To feel offended by co-worker's message

[AnnieNonaMouse]

I had my last day at work this week before starting maternity leave for dc2. My line manager organised a mini leaving do for me and I received some lovely gifts and a card with messages from all of my co-workers. One of the messages from a more junior member of my team said 'congratulations on having a baby and passing your workload onto me'. Am I right to feel a little offended by this? I know it may have been tongue in cheek but it wasn't followed by anything and it isn't the first time she's made remarks (I've been part-time since having ds and she often comes out with 'enjoy your day off' etc).

I appreciate that she feels as though her workload will increase in my absence, however we have just hired another junior who will also be sharing the workload. I just can't help feeling that it's a disservice to women to make such remarks (ironically she is part of the company's equality committee).

See I would find that funny!

I’m with you OP. The message in the card alone is one thing but the ‘’enjoy your day off’’ comments would annoy me after a while.

I’ve got a colleague like that and she hates the fact that I job share with another colleague. She makes constant snarky comments. very tiresome.

It’s just a weird bitter jealousy over nothing much at all.

It sounds like a joke to me. I’d just forget it if I was you.

Best message I ever saw in a maternity leaving card was written by a 50-something man - 'Great escape plan - will try to follow'

This made me giggle.

She probably wrote it in a hurry and didn't over-think it.
Or perhaps thinks the two of you are closer than you perceive and that you'll get her sense of humour.
The times I've signed leaving cards for people I thought were bloody terrible I've always written very neutral messages. I'd only write a joke like that for someone I liked iyswim

could have just been a joke that misfired? i wouldnt write something like that myself, but i might have done 30 odd years ago when i was young and silly and didnt think things through enough to know that not everyone finds things funny and might take it the wrong way!

well I would have found it funny and said to them 'thanks and you're welcome. Time to make yourself useful"

I'd take that as a joke.

You should have replied "Yeah, I was thinking of you when I was having sex".

Let her take that whatever way she wants!

"I am so glad my workload has gone to you. LOL"

My replacement wrote "Thanks for the job. Don't come back!"

Forget about it, I guess it is a younger person and their sense of humour. It is not a disservice to women, just a person who will not understand until they are in the same position. Shame they work in equality but most young people are just concerned with equal rights for gay and non white people and think we are dinosaurs.

soon you will have a lovely baby and another one to care for and be so busy you wont have time to worry about this at all! its nothing, she probably wasnt thinking enough and just thought it would make you smile/ laugh or whatever.
If she is being bitchy, then let her bitch! its not your problem now for ages. she may even be gone by the time you get back there!

I get it op. It could obviously be a joke, but I had a coworker who made comments like this all the time and she clearly wasn’t joking. She used to say “enjoy your day off” but with an eye roll and then muttering about “some people have to work 5 days a week.” She was older woman and I just used to smile and say “I will don’t worry.”

Almost certainly a joke. Imagine it said with a wry smile.

If not a joke then fuck them anyway. What different does it make?

Ha wait till she has a baby! People have no idea until it’s them!

So not only is she doing your work but she gets to train a new junior as well. No wonder she was sarcastic.

Get a grip!

I take it this is your first baby...you need to lighten up a bit

I'd take it as a joke. We always say to colleagues enjoy your day off.

Oh gosh it's a joke get over it

I take it this is your first baby...you need to lighten up a bit

The opening line says it's DC2 but agree that it's not something to get worked up about, a joke that you don't find funny, she might write that in every maternity leave card.

Love the 'fuck off, tubby', can imagine my family writing that 😂

IMO it's a misguided joke. One day she'll make a similar comment to the wrong person and will learn the hard way.

It was a joke. You're waaaay overthinking this.
I probably would have sent back a funny gif of files piled up to the ceiling and said enjoy! :)

You know what a joke is, right?

Clearly not. Lots of people don't. We must get at least 1 thread a week with someone who's really offended that someone else told a joke they don't like- there are always lots of comments supporting them.