. I later learned he hadn’t filed it. I get why he was angry but his reaction was disproportionate and, frankly, bullying.

PoshPenny · 17/03/2019 12:46

Your friend is probably sick and tired of selfish inconsiderate parking. I suppose at least this woman was apologetic at being caught out, but she probably will carry on parking where she likes...

Order654 · 17/03/2019 12:46

I do live near a school actually, in a village.

I don’t monitor it, I don’t have time for that.

If I’m not going out then I don’t bother looking out my window to get annoyed at people parking over my drive.

If I know I’m going out at school time then I move my car off the drive and park it over it the night before.

There is no point the school putting it in newsletters. No one pays attention to them, schools can’t do anything, your just wasting there time phoning up and harping on about people parking over your drive.

Vango · 17/03/2019 12:49

I can feel my blood pressure rising just reading your OP! I live opposite a school. My drive is often blocked twice per day (sometimes x3 times if there's an after school event). In the old days I accepted the apologies and asked people not to do it again. Years later I just cannot tolerate the "sorry, I'm only picking up/dropping off" excuses. I don't care. Don't block my drive. If you're blocking my drive I will shout at you (and I've been called enough names myself by people I've made move). You really need to experience it daily to properly understand it so my sympathy is entirely with your friend.

TheOxymoron · 17/03/2019 12:49

She was only sorry because she was caught.

pigsDOfly · 17/03/2019 12:52

The school my DC used to go to was at the end of a cul de sac.

It was quite a large school and the vast majority of childre were driven to school.

We were supposed to park in the main road and walk to the school but of course a large percentage of the parents didn't think this rule applied to them and would park where ever they fancied. There were rows between the residents and parents every morning and afternoon.

Just imagine what it must be like to live near a school and not be able to get out of your drive or down your street twice a day. It would drive me mad, so no your friend WNBU.

Katinkka · 17/03/2019 12:52

I live near a school. If people ever park across my drive they get hell about it from me and never do it again. Doesn't happen much anymore. It is absolutely unforgivable to park over someone's drive and saying sorry doesn't make it OK.

Limensoda · 17/03/2019 12:55

I can’t be bothered to get worked up over the little things in life

Depends what you call a 'little thing'
I think it's people who say things like that are the ones who cause problems, can't see beyond their own selfish needs and think everyone else is the problem when it's them.

Vango · 17/03/2019 12:55

Unless I need to actually get off my drive I don’t give a crap who parks across it and it has happened.

I leave for work at school drop off and am occasionally home just before the pick up bell. Repeatedly trying to get on or off my own drive, blocked by other people who are loitering in the playground, has taken a toll on my patience.

HarrySnotter · 17/03/2019 12:59

I can’t be bothered to get worked up over the little things in life

I don't think that not being able to travel, in your own car, to A & E with an injured child therefore having to call and ambulance, because some prick has parked over your drive is a 'little thing'. But I'm sure you're far too chilled and 'cool' to worry about such stuff.

UnspiritualHome · 17/03/2019 13:00

If your ankle injury isrevent8ng you from walking far, then it’s still healing and I would be very concerned that yiu should not be driving

Not so. I have a very old ankle injury which occasionally flares up and makes it difficult to walk far, but it doesn't prevent me driving because it simply isn't the same movement . Plus, of course, if OP's injury is to her left ankle and she drives an automatic it would make no difference to her driving whatsoever.

I don't understand people claiming she was blocking the road. Self evidently if her vehicle extended no further into the road than the parked cars did, she wasn't.

gamerwidow · 17/03/2019 13:05

Order654
That’s fine if you take that attitude and it probably saves your blood pressure but if other people do want to make a fuss and get angry about it they are not wrong.

RaffertyFair · 17/03/2019 13:07

If I know I’m going out at school time then I move my car off the drive and park it over it the night before. Shock

That's bonkers.

And if you need to leave every day...??

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/03/2019 13:09

I get why he was angry but his reaction was disproportionate and, frankly, bullying

Tough. You wouldn’t have been bullied had you not parked inconsiderately.

Honeyroar · 17/03/2019 13:28

I think you were the unreasonable one, not your friend. Not for your parking, but because you told the lady that had blocked the drive it was ok. If your friend hadn't come out and had a rant the woman would have probably parked there again and again because she'd been told it's ok. It wasn't any of your business. And now you're criticising your friend! It's never ok to park over someone's drive. You have no idea when someone needs to get out.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 17/03/2019 13:29

get why he was angry but his reaction was disproportionate and, frankly, bullying

I hate the misuse of the word 'bullying'. Someone saying something to you that you don't like or even downright rude is not bullying.

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