To be feeling really sorry for myself.

[BoswellsBollocks]

I start a new job on Monday and I’m meeting up with some old friends next week too, so having had a tough time with anxiety and depression recently, I thought I’d colour my hair for my fresh new start.

It was dyed a reddish brown before with about an inch of natural roots, I decided a nice rich dark brown like I used to have would be perfect Instead it’s come out pure black.

I’m so upset and angry at myself. After feeling so down on myself for so long, I was just starting to feeling positive. Now with one look in the mirror I’m back to square one.

Now not only am I fat and useless, I’ve got stupid, shit hair too.

I can’t stop crying.

Tell me to get a grip please.

And it’s my birthday tomorrow and my parents are both still dead.

Ahhh that's shit.

It'll fade really quickly. Have you got anything planned for your birthday? I'm sorry about your parents.

Was it permanent or semi permanent?

I wonder if you could wash it out to help fade it a bit?

You could use ColourB4 if your hair is in ok condition and then redo it with a lighter chestnut.

Home dyes always always come out too dark, give it a week of washes (maybe in one day ) and it will calm down.

It probably looks fine...it's always a shock when you dye your hair. I always need to wear more make up than usual if my hair is very dark. That might help it seem less harsh.

Give it loads of shampoos with either a clarifying shampoo or a non-silicone one.

Anti dandruff shampoo will strip that right back, or you can buy a colour stripper from the supermarket x Then maybe put a different colour on top?

You are not useless, we have ALL cocked up a hair colour before now x

I think you're allowed to cry about that. I would.

Cry yourself out and then see if one of the suggestions above is possible?

It's hair. It's fixable.

Ahhh OP it'll be OK. I know it's difficult but when you're struggling there's a temptation to think everything needs to be perfect for you to be happy. In reality nothing is ever perfect and happiness comes when you can be happy despite the stuff that's wrong. Easier said than done though.

Oh, yy to anti dandruff shampoo. Head & shoulders will strip colour out pretty effectively. It's harsh stuff.

Try colourb4 or another dye remover. It will go ginger so you'd probably need to colour again straight away. You'll hear stories of how this will ruin your hair but I've done it many times, I make a lot of hair dye mistakes!

Thanks everyone, you’re helping to calm me down.

I’ve washed it twice with some Vosene which has done nothing except turn it into a huge, knotty bird’s nest. I know it’ll eventually fade. I just wanted to start my job feeling good and wanted to be looking my best when I see my friends. I’ve been neglecting myself a lot so this was one small thing I could do for me and I fuck it up.

Condition it and try to muck about with make up to see if you can rock this new look? I bet it looks better than you think!

If you can’t come round to it then the ColourB4 suggestion is a good one.

Get yourself some cheapo head and shoulders and rinse and repeat till your hands go sore! Sorry to hear this. I bet you still look fab. I hope you have a lovely birthday and the new job treats you well.

ColourB4 works well. How do you feel about sharing a face-censored pic so we can make suggestions?

I think I'd just kill it with a tub of conditioner. Leave on overnight so that even if it's too dark it'll be lovely and shiny.

Get yourself a deep conditioning treatment...blow dry it.

Slap on some fake tan...that helps if your hair colour feels too dark...

I’m sure it’s fine - it’s just a big change. You might need to adjust your makeup to make it work - darker hair will wash you out more so you might need a bit stronger makeup to balance it out

Happy birthday and good luck for your new job

I feel for you, I once dyed my hair bright orange and I then cried lots, which made my face swolllen and red. There was an audible gasp when I walked into a lecture the next day. I was advised to shampoo with Pantene, but my mum gave the best advice - nice hair accessories. What about putting on a thick hair band in a lighter colour to your hair, so the black is not so drastic?

You are not useless, you've got a new job and friends that care - your hair will fix, in the meantime try to rock the look - I honestly believe with a dash of confidence you can pull any look off.

Oh OP
Can you get in with a hairdresser to sort it out?

Head and shoulders shampoo....it strips the colour right off your hair. Wash rinse repeat! (This is a mistake I've made too!)

Happy birthday! I have also lost both my parents and it's so shit...remember the love and strength they filled you up with, it will last you a lifetime

I did this! I ended up with jet black hair.

Fear not, it will fade after a few washes, mine ended up a lovely chocolate brown.

Don't go too overboard with the harsh shampooing, give it an intensive condition and leave it be for now. Dry brittle hair will make you feel even worse.

OP, I just stripped deepest darkest red from my hair. I am a shade of ginger right now that does not match my skin tone. Solidarity!!