Man weeing against wall. Am I wrong for having a go ?

[twittoo]

So first time in aibu. Out this evening, meal with family, waiting in taxi rank to go home, 2 men who I had previously seen in a pub causing problems. One man is stood weeing against the wall of a bank. I am no prude but that is disgusting. They were then really rude to me and insulting. Am I right for having a go? my husband basically told me to shut up in the taxi and I should let it go?? I don't agree...

Don't get involved. He was causing trouble in the pub earlier and may well have been spoiling for a fight. Pissing against a wall isn't nice but many men do it during a night out, I'm afraid. Choose your battles, let this go.

Can you imagine the uproar if this was a lady?

The lack of public toilets is an issue. Man goes to a pub, drinks pints of beer. Goes to the toilet in the pub (many times if like my DH). On the way home the last pint hits his bladder. No public toilets means that he has little choice. Of course he should go somewhere more discreet but after a few beers the inhibitions are down and simply turning his back may feel discreet enough.

Dont disturb a drunk man having a wee in a public place. He will feel vulnerable and is likely to lash out.

Doesnt make it right though.

YANBU-This is vile behaviour and if more people confronted the creatures who did it, it would be less common.

I found Plainspeaking's comments about your DH being "honour bound" to step in really weird. Does having a partner/male partner mean that women should avoid confrontation because he will have no choice but to get into a physical fight? Should we be careful to walk on the correct side of him when out together, so as to leave his sword arm free!?

It’s disgusting behaviour, but no way would I confront a drunk man who I’d seen causing trouble earlier.
Too big a risk of violence if they’re spoiling for a fight.

@Gnome

Surely you hold it until you get home? Or is bladder control a thing of the past?

Were you being unreasonable to confront a drunk man who'd been earlier causing trouble in the pub? Yes, you were unreasonable and stupid. Your husband was probably aware that it would be him that would end up with his head kicked in after defending you.

I think you were foolish to have a go at them considering you saw them causing trouble earlier in the evening.

Yes it is disgusting weeing against a wall.

Gnome Are men incapable of holding it in? Women can and do. Yet another example of some people holding men to a lower standard than is expected of women

Also wondering why Helen doesn’t actually give them the fines, would be far more of a deterrent surely?

Pssing on a bank is totally reasonable. The banks have been pssing on the rest of us for as long as anything can remember.

;-)

@Qwertylass a very full bladder might be too much to hold. From my experience of being out drinking with men is that for the first couple of pints they are fine then once the volume of liquid works its way through they are backwards and forwards to the toilet like they are caught on the door handle.

Where we lived in the Netherlands there were street urinals. Not pleasant but stopped (some) people weeing in shop doorways.

@CandleWithHair I think the difference is that more men drink high volume drinks. On the whole women tend to drink lower volume drinks.

In practical terms it is harder for women to wee even semi discretely away from a toilet. My personal objection to weeing in public is the mess and the smell not the act of doing it.

Disgusting and whilst not a subject to continue in a taxi or car home, right to object.

Are men incapable of holding it in?

As a few people have pointed out, a pint (let alone a few pints) is a huge amount of liquid. It's not equivalent to holding in a large coffee or a few glasses of wine.

It is disgusting and illegal. Before fixed penalty fines were brought in, I know a guy who was hauled up in court for this and was kicked out of our uni just before finals for bringing them into disrepute!

I don't think I'd be having a go at him myself though, I value my teeth too much...

If an individual (male or female) with no medical issues can't cope with drinking pints and getting home without wetting themselves/having a wee in the street, they need to drink fewer pints. I don't want to see it on a night out and I don't want to smell the consequences for the rest of the week.

@Armad
Exactly couldn't agree more.

Lol think you need to calm down Hellen 😂

@gnome
If they have been before they left the pub surely they can wait regardless of gender

Its disgusting but you need to pick your battles,its not worth getting into a fight over or worse.So many people are getting badly injured following altercations with strangers. Just leave it.
I was once at an appointment at a health centre and in the waiting room the stench of urine was making me gag and my eyes water. It was so bad I went upto the desk and told them that it stank. They said it was men coming back from the pub weeing against the doors/wall etc and the urine was coming in the building!
Why should people feel un comfortable because these filty bastards cant go to the loo before they leave the pub? More fines are needed.Plus a a lot will be going home and then weeing the bed as well.

If there were more public toilets available, this wouldn’t happen.

^^ This - absofuckinglutely.

I misjudged my bladder capacity one evening and got caught short on the (2.5 mile) walk home. I headed for the nearest public lav only to find it all locked up - at 7pm . (The bogs are in a car park and I am mildly ashamed to say that I squatted between 2 parked cars for a wee, but the alternative would have been pissing myself. It was January, thankfully, so dark!).

There are 2 other public toilets in town that shut at 7pm, and a third that may be open later, but that no-one local would use as it's the one the local junkies use for jacking up and is consequently full of used needles.

What are people to do when councils close public lavatories so early in the evening? Stay home?

There has been talk of closing all but one of them completely to save money.

YWBU
He’s the sort of bloke to lash out either at you if he’s ok with punching women or deck your dh to “keep your bird under control”. Your comment achieved nothing apart from a feeling of self righteousness and left your dh concerned.

In the early noughties I took a course and one of the participants was a young man from a deprived area on it. We were outside and he was having a cigarette and he opened a new pack and threw the papers/ cellophane on the floor whilst we were talking. I asked him what he was doing and we had a non judgmental chat about keeping his lovely city clean and respecting the people cleaning the streets. He honestly had never thought about it. I’d like to think I made a difference. He picked everything up and wasn’t embarrassed btw. This is an example, where I knew I was safe as there was mutual respect.

Sashkin
I would deffo rethink your strategy. What happens when your ds is walking alone, witnesses another man pissing and passes comment aged 10?

hellenbackagen-I have to say your language and attitude for a police officer or indeed a female is absolutely unacceptable.

Disgusting behaviour, but I would not have confronted them, you don't know how they will react. They are hardly going to say "oops sorry". I would have walked past them and commented to DH someyhing like "ahhh yuck look at them" type thing.

I've done this in the past (confronted men pissing in public, not pissed in public myself!) But it hasn't been when they've been drunk - I hate drunks, they scare me.Seen too many aggressive/violent ones). Helen if you were off duty would you confront them? Would you advise us to, or only police due to the possibility of violence?