Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel offended by co-worker's message

103 replies

AnnieNonaMouse · 16/03/2019 13:09

I had my last day at work this week before starting maternity leave for dc2. My line manager organised a mini leaving do for me and I received some lovely gifts and a card with messages from all of my co-workers. One of the messages from a more junior member of my team said 'congratulations on having a baby and passing your workload onto me'. Am I right to feel a little offended by this? I know it may have been tongue in cheek but it wasn't followed by anything and it isn't the first time she's made remarks (I've been part-time since having ds and she often comes out with 'enjoy your day off' etc).

I appreciate that she feels as though her workload will increase in my absence, however we have just hired another junior who will also be sharing the workload. I just can't help feeling that it's a disservice to women to make such remarks (ironically she is part of the company's equality committee).

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 16/03/2019 13:13

She sounds a delight have you said anything about her to your line manager I would being a sarky moo just makes her look bitter.

shinyNewPound · 16/03/2019 13:14

Don't give it any more head space. Also at my work, two of the most hideous bullies and arsehole managers are heading up our anti bullying and staff welfare groups...

TokenGinger · 16/03/2019 20:19

It just sounds like she has a sense of humour that doesn't click with yours. That's the kind of thing I'd say, but only to somebody I'm close enough to for them to know it's a joke.

I don't think she means any harm by it. I can't believe anybody would be so stupid to write something like that if she meant it seriously.

Echobelly · 16/03/2019 20:23

I'm pretty sure it was intended as a joke, I understand feeling sensitive around now but I'm pretty certain it was ill-judged humour and nothing more.

Worlds0kayestmum · 16/03/2019 20:25

I had a similar message in my card when I left work on maternity leave, I just laughed and went back to cuddling my baby (he arrived unexpectedly and I hadn't started maternity leave so I left abruptly and the card arrived in the post). Don't give it anymore thought

HomeMadeMadness · 16/03/2019 20:25

Even as a joke it isn't the time or place to make it (unless you're very close and you know the recipient will see the funny side). She sounds annoying and bitter.

PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2019 20:26

I’d read it as a joke and not to let it bother you.

Oysterbabe · 16/03/2019 20:26

I'd take that as a joke too.

Troels · 16/03/2019 20:27

Sounds like she was trying to make a joke.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 16/03/2019 20:28

I’d assume it was a joke as well. You’re off on maternity leave now and don’t need to see her so I wouldn’t even bother wasting more time thinking about it.

NChangeForNoReason · 16/03/2019 20:33

My last day on Friday ... I had the exact same joke thrown at me in my card and to my face!

My response - about time you found out what real work is like!!

It was a joke - done worry about it, enjoy your time off Smile

IncrediblySadToo · 16/03/2019 20:34

I had my last day at work this week

From one ‘Annie’ to another...read what you wrote ^ and ask yourself why you’re giving this head space. It doesn’t matter even a tiny bit what one junior staff member thinks!!

You’re about to have a baby & some lovely maternity leave...she might not even still be there when you go back and if she is, deal with it then. She might have a sense of humour that’s a bit misplaced or she might be a little upstart who needs putting in her place...but that’s all MONTHS away IF she’s even still there.

IAmAPersonToo · 16/03/2019 20:36

Just give her a massive grin and tell her you'll think of her when you're enjoying your X months off!

Emilydickensonsdogs · 16/03/2019 20:39

I would think it just a joke too. Maybe a little tactless but not terrible.

deste · 16/03/2019 20:49

She probably thinks it was funny. Enjoy your maternity leave and don’t give it a second thought.

HaventGotAllDay · 16/03/2019 20:52

It's a joke. It's what people put in leaving cards.
And if you're part time, then d'oh, you have days off. So, shock horror, people might say "have a nice day off"
You sound like you take offence very quickly.

swindy · 16/03/2019 20:56

Haha, I did laugh. It's a joke

EmmaC78 · 16/03/2019 20:58

What else would people say except enjoy your day off?! You are part time so have a day off work.

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 20:58

I would have laughed.

comfysocks8516 · 16/03/2019 21:00

I’d say a joke too

koality · 16/03/2019 21:02

She was joking, and 'enjoy your day off' is a very normal thing to say Hmm

SummerHouse · 16/03/2019 21:03

I would find this unnecessary and bitchy and reading the other comments I am asking myself why. I am part time and get the "how was your holiday" comments when I come back after 2 days off which also annoy me.

I think to be totally honest it might be because I am a martyr and I feel a bit guilty.

So I agree with PPs that this is not worth a second thought but I also totally understand why you would take offense.

Foxmuffin · 16/03/2019 21:14

Sounds like a joke. A joke in extremely poor taste but a joke nonetheless.

GarthFunkel · 16/03/2019 21:17

Best message I ever saw in a maternity leaving card was written by a 50-something man - 'Great escape plan - will try to follow' Grin

Halo84 · 16/03/2019 21:17

Yes, definitely a joke.